Happy Birthday Catherine Zeta Jones!

Swordplay

 “I kept thinking 'Thank God I have long hair in this movie”

Picture Legend:

1. Catherine Zeta Jones
2. Real young Catherine
3. Aspiring actress
4. First acting job, first movie, first female lead as Scheherazade
5. As Mariette in “The Darling Buds of May”
6. With John Cleese in “Splitting Heirs”
7. Coming to the States in “Young Indiana Jones”
8. “Blue Juice” with a pre-”Trainspotting” Ewan McGregor
9. “The Phantom” with pre-"Titanic" Billy Zane
10. With Peter Gallagher in TVs “Titanic”
11. As Elena in “The Mask of Zorro” with Antonio Banderas & Anthony Hopkins
12. In “Entrapment” with Sean... oooppps, sorry
13. In “Entrapment” with Sean Connery
14. “The Haunting”
15. Glamour shot
16. Wedding picture
17. With Randy Quaid in “Traffic”
18. “America’s Sweethearts”
19. With Renee Zellweger and a Academy Award for “Chicago”
20. Working with Tom Hanks & that Spielberg guy in “The Terminal”
21. With that Pitt guy in “Ocean’s 12“
22. Publicity shot with Guy Pierce and Saoirse Ronan for “Death Defying Acts”
23. Dancing again in “Rock of Ages”
24. Captivating Gerard Butler in “Playing for Keeps”
25. Chilling in “Side Effects”
26. Working with Hopkins  and Willis again in “Red 2“
27. With Michael last April
28. Out and about in Beijing last Sunday (9-21-20013)

   It is my great pleasure and honor to give a great big happy birthday shout out this morning to one of my favorite actresses, Ms Catherine Zeta Jones!

   Her husband, Michael Douglas, the famous actor, is also celebrating his birthday today. He’s 25 years older than his wife. Happy birthday to you as well Mike, and congratulations on your Emmy Award last Sunday, but we’re going to concentrate on Catherine today because frankly, she’s so much more prettier than you are, so please go away for a little while until we’re finished. Thank you for your cooperation... cradle robber.

   Much like Richard Burton, Anthony Hopkins, and Christian Bale, and many others, Catherine was born in Wales, which is part of Great Britain, as well as England to the east, and Scotland to the north. Like the three actors mentioned above, she was born at a very early age as a small infant (at 2:40 PM (Middle European Time), but in the city of Swansea (pronounced “swan - sea”) specifically (I don’t know what cities those three guys were born in (Pontrhydyfen, Margam, and Haverfordwest respectively)), which lies on the southwest coast and was known for it’s copper, so much so that some people called it  'Copperopolis' behind it’s back.

   The Germans liked to bomb it during World War II, but that was way before Catherine’s time.

   One of my favorite poets, Dylan Thomas was also born in Swansea, on another shared birthday, mine! October 27th, but 41 years before me.

   I once stagemanaged his radio play, adapted for the stage, “Under Milkwood,” when I was in college (one of the few classes I was able to get through).

   Catherine was aware that Mr. Thomas was born in her home town and later honored him by naming her production company  Milkwood Films, which is based in Swansea.

   But we’re getting ahead of ourselves a little. Let’s slow down and take a deep breath.

   Okay, Catherine’s mom, Patricia, was a seamstress of Welsh-Irish descent, and her dad,  David (“Dai") James Jones, a sweet-factory operator and/or owner, is pure Welsh. Catherine got her first name from her mother’s mom, whose name was also Catherine. She got her middle name Zeta from her dad’s mom, who was named after either the 6th letter of the Greek alphabet, or a company that makes high performance parts for dirt bikes. Or something else. Oh yes, here it is. Grandma was named after a boat seen in Swansea Harbor, that was itself named after the 6th letter of the Greek alphabet, or a company that makes high performance parts for dirt bikes. In any case that name would later help set her apart from other actresses who were named Catherine Jones (I remember seeing Catherine and Michael  on television at a special taping of “Saturday Night Live,” where Bill Murray was doing a bit, singing a song while going through the celebrity filled audience. He would stop singing at points and speak to one audience member or another, and he came up to the couple, looking fondly down at them. “Oh Catherine,” he crooned. “That name...” Catherine smiling said “I know, Zeta...” “Jones,” Murray threw out while moving on).

   Ms Jones has two brothers. Her younger brother, Lyndon, is a film producer working at Milkwood Films and acts as Catherine’s personal manager, and her older brother David is either a stuntman or a development executive depending on what source is used. Maybe he’s both.

   Or neither. It’s only important to David, so let’s move on.

   Catherine was born in Swansea but grew up in the nearby seaside town of Mumbles, which was named after a character in the Dick Tracy comics.

   Wales has it’s very own language other than English, just like the Irish (Gaelic), and Scotland (Scottish Gaelic). In Wales the language is called Welsh, which is, oddly enough,  named after an American grape drink.

   Catherine knows how to speak Welsh of course, as well as English, and just for good measure Spanish and French too.

   Catherine began taking dancing lessons when she was four years old, displaying a natural talent to perform, and by the time she was ten was participating regularly with her church sponsored theater group. She dreamed of being a professional dancer.

   She attended Dumbarton House School in Swansea, which no longer exists. It was torn down in 1993 to make way for new apartments. While at that school however, one of her classmates, Rob Brydon, who would later become a successful actor and comedian, stole poor little Catherine’s lunch money! How rude. He even admitted to the deed on national television!

   This monster would in time be rewarded by the Queen of England by being given the title of Member of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire. Son of a bitch!

   Catherine would exact her revenge by being awarded Commander of the Order of the British Empire in the 2010 Queen's Birthday Honours List for her accomplishments in film and television, which is two orders senior to Brydon’s MBE, but one shy of earning the title “Dame.”

   “As a British subject, I feel incredibly proud, at the same time it is overwhelming and humbling. And my mum and dad are delighted beyond belief,” Catherine would later say.

   If I were her I’d charge Brydon the principle, plus interest, which according to my calculations comes to about, let’s see... 476,345 pounds and 43 pence. Pay up Brydon!

   Catherine unfortunately was exposed to a viral infection as a child which impaired her breathing, and caused her to receive a tracheotomy. Her illness caused her to miss quite a bit of school, and upon her recovery her parents, who had won a local lottery to help pay for it, enrolled her in a private school to help her catch up on her studies.  

   Nothing kept Catherine from pursuing her dreams. She began acting when she was eleven. She was cast in the lead in “Annie,” in a production at the Swansea Grand Theatre, which marked her professional acting career, and at age thirteen, starred in a West End production of the musical "Bugsy Malone,” which was based on a 1976 British musical gangster film, a genre Catherine would explore again a few years later in the film “Chicago.”

   Every Sunday morning for 15 years, Catherine’s dad woke her up to Elvis Presley singing "American Trilogy" or Van Morrison's "Moondance," which of course prompted her to move to London, where she got her Actor’s Guild card. In 1986, at age seventeen she got a part in the chorus of “The Pajama Game,” at the Haymarket Theatre, in Leicester. The show subsequently toured throughout the United Kingdom. The very next year she suspiciously won the lead role of Peggy Sawyer in the musical “42nd Street,” after both the original actress cast in that role, and her understudy, mysteriously fell ill. What a fortuitous coincidence.

   Anyway, Catherine continued to develop her craft.

   “I didn't even think about movies where I came from. I wanted to be on the stage. When I was ten, I did Annie in the West End. I did Bugsy Malone when I was eleven and twelve. And then at sixteen, David Merrick saw me in “42nd Street.” I took over the lead and he cast me. I was there for two and a half years. Right now, these young kids are going crazy. I never had that because I had a work ethic. I had to turn up and be there six nights a week.”

     She also played Mae Jones in the Kurt Weill opera “Street Scene” with the English National Opera at the London Coliseum Theatre in 1989.

   And like most actresses, Catherine was spotted working in a production by a famous film director and offered the female lead in their next film.

   In Catherine’s case the film director was Philippe de Broca, who had been making movies in France since 1959. He saw Catherine working in the West End Theatre and offered her not only her first film role, but also the female lead.

   The film was 1990's “Les 1001 Nuits,” which for all of us who speak French know translates to “One Thousand and One Nights.” or “Kitāb alf laylah wa-laylah,” in Arabic. The film is loosely based on a story from the “Arabian Nights,” specifically the tale of Scheherazade.

   Catherine plays Scheherazade, the wife of an Arabian king who likes virgin wives, one at a time. After he deviginizes one wife he has her executed at sunrise, and then goes on to the next. One would wonder why any woman would accept this king’s proposal for marriage. Yet it’s good to be king I guess, and women in the Middle East have little personal power. Anyway, Scheherazade marries the king, but delays the usual fate of his brides by putting off the connubial event for a thousand and one nights, telling irresistible stories that are unfinished when the sun rises.

   As I said, it’s loosely based, as there’s a contemporary genie involved, who helps Scheherazade by giving her modern technological stuff like parachutes, on and on. A montage of Catherine in this film is right here.

   “Les 1001 Nuits,” was shot in France,  Morocco, and Tunisia, and production ended on August 1, 1989. The film was released in Paris in 1990 and sold 29,340 tickets in its first week. At the end of its theatrical run in Paris, it sold a total of 72,409 tickets, then it was released on VHS.

   The film did not propel Catherine to instant stardom, still Catherine was now a bonafide movie actress.

   She returned to England and won the role of Mariette Larkin, the eldest daughter of a rural family in the British television series “The Darling Buds of May.” Here’s a clip.

   The show ran for three seasons (1991 through1993), and made Catherine one of the most popular actresses in Britain.

   Now Catherine was a bonafide, successful television actress.

   She worked on other projects during the “The Darling Buds of May,” years. As a singer she  portrayed Palene, the beautiful Thracian prophetess and woman of Spartacus, in Jeff Wayne's 1992 musical version of "Spartacus." This project would mark the first time she would work with fellow Welsh person Anthony Hopkins (fresh off of his Academy Award winning portrayal of Hannibal Lecter, in ”Silence of the Lambs”).

   Catherine more than likely didn’t know it at the time but her future father-in-law had some success in a film version of “Spartacus” some 32 years prior to this performance.

   She worked with 1/3 of Monty Python... John Cleese and Eric Idle, as well as Rick Moranis, and the lovely Barbara Hershey, in “Splitting Heirs.” I just happen to have a clip right here.

   And the American historical production of “Christopher Columbus: The Discovery,” in which she appeared with Marlon Brando, Tom Selleck, and a young Benicio del Toro, in his fourth film. Catherine and Benicio would later work together again in something called “Traffic.”

   The film was a big flop at the box office costing $45 million to make, and bringing in $8.25 mill. Maybe it had something to do with that title.

   In 1994 she made the move to right here where I live, Los Angeles, because that’s where the work was, although later she would say, “ I could never see myself living in Hollywood unless I really had to, it's not really my kind of place.”  

   We here at Joyce’s Take love her anyway.

   Of course she soon got more work in films. 1995‘s “Blue Juice,” with Ewan  McGregor, whose next film would include his breakout performance in “Trainspotting” (as well as director Danny Boyle, who would go on to make “Slumdog Millionaire”), and “The Phantom,” with Billy Zane, who would later appear in James Cameron’s “Titanic,” and another favorite actress of mine, the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Kristy Swanson.

   Interestingly, Catherine’s next project was a two part American mini series, “Titanic,” in which she played opposite Peter Gallagher (who would later appear in “American Beauty”) and one of my favorite actors, George Campbell Scott, better known perhaps as George C Scott, who played the ill fated Capt. Edward J. Smith.

   I remember seeing this movie, although I don’t remember Catherine in it (sorry, I was probably drinking heavily at the time). The only thing I do remember is George C. Scott in character, after accessing the damage the ice burg had made and determining the ship was going to sink, saying, “We should have ran straight into it. There would have been less damage.”

   I believe that is true.

   As fortune would have it a young director (50 is kind of young, isn’t it? It is to me), whose last film at the time was something called “Schindler's List,” and whose next films would be “The Lost World: Jurassic Park,” and “Amistad,” saw Catherine in “Titanic,” and noticed her (he probably hadn’t been drinking).  

   Steven Spielberg recommended her to director Martin Campbell (whose last film had been “GoldenEye,” Pierce Brosnan’s first try as James Bond), who was in pre-production of an action film featuring  Don Diego de la Vega, better known perhaps as Zorro (Spanish for “Fox”).    Campbell cast Catherine as Elena Montero, the female lead, alongside the Spanish actor Antonio Banderas, and Anthony Hopkins, in his second appearance with Catherine.

   The movie was called “The Mask of Zorro.” Catherine learned dancing, riding, sword-fighting and took part in dialect classes, and she was a big success.

   Variety magazine noted, "Zeta-Jones is bewitchingly lovely as the center of everyone's attention, and she throws herself into the often physical demands of her role with impressive grace." She won the Blockbuster Entertainment Award for Favorite Female Newcomer and received an Empire Award nomination for Best British Actress and a Saturn Award nomination for Best Actress.

   This was her breakout film. She had arrived. She was a full blown movie star.

   Variety noted she was the center of everyone’s attention, well she certainly got mine, as this was the first time that I became aware of her and took note.

   Someone else took note of her as well. The actor Michael Douglas, who was married at the time, but seeking a divorce, after seeing Catherine in Mask turned to a friend sitting next to him and said, "I don't know who she is, but I'm gonna marry that woman."

   I say that all of the time but nothing ever comes of it.

   That was in 1998. Now she started getting leading parts in big productions like the next year’s “Entrapment,” with Sean Connery, a film that kinda makes me cringe each time I see it because Sean and Catherine fool around on the outside of the Petronas Towers, in Kuala Lumpu, which at the time were the tallest buildings in the world, and I’m afraid of heights (they’re still the tallest twin buildings in the world). You can find a clip from this film right here.

   The next film I have to take issue with. Not with Catherine’s performance, she was great, as usual. But with the writing and directing, and production.

   As a kid one of the few films that genuinely scared the hell out of me was Robert Wise’s adaptation of Shirley Jackson’s masterpiece, “The Haunting of Hill House.” The film was called “The Haunting,” and starred Richard Johnson, Russ Tamblyn, the lovely Claire Bloom, and the lovely Julia Harris, who just passed away last August, and who was memorialized last Sunday during the Emmy Awards.

   It was simple. There was no gratuitous violence. But it was scary as hell (for the time. I showed it to case managers Paul and Lovely Erin one time during Movie Day, and they kind of shrugged their shoulders, not very impressed. Of course they grew up with “The Exorcist,” and Freddy Kruger). In 2010, The Guardian newspaper ranked it as the 13th best horror film of all time. Director Martin Scorsese has placed “The Haunting” first on his list of the 11 scariest horror films of all time.

   Director Jan de Bont’s ( of “Speed 2: Cruise Control” fame) 1999 effort, however, was quite a different thing. The film had a great cast with Catherine, Liam Neeson, Owen Wilson, and the lovely Lili Taylor.  

   The movie was not well received.

   “The Haunting had a negative reception, with most critics citing its weak screenplay, its overuse of horror clichés, and its overdone CGI effects. Rotten Tomatoes gave the film a "Rotten" rating of 17%, with the critical consensus stating "Sophisticated visual effects fail to offset awkward performances and an uneven script." Roger Ebert was one of few critics to give the film a positive review, praising the production design in particular. As a result of the negative reviews, it was nominated for five Razzie Awards. However, the film was a financial success, earning $91.2 million domestically and $177.3 million worldwide, with a budget of $80 million.” -Wikipedia

   “The Haunting,” probably broke about even after marketing and distribution costs were factored in, but rentals, and other forms of distribution most likely made it financially successful.

   Yet I have I have to agree with the writing (Lili screaming, “It’s all about family! It’a always been about family!”) and the CGI. I mean all I thought about while watching it was that was terrible CGI.

   Alright. Enough. The only other thing I have to say about this movie is this. See the picture above with Catherine and the rest of “The Haunting” cast? Well I think that’s what most audiences looked like while watching it.

   Danny DeVito introduced Catherine to his past co-star Michael Douglas, at the Deauville Film Festival in France in August of 1998. How Danny knew Catherine I have no idea. Apparently Michael said this to her, "I'd like to father your children." Oooh Yuck.

   They began dating in March of 1999. They became engaged in Aspen, Colorado, on the last day of 1999, just as Y2K was about to kick in. Catherine gave birth to their son Dylan Michael in August of 2000, and were married at the Plaza Hotel in New York City on the 18th of  November in 2000. I’ll bet you almost anything that that is Dylan Michael Michael is holding in the wedding picture above.

   Catherine‘s advice for married people, “For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.”

   Okay, personal business done, let’s get back to work.

   Before they got married Catherine and Michael were engaged. Don’t take my word for it, just look at the paragraph above the one directly above this one. So they might as well make a movie together, which they did. It was called “Traffic,” and they never appeared in the same scene. Catherine worked with Benicio Monserrate Rafael del Toro Sánchez, perhaps better known as Benicio del Toro again as well, but they never shared a scene either.

   The film was directed by Steven Soderbergh and won critical acclaim. Soderbergh even won an Academy Award for his efforts, as well as Benicio for Best Supporting Actor.

   Many think Catherine was robbed for not even being nominated for an Academy Award, including myself (she did win her her first Golden Globe nomination, as Best Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture, as well as many other nominations and acclaim). I mean she faked being pregnant so well... oh wait a second, she was pregnant. Little Dylan Michael was inside her throughout that movie. As a matter of fact they had to rewrite her part to account for her pregnancy. Here’s a short clip.

   Just four months after delivering Dylan, Catherine got back to work making “America’s Sweethearts,” with  Julia Roberts, Billy Crystal and John Cusack. Catherine and Julia played sisters because they look so much alike. Here’s a little montage from the film.  

   Many of you know I don’t care for musicals, at least movie musicals. Rarely do I see folks walking down the street and spontaneously break out into song and choreographed dance. It can happen, but it’s very rare (flash mobs notwithstanding).

   I have one exception and that is Bob Fosse musical’s. Give me “All That Jazz,” “Sweet Charity,” and “Cabaret,” all day and I’d be happy.

   Fosse also directed a musical adaptation of the 1926 play “Chicago,” written by Maurine Dallas Watkins, which was based on two unrelated 1924 cases of two women, Beulah Annan and Belva Gaertner, who were both suspected and later acquitted for murder. Well of course Bob wanted to make a musical out of that, wouldn’t you (actually he was bullied by his lovely wife, dancer/actress Gwen Verdon into making it)?

   And he did. “Chicago”  opened in 1975 at the 46th Street Theatre, and ran for 936 performances until 1977. Bob also choreographed the original production, and his distinctive, sexy, style is strongly identified with the show.

   FYI My father was born in Chicago.

   Many people are.

   Anyway, Fosse wanted to make a movie out of his stage production of “Chicago,” and it was to be his next project after making “Star 80“ in 1983. Unfortunately for all of us he passed away in 1987.

   However, Miramax Films took up the project and the result was 2002‘s “Chicago,” starring Catherine, the lovely Renee Zellweger, Richard Gere, the lovely John C. Reilly, Christine Baranski, Mýa Marie Harrison, and Queen Latifah (all lovely), and directed and choreographed (Bob Fosse’s distinctive jazz choreography style is evident throughout the film. In particular, the parallels to “Cabaret,” are numerous and distinct. He is thanked in the film's credits) by Rob (“Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”) Marshall.

   Catherine (and everyone else in the movie) sang and danced. Until I saw this I had no idea she came from a musical background, and I was suitably impressed.

   Catherine was originally approached to play the part of Roxie, but wanted to play Velma Kelly instead because she liked the song "All That Jazz," which Velma sang, so Renee ended up winning the role of Roxie (and top billing).

   Here’s Catherine singing “All That Jazz.”

   “Chicago,” cost $45 million to make, and made $306,776,732 worldwide, so it was immensely successful (and profitable). The film won six Academy Awards in 2003, including Best Picture and Best Supporting Actress for Catherine Zeta Jones.

   Her old “Entrapment” friend, Sean Connery, presented her with the award.

   “ A Scotsman giving a Welsh girl an Oscar - oh my God!”

    The Seattle Post-Intelligencer stated, "Zeta-Jones makes a wonderfully statuesque and bitchy saloon goddess." Slate magazine also praised her performance, saying that she "has a smoldering confidence that takes your mind off her not – always – fluid dancing – although she's a perfectly fine hoofer, with majestic limbs and a commanding cleavage.”

   Majestic limbs and a commanding cleavage? Somebody’s mind is in the gutter.

   Catherine also won a BAFTA Award for Best Actress in a Supporting Role, and two Screen Actors Guild Awards, for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role and as a member of Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture.

   Having won an Academy Award now there was only one thing left to do.

   Carys Zeta Jones was born in April of 2003.

   In 2004, Catherine became the first T-Mobile Girl, making commercials for Deutsche Telekom AG, a German telecommunications company that is attempting to take over the world. The lovely Canadian model and actress Carly Foulkes would take over in 2010, until the company gave her the boot and replaced her with SNL’s Bill Hader.

   WTF?!

   BRING BACK CATHERINE AND CARLY!

   Anyway, Catherine’s next film project was 2004's “The Terminal,” along with Tom Hanks, and directed by the guy who got her the Zorro gig, Steven Spielberg.

   Tom’s character  Viktor Navorski fell in love with Catherine’s Amelia Warren, but like with most women, they just don’t know what’s best for them, and she went with the wrong guy. It’s very sad.

   Best line of the movie, “He sure does love that goat.”

   That year she also reunited with director Steven Soderbergh ( and actors Julia Roberts and Don Cheadle) in “Ocean's Twelve,” the sequel to 2001‘s “Ocean's Eleven,” which was a remake of 1960‘s “Ocean’s 11,” starring Peter Lawford, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr. and Joey Bishop. “Ocean’s Twelve,” also had some other notable actors in it, namely George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Carl Reiner, among others.

   In 2005 she made a sequel to “The Mask of Zorro.” This time it was “The Legend of Zorro,” reuniting with Antonio Banderas.

   In 2007 she starred opposite Aaron Eckhart and the lovely Abigail Breslin in “No Reservations.” She promoted the film on the Letterman Show in which Dave pervs out on her hair here.      

   That year she also made “Death Defying Acts,” along with Guy Pearce and the lovely Saoirse Ronan, a tale of the last days of escape artist Harry Houdini, sort of, a film I saw just last Saturday. Very good.

   Back on the stage Catherine won a Tony Award for Best Leading Actress in a Musical in 2010 for her portrayal of Desiree in "A Little Night Music".

   She appeared in another musical film, along with Tom Cruise, “Breaking Bad’s” Bryan Cranston, Paul Giamatti, Julianne Hough, and a whole bunch of other fine individuals in “Rock of Ages,” just last year.

   Another bout with Soderbergh in 2013's “Side Effects,” a psychological, murder mystery also starring “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’s” Rooney Mara, Jude Law, and Channing Tatum.

   And another turn with Anthony Hopkins in this years “Red 2,” along with Bruce Willis, Brian Cox, and the lovely Helen Mirren, Mary-Louise Parker, and John Malkovich.

   “In August 2010, Michael Douglas publicly revealed that he had been diagnosed with a dangerously advanced stage of throat cancer. Over the course of the next year, Douglas battled the disease aggressively - at one point losing as much as 32 pounds as a side-effect - and by early 2011 he announced that the tumor had been eliminated, much to the obvious relief of Zeta-Jones, who had foregone career opportunities in order to remain by her husband's side during the ordeal.Adding to the stress of the previous year was the incarceration of Douglas' long-troubled son, Cameron, who was sentenced to five years in prison for the possession of heroin and intended sale of methamphetamines.”

   Catherine admitted herself into Silver Hills Hospital in New Canaan, Connecticut on April 6, 2011 for a five-day treatment for Bipolar II Disorder before leaving the hospital on April 11, 2011.

   "I'm not the kind of person who likes to shout out my personal issues from the rooftops but, with my biopolar becoming public, I hope fellow sufferers will know it is completely controllable."

   Who knows what kind of strain Michael’s illness and recovery, and Catherine’s, places on a marriage? I don’t, that’s for sure.

   As of now the couple have announced they have separated, but no mention of divorce has been made.

   Last Sunday Michael thanked his wife and children for their support while accepting an Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie, for his portrayal of  the musician Liberace in “Behind the Candelabra.”

   The movie was directed by Steven Soderbergh.

   And Catherine seems to be doing well as evidenced in the last picture above.

   And all of us here wish her and her family continued good health and fortune, and of course a very happy birthday.

   Happy birthday Catherine!

Skid Row Diary 15

11   August   2003     Monday       Day 30

   I had left my small portable television set on and “The X-Files,” was just ending as I woke with that strange pressure in the center of my chest once again. Once I became aware of it I could not return to sleep, tossing and turning for a half hour, before getting up and changing the channel to 9, and “The Outer Limits,” and watched the last half of an episode starring Enrico Colantoni, the bald actor from “Just Shoot Me.”

   I soon became uninterested and switched over to the radio and listened to Frank Sontag’s “Impact,” show.

   Frankie wasn’t feeling very well this morning, complaining of nausea. His show suffered from it. He was fairly confrontational with each caller, but the blame cannot entirely be laid on his shoulders. Most of the callers I heard were... and how can I put this delicately... witless morons. One gentleman claimed he loved Hispanics and knew quite a few personally, and was concerned they were taking over the country.

   “Why does that frighten you?” Frank asked.

   “Is that the way you think the country should be?” the caller replied.

   “It doesn’t matter,” Frank said. “They’re just people!”

   A sixteen year old male called in informing Frank that Jesus Christ had been a Nazi.

   “Are you a Christian, Frank?” the boy asked.

   “Yes I am... I’m most certainly a Christian.”

   “Because sometimes I hear you talking about Buddhism.”

   “I’m a Buddhist too,” Frank said. “I’m a Buddhist and a Christian.”

   “But the Bible says you can’t have any other Gods than Jesus.”

   “Where does it say that?” Frank asked.

   “Read scripture Frank.”

   “I’ve read the Bible front to back and I didn’t read anywhere that you cannot be a Christian and a Buddhist!”

   “Read scripture Frank.”

   The Second Commandment of the Old Testament states  “You shall have no other gods before me.”  Yet Buddhist worship no deity or God, so rightfully being a Buddhist and Christian could be an exemption... a loophole if you will.

   Personally I bypass the entire controversy by declaring I’m not a Christian.

  The last caller I overheard before finally drifting back to sleep sounded like a bad impersonation of Austin Powers, calling Frank “baby,” every two sentences, and complaining that the subject matter of the show was not political enough for him.

   “Have you been drinking?” Frank asked.

   I feel a certain kinship with Frank Sontag. He’s just a few months older than I am, we practically share the same political and philosophical views, we’re both rugged of build, extremely sexy, with the added bonus of being ridiculously good looking, and both of our love lives are straight in the toilet.

   I was riding in the back of a taxi in Brooklyn, NY, in midafternoon, the sky a tad cloudy. A young, beautiful woman with sparkling red hair was driving. I looked at her cab license attached to the dashboard which told me her name was Elaine Nardo, a divorced mother of two, struggling to cope while trying to realize her ambitions in the field of fine art. She looked a lot like the actress Marilu Henner... very pretty. I looked to my right and noticed a small dark haired man sitting on the other side of the backseat, staring at the back of the driver’s head. I felt like I was in a dream.

   “Where are we going?” I asked.

   “Where do you want to go?” the redhead asked.

   “I’m not sure.”

   “We better get to Poughkeepsie then. You still picking your feet in Poughkeepsie?”

   “What?”

   “You’re still picking your feet in Poughkeepsie aren’t ya?”

   “That’s a good fare Nardo,” the little man next to me barked. “Let’s go.”

   “Picking my feet?” I looked down and noticed I wasn’t wearing any shoes or socks.

   “Yeah,” the driver said. “Take over Louie.”

   I blinked and suddenly the two had switched places, the lovely redhead sitting next to me with the short guy driving. She was looking at me ominously. 

   “Hi,” I said to her weakly.

   “Don’t Hi me, buddy. Let me look at those feet.”

   “My feet?”

   “Yeah, give them to me. I think he’s been picking his feet Louie.”

   “He looks like a foot picker to me,” the man said.

   “A foot picker? What does that even mean?”

   “It means you’ve been picking at those feet... let me see.”

   She grabbed my feet and placed them in her cute lap and began to manhandle them.

   “Yeah Lou... these feet have been picked for sure. “THESE ARE SOME PICKED FEET!”

   Suddenly the car swerved over a a road barrier and slipped into the frigid East River.

   Fortunately I was able to swim quickly to safety due to the fact that my feet had recently been picked...

   I woke with John Manzano knocking at my door. It was 7:00. I ignored him and he soon went away.

   I got up two hours later, my chest pain gone, but I was sniffling like a little girl, no doubt due to back paddling in that freaking river for so long.

   I checked to see what Giselle was wearing... pants.

   I had a 9:30 appointment with Downtown Mental Health which I needed to keep, so I quickly showered, dressed, and left the building.

   Their office is just a few blocks away on Maple St. I arrived on time, passed through the metal detector, and checked in. I asked to see my social worker, Anthony, as well as Dr. Perry.

   The lobby was quite full of mentally defective individuals such as myself. One bald young lady dressed in a green sweat suit compulsively snapped her fingers. A black Jamaican lady sitting behind me kept repeating a phrase in her native language, presumably to ward off evil spirits. A guy I knew, Frank Venezuela was there. 

   Anthony came and took me to an office in the back, and asked me what I wanted. “World peace, Anthony.”

   I showed him my disabled bus pass and pointed out that it was due to expire at the end of next month. He said he’d make out a new application for me, relieved that I didn’t have a real problem for him to deal with. I returned to the waiting room to wait some more.

   Homeless people and mentally deficient individuals do a lot of waiting. It’s part of the job description.

   Dr. Perry came for me a short while later and took me to his small office, commenting on my recently grown mustache. Dr. Perry’s a white gentleman in his mid-thirties, and fairly good looking if your into white gentleman in their mid-thirties.

   He looked through my file and generally asked me the same questions he asks every two months I come to see him. He was pleased that I had registered for school and would be starting classes next month. He wrote that down. I told him of my chest pains, and of my impending cold, and feeling sluggish because I’d been up half of the night. I admitted to eating a big Bologna sandwich (with 10 hot chile peppers), and he seemed to think that might have had something to do with my discomfort, as it did not appear to be heart related. Some form of heartburn I’d never experienced before. I told him I’d discuss the matter with my Primary Care Physician next week when I saw her.  

    He asked if I’d been depressed lately.

   “No.”

   “Suicidal thoughts?”

   “None.”

   “The last time was when... two thousand one?” he asked.

   “Yeah, when I was hospitalized.”

   I had checked myself into the mental ward of a hospital in Sun Valley for depression because that’s where the ambulance had taken me the night before after they had picked me up from the police station in Van Nuys where I had told told the police I was having a heart attack because the police had locked me up for public intoxication the day before and had released me at around two in the morning when it was very cold.

   “Can’t I just stay here until the morning?” I asked the police people.

   “No.”

   Assholes. The police in Santa Barbara had let me stay until the morning. It was even their idea.

   “It’s very cold outside. Why don’t you stay until the morning,” the Santa Barbara police lady asked me.

   “Okay.”

   They even gave me a shirt to wear because I’d been arrested without one.

   So I highly recommend getting arrested in lovely Santa Barbara rather than fucked up Van Nuys.

   Returning to my conversation with Dr. Perry, he asked if I ever got lonely, and “Do you ever want to get into a relationship with a woman?”

   I told him, “Sometimes I get lonely, but not right now. Ah, as I get older... the things I seek from that kind of relationship have changed markedly. I would need to do a lot of work on myself before I’d be of any use to anybody else. And the lady would have to be a lot like me in many respects, and halfway free from her own paralizing problems. That’s hard to find. Too many times I’ve been with ladies who were worse off than I was, and looked to me for some kind of salvation. Wrong place to look. Besides, there’s not that many females around here that would be interested in me that way. And I’ve never found it profitable to target a woman and pursue her. These things just kind of happen.

   Most women my age are practically old hags and ready for the bone yard anyway, except for Helen Mirren, and Stella Stevens, and Jill St. John of course.”

   “What?”

   “Nothing?”

   “Having any side effects to you medication?”

   “No.” I’m currently prescribed Prozac and Wellbutrin. I don’t take the Prozac. Dr. Perry doesn’t know that.

   “Well I don’t see any reason to change it, do you?”

   “Not right now, I guess. I don’t want to have to take it for the rest of my life if I don’t have to. That wouldn’t make sense, do you think?”

   “Well maybe...” he thought it over. The County Department of Mental Health had recently been criticized, and the mental health profession overall, for relying too much on chemicals to alleviate too many problems.

   “Let’s wait until after you start school and see how that goes before we make any changes. You don’t want to start something that’s so important and have a bout of major depression...”

   “Okay.”

   As we ended our brief session I asked him how he was doing.

   “I’m doing well,” he told me.

   “Are you sure? Because if there’s anything I can do...”

   “No. I’m fine. Really.”

   “Good. Your health and well being are extremely important to me.”

   I made an appointment for October 6th at 9:30, and took my refill prescriptions and left. I stopped at Skid Row Housing Trust and signed in. I then walked to the Noffel Pharmacy on Spring St. to have my prescriptions refilled.

   They gave me some candy along with my meds. Having missed breakfast I ate it up.

   I checked my mail and turned in the disabled bus pass application to the MTA Customer Service office in the Arco Plaza.

   I walked back to the Weingart needing the exercise, but it was hot, hot, hot. Global warming is taking effect. People are dying in France right now due to excessive heat. It could reach over 100 degrees locally today.

   John Manzano caught me at lunch.

   “Hey gangster,” he said to me as I sat down.

   “Hey.”

   “So what are you up to today,” he asked.

   “Nothing. What are you up to?”

   “Nothing.”

   Up in my room I began to read from “2001,” and promptly fell asleep.

   I dreamt I was in a haunted house in Seattle with Nancy Travis, the beautiful and talented actress and star of “Married to the Mob,” and “So I Married an Axe Murderer.” We both explored the large mansion until it got so scary we went fishing in Puget Sound. I caught a flounder.

   I felt like doing something constructive after I woke. I wrote while listening to NPR.

   Spaghetti and meat sauce was on the dinner menu. That was in a can, as I decided to eat in my room. I looked for my can opener, the key to to my large stash of canned goods I store in the northwest corner of my lonely room. I remembered that John Manzano had borrowed it to open a can of oysters and hadn’t returned it.

   I didn’t feel like standing in line to eat, so I went without. I could have made a sandwich, or hot dog, or some Top Ramen, but I wasn’t really that hungry.

   I spent most of the night listlessly watching television and reading.

   John Manzano knocked on my door two or three times. I didn’t respond.

   I planned on going to sleep after the Channel 13 News at 11, with Lauren Sanchez, who is the only reason to watch broadcast news as far as I’m concerned.

   Many people I know, many, feel that local... hell, even national television networks should drop the pretense and just go ahead and hire ex-beauty queens and Playboy models as anchors and dress them in bikinis for the daily news. I for one, am totally against the blatant use of sex appeal in order to gain ratings. Too many men would just turn the sound off and stay ignorant of news that was being presented. I will continue to work for an informed and educated America until the day I die!

   I turned the sound up on my TV so it would be ready in the morning then went to sleep.

   Coincidently I dreamt of the beautiful and talented Phoebe Cates, star of “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” and “Gremlins,” truly one of the prettiest ladies I’ve ever seen, who just happened to be wearing that same red bikini she wore in Fast Times. I don’t know why, but she was. It certainly wasn’t called for as we were in the local Food For Less supermarket shopping for jalapeno cheese rolls.

   “Oh, they look good today,” Phoebe exclaimed.

   “They certainly do,” I agreed.

   “You’re not looking at the pastries, Rick.”

   “What? Oh, yes, sorry... they do look good though. Tasty and fresh.”

   We continued on with our shopping, looking for cheap pizza rolls before heading for checkout.

12  August                Tuesday        Day 31

   John Manzano knocked on my door again at 7. He is nothing if not persistent. I once again ignored him and fell back into a gentle slumber.

   I finally got up at around 9. I didn’t feel particularly good, my cold symptoms now more pronounced. I thought about what I should do today, what I should get accomplished, while switching on my T.V. to see what Giselle was wearing.

   A dress! Finally! I eagerly recorded it on video tape for posterity. Who knows when this would happen again.

   It was a Trimar day, but I didn’t feel like going. I really shouldn’t donate plasma when I’m sick anyway.

   I did manage to go and check my mail. Nothing. No response yet from Voc Rehab or the DPSS.

   I decided to get my session with Labren done since I would be hanging around the hotel anyway. I waited for 45 minutes in the lobby outside of her office for her to finish typing something. I wrote while waiting.

   I gave her a quick rundown on what was happening with me when I was finally called to her office. Still looking for a job, registered for school, GR cash should kick in again next month. I told her that the two times I had appointments with Larry the job developer, he hadn’t been there. She called him giving the phone to me, and I unleashed hell on his voice mail. I also told her that I had attended two Phase Three meetings, but Mrs. Sanchez, the housing specialist, hadn’t shown up either. Labren called her up as well and I gave her hell to.

   She asked me to take a urine test, then forgot about it. Once again I have escaped form having my urine mistreated.

   She told me to keep up the good work and I went to eat some beef stew for lunch.

   I saw Gary Porch but did not speak to him. The whole left side of his face was blue and swollen. He’d been bad again.

   I felt very sluggish and out of sorts, and it wasn’t just because of the beef stew. I fell asleep up in my room near 1 o’clock. Uneasily I dreamt I was at China Lake with Madeline Stowe and Ione Skye, the beautiful and talented stars of “The General’s Daughter,” and “Say Anything,” respectively.

   We were skinny dipping in the middle of a cool, cloudless night, with a full moon suspended in the sky overhead. The girls ganged up on me, holding my head under the water until I woke up gasping for breath.

   I wrote while listening to NPR, then finished the Clarke 2001 book. Reading it one finds fault with the film by not adequately explaining how David Bowman came to join up with the extraterrestrials. Kubrick thought it was unnecessary to examine such details using imagery to carry through to the bizarre end.   

   I began looking through Peter Struab’s “Shadowland,” which I’ve already read once, but didn’t have the energy to reexamine the lengthy back story, and skimmed to the end. I next chose a Dean Koontz novel I had not read. “Tick Tock.” I was hungry for an escapist fiction fix.   

   I watched the “Miss Teen Pageant” on NBC, but became disinterested. I then put the video “Waking the Dead,” on, which starred the lovely Jennifer Connelly. A very affecting piece of work. It worked on me as I was suitably affected as I went to sleep, hoping I would feel better, both mentally and physically in the morning.

   I dreamed I was on a Quaker farm in Pennsylvania. I caught on to it being a Quaker farm due to all of the Quakers there. I looked down at myself and noticed I was dressed in Quaker garb and that I was only three and a half feet tall. I didn’t know which of the two observations was more disturbing.

   As I was thinking about it Patricia Arquette, the lovely and talented star of films such as “Holy Matrimony,” and “True Romance,” and sister of Rosanna, walked up to me holding a bucket in each hand. She was dressed as a Quaker too, but looked much better in her Quaker outfit than I did.

   “Come on Rick. It’s time to milk the cows,” she said to me.

   “Okay.”

   We entered a big barn and began milking. It was very hard, but we finally managed to get our buckets filled. We took them outside and gave them to the leader of the Quakers.

   “What’s this?” he asked.

   “We milked the cows for you sir,” Patricia answered.

   “We don’t have any cows,” he told us.

   Patricia and I looked at each other and then down at our full buckets.

   The Quaker leader said, “I believe you two are guilty of stealing jokes from ‘Kingpin,’  so come along. You must be married at once.”

   The next thing I remember was standing in the Quaker church next to Patricia as the Quaker leader read the marriage ritual from a Bible. We were holding hands.

   “Your sister had me electrocuted you know,” I whispered to her.

   “Sssssssshhhh,” the Quaker leader admonished, and continued reading. 

Don't Get Mad at Vlad 3

The President’s Speech Concerning Syria

   Yesterday we were discussing Russian President Vladimir Putin’s September 11th New York Times op-ed piece directed toward the American people concerning the United States' President  Obama Administration’s intent to bomb Syria because the Bashar al-Assad administration of Syria supposedly used chemical weapons against rebel forces in a Damascus suburb on August 21st, killing nearly 1,500 civilians, including at least 426 children.

   To date more than 100,000 people have died since the beginning of the civil war in Syria, with millions of Syrian refugees being displaced to neighboring countries such as Jordan, Iraq, Lebanon, and Turkey. Life in refugee camps in those countries is no picnic. It would be like being forced to move to Alabama here in the U.S.

   Secretary of State John Kerry seems hell bent on attacking Syria (a very small, limited, targeted attack. So what’s the purpose you might ask? To send a message, Kerry and Obama would say). President Obama seems to be trying to find any way possible not to attack Syria. Why?

   "More than seven in 10 Americans simply don't see a military response making any difference. They don't see it doing any good. They're very skeptical, post Iraq and even post Libya and post Egypt, that the United States can do something in a limited way in the Middle East and walk away with a success. And so the skepticism is driving it right now," says said John King, CNN chief national correspondent, in response to a September 7th CNN poll.

   Janet Weil writing for AlterNet amassed some other reasons the American people don’t want to attack Syria here.

   I agree with all of those reasons. By golly, come to think of it, I’m one of those American people!

   Vladimir Putin and  Bashar al-Assad  agree as well. Does that make them Americans? Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous, but they are certainly against an American attack no matter how small, limited, and targeted it is.

   Putin points out in his op-ed that military force has proven ineffective during United States foreign intervention in the past in practically every instance. I have to agree. We’re still in Afghanistan. I have absolutely no idea why. The country’s a complete mess. Nothing, in my opinion, has been accomplished there other than to provide a base from which American forces killed Osama bin Laden. The Taliban have been removed from power, but the political vacuum that will undoubtedly arise when the American forces leave next year will give them a golden opportunity to return. So what was accomplished?

   No really, I want to know. If any of you know, dear readers, please leave a comment and let the rest of us in on it.

   Putin continues by pointing out there is no accountable ruling authority and no constitution in Libya after the murder of Muammar Gaddafi, which was the result of another NATO, U.S. sponsored, limited attack.

   Civil war between religious factions still exists in Iraq. Just 3 hours ago as I write this an ABC News reported on the Internet Machine that two separate bombings, including a suicide car bomb attack, have killed two security force members and wounded 37 people in northern Iraq just this morning! I mean who would want to live in a country like that, where almost everybody has a gun, and people go around shooting other people all of the time. I certainly wouldn’t.

   Thank the Lord we live here in the good old USA!

   Not that Putin believes that Iran is actively pursuing nuclear weapons technology, but he wonders at why they may want to, with countries like the United States seeming so eager to invade other countries in the region to force it’s will upon them? I have to wonder myself. Are we in fact promoting nuclear proliferation by our foreign military adventures? We seem to be leaving North Korea, which has the bomb, pretty much to itself.

   Vladimir suggests the world, not just the United States, ceases using force to gain it’s foreign policy objectives, but return to civilized diplomacy... and crippling economic sanctions.   

   Putin goes on to admit that President Obama, by accepting his offer to intervene in Syria, has turned away from the use of force, and a new way is now open to dispose of that country’s store of deadly chemical weapons, paving the way for the Assad government and rebel forces to kill each other by conventional means, as God intended.

   Since no one, the U.S., Russia, the UN, or anyone else is suggesting a regime change take place in Syria, the continuation of the civil war is the inevitable result.

   President Putin welcomes the chance to talk and work with President Obama about Syria, bla, bla, bla.

   Personally I hope that we don’t go ahead and bomb Syria. I hope we don’t bomb anybody! I also wish the UN would do the job it was created to do and attempt to begin a dialogue between the Assad government and rebel forces to end the hostilities in a reasonable, monitored fashion, and oh yeah, while getting rid of all of those deadly chemicals, because that’s going to be a big job, which will take a long time.

   All right, now to Vlad’s last paragraph, where he managed to stick in a real zinger, the possible reason why Senator Menendez wanted to projectile vomit all over everybody, and got so many other politicians so upset. He refused to admit that the United States of America and it’s citizen’s are far superior to everybody else on the planet, simply by being the United States of America, which God loves more than anybody else.

   As a matter of fact God is an American, or at least an honorary American, or actually, if God where to come down from Heaven and enter our country illegally, we’d grant him (for God is surely a man) amnesty, and could become a naturalized citizen, and enjoy all of the benefits thereof (like getting a driver’s license, Social Security, food stamps (if the Republicans haven’t shut down the SNAP program by the time God gets here that is), on and on).  

   Putin pointed out that President Obama in his speech to the nation which can found above, made a case for American exceptionalism. Obama said American policy is “what makes America different. It’s what makes us exceptional.” Our policies like bombing other countries whenever we want to. Obama’s right of course. What other country can do that?

   Come to think of it, I guess Russia itself could get away with it if they wanted to... and China... and France... Great Britain, possibly some others. Maybe those countries are exceptional too?

   But if those other countries are exceptional too, doesn’t that mean... oh man, I’m getting a headache.

   Maybe it’s our vast immigration policy that makes us exceptional. What’s that? Oh yeah, we don’t have an immigration policy.

   Our universal health care for all of our citizens? Aaahhh no, I guess not.

   Our social safety net, like medicare and social security and food stamps? We do have those, so I’m almost positive that no one would want to diminish them in any way, or turn them over to private interests who would destroy them in the casino stock market just for gross financial gain.

   But other countries have social safety nets too! God damn it!

   Oh, sorry God.

   We pioneered the atomic bomb and the technology to destroy ourselves a thousand times over. That truly is exceptional.

   Wikipedia tells us, “American exceptionalism is the theory that the United States is "qualitatively different" from other nations. In this view, America's exceptionalism stems from its emergence from a revolution, becoming what political scientist Seymour Martin Lipset called "the first new nation" and developing a uniquely American ideology, "Americanism", based on liberty, egalitarianism, individualism, republicanism, populism and laissez-faire. This ideology itself is often referred to as "American exceptionalism."

   Although the term does not necessarily imply superiority, many neoconservative and American conservative writers have promoted its use in that sense. To them, the United States is like the biblical shining "City upon a Hill", and exempt from historical forces that have affected other countries.”

   City upon a hill... like Denver? It’s the Mile-High City right? It must be on a freaking hill or mountain of some kind. Do mountains count?

   No other countries have cities like that, I’m sure.

   Maybe Tibet.

   Jesus!

   Jesus. Oh yeah, Jesus said something about a city on a hill in his Sermon on the Mount. Matthew 5:14 (I do know my Bible) states Jesus saying “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.”

   But what the hell does that mean?

   Ooopps, sorry Jesus.

   Wikipedia tells us that the phrase is popular with American politicians. Some Puirtan guy used it in a sermon and it stuck in the American lexicon giving “ rise to the widespread belief in American folklore that the United States of America is God's country because metaphorically it is a Shining City upon a Hill, an early example of American exceptionalism.” -Wikipedia.

   John Kennedy used it. Ronald Reagan a couple of times. Well if politicians say we’re exceptional it must be true.

   America is exceptional in many ways. Our history is exceptional. Our culture is exceptional. Our Constitution is exceptional. We were the first to walk on the moon. We are the world’s largest exporter of porn and fast, unhealthy food. The United States has the worst income inequality in the developed world, that must count for something!

   But other countries are also exceptional in many ways, which averages out the “Exceptionality Coefficient Factor.”

   I believe Mr Putin’s point is that it is dangerous to encourage belief, or to believe that we are somehow better than all of the other people that inhabit this planet. I know politicians have to say stuff like that to win elections, and people like to hear that kind of stuff, but that doesn’t make it true.

   And truth is beautiful.

   That’s why I watch MSNBC instead of FOX.

   Ooouuh! Smack down, baby! Didn’t see that one coming, did ya? Ha, ha, ha!

   Am I defending President Putin above our own President and American policies? To an extent I guess I am. To the extent that Putin is right. I pointed out when he was wrong and when he was lying, but he also spoke the truth to many things and that must be recognized.

   Is he and Russia our enemy? I don’t believe so. Is he and Russia our friend? Possibly. To the extent that our friendship benefits Russia he and it are.

   At least he was not rude, or made personal attacks on our President and form of government, or openly advocated for the overthrow of our government, as Senator John McCain managed to do in his own op-ed piece which was a response to Putin’s.

   Published in Russia’s pravda.ru, an online newsletter, September 19th, McCain started out by saying he was more Russian than the Russian leadership.

   “I make that claim because I respect your dignity and your right to self-determination. I believe you should live according to the dictates of your conscience, not your government. I believe you deserve the opportunity to improve your lives in an economy that is built to last and benefits the many, not just the powerful few. You should be governed by a rule of law that is clear, consistently and impartially enforced and just. I make that claim because I believe the Russian people, no less than Americans, are endowed by our Creator with inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

   McCain seems to want to share our American version of God with the Russians (one God fits all, right?), and our Constitution. His piece is not directed to any specific issue, as was Putin’s, but just a pure critique, a bitch session if you will, directed at Putin and the Russian government. Some of his points are valid (like Putin’s use of the Russian judicial system to squash internal dissent, and his stance on homosexuality in the country), and some are not. Many of the criticisms McCain describes America is guilty of as well.

   In John’s (we’re on a first name basis) last paragraph he longs for the day when Russia is free of Putin and his regime:

   “I do believe in you. I believe in your capacity for self-government and your desire for justice and opportunity. I believe in the greatness of the Russian people, who suffered enormously and fought bravely against terrible adversity to save your nation. I believe in your right to make a civilization worthy of your dreams and sacrifices. When I criticize your government, it is not because I am anti-Russian. It is because I believe you deserve a government that believes in you and answers to you. And, I long for the day when you have it.”

   I don’t know why Senator McCain felt it necessary to respond to Putin, especially since our own State Department did not. Perhaps it’s his egomaniacal need to stay in the public limelight, who knows? I know this for sure, nothing Putin has done, the Russian government has done, or the Russian people themselves has done to damage, disparage, and traumatize their own country, than John McCain did to America by setting lose the horror that is Sarah Palin.

   Following in this sudden outbreak of op-ed mania, the newly elected President of Iran, Hassan Rouhani (who holds a degree of power in Iran about as equal to our Secretary of State. The real authority and power is held by the Supreme Leader, as it should be considering his title, and who is currently Ali Hosseini Khamene) published his own op-ed last Friday in the Washington Post.

   In it he says a lot of things, but mainly he express a new willingness to open relations with the rest of the world, which would include the United States, and which would also open the real possibility of international monitoring of Iran’s nuclear program (a desire to end economic sanctions against Iran could be a motivating force), which would be a defeat for American neoconservatives like John McCain, who would like nothing more than to “Bomb, bomb, bomb, Iran,” right now if it could be arranged, but would be a victory for the rest of the world.

   President Obama has offered to talk face to face with Rouhani on this matter. Let’s hope those talks come to fruition.

Other ways the United States is exceptional.

Don't Get Mad at Vlad 2

When We Once Worked Together

   Uuuummm, Lunch was good, so now as Ed Schultz would say if he were here, let’s get to work.

   The first paragraph of Vladimir Putin’s September 11th New York Times op-ed points out a possible “time of insufficient communication between our societies.” This may be true... it probably is true. Putin doesn’t offer any remedies for this situation, and greater communications between our two societies would more than likely be a beneficial thing for the world as a whole, but maybe not for the individual governments who historically have desired a measure of control over the amount of interaction our two societies share. Yet considering both countries still control approximately 3,134 tactical and strategic nuclear weapons (Russia: Approximately 1,480 deployed strategic warheads; the U.S. 1,654 strategic nuclear warheads, according to the Federation of American Scientists, and these are just the ones that are deployed. In contrast China deploys about 240, France 300, the United Kingdom fewer than 160. India’s got up to 100 nuclear warheads, Israel, Between 75 to 200, Pakistan, between 90 to 110, and North Korea has separated enough plutonium for roughly 4-8 nuclear warheads, but hasn’t had much success with deployment vehicles) it might be a good idea to keep amicable relations between ourselves (You think!).

   Not to get off subject (which I never, ever do) but I must mention the U.S. and Russian arsenals are not getting any younger, and as they age our ability to sufficiently maintain them diminishes, and carries a huge annual price tag. See the last chapter of Rachel Maddow’s “Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power,” entitled “An $8 Trillion Fungus Among Us,” for a closer examination of this very issue (“US Air Force came dramatically close to detonating an atom bomb over North Carolina”).

   The second paragraph rekindles fond kumbaya memories of when the United States’ and Soviet Union’s  Armed forces united to hasten the defeat of Nazi Germany, our common enemy, at the end of  the European conflict in World War II, and that we came together once again to form the United Nations in 1945. Of course it first mentions that our two nation’s have been fairly hostile to each other ever since, building the huge nuclear arsenal that if used was capable of destroying all life on the planet several hundred times over during the Cold War (not to mention a little phenomena called Nuclear winter). But in the spirit of unwarranted benevolence we won’t go into that at this particular juncture.

   “The United Nations (UN; French: Organisation des Nations Unies, ONU) is an intergovernmental organization whose stated aims include promoting and facilitating cooperation in international law, international security, economic development, social progress, human rights, civil rights, civil liberties, political freedoms, democracy, and the achievement of lasting world peace. The UN was founded in 1945 after World War II to replace the League of Nations, to stop wars between countries, and to provide a platform for dialogue.” -Wikipedia

   And as far as certain UN activities, such as the maintenance of international peace and security, the establishment of peacekeeping operations, the establishment of international sanctions, and the authorization of military action are concerned, the UN is dominated by the five nation, veto-wielding permanent members of the United Nations Security Council, the United States, Russia, China, France, and the United Kingdom. How did these nations get such powerful positions on a permanent basis. Because they were the major victors after World War II, and they all had, or have nuclear bombs, so they gave it to themselves and absolutely no one can take it away from them.

   Putin’s third paragraph sings the praises of this very situation in the Security Counsel, which has stabilized international relations “for decades,” which of course is completely false (unless what one means by “stabilizing” is allowing only international military conflicts to persist that they condone (some of our moron friends on the right claim that President Obama is a traitor due to the fact that he has turned the “sovereignty of  the U.S. over to the communist controlled United Nations.” Since there are only 5 remaining communist countries in the world (China, Cuba, Laos, North Korea, and Vietnam) out of 196 it would seem that either communism enjoys a disproportionate amount of influence in the UN, or our right wing friends are indeed morons)).

   I’m sure we all remember the League of Nations, which was created after World War I for much of the same reasons as the UN was created after WWII. Yet the League of Nations failed to prevent WWII from beginning and thus was effectively dissolved.

   Putin continues by bringing up the possibility the the UN might collapse as well if member nations bypass Security Council authorization when contemplating military actions, much like the United States has recently done by contemplating missile strikes into Syria for it’s government’s supposed use of chemical weapons against it’s own people.

   President Putin knows that President Obama has pretty much painted himself into a military corner by stating previously that if Syria used chemical weapons against it’s own people (or anyone else for that matter), the U.S. would respond in an appropriate manner. The only manner the U.S. could respond to Syria in this type of situation would be militarily, as sanctions or embargoes or whatever would have little immediate effect. President Putin also knows that the United States would never seek permission by the UN Security Council because the United States knows that Russia would veto such an action, because Russia and Syria are economic and strategic partners (Russia has a navel base in the Syrian city of Tartus, which provides it with easy access to the Mediterranean Sea).

   Putin goes on by assuming that if the United States did take military action in Syria the already unstable region would deteriorate further, perhaps beyond Syria’s borders, kill more innocent victims, including children Obama seems to be especially concerned about (his concern seems to be selective as the death of innocent women and children in Pakistan and Afghanistan by drones doesn’t seem to bother him) increase terrorism, decrease the chances of resolving the supposed Iranian nuclear problem (international intelligence estimates of Iran’s nuclear weapon ambitions have not convinced me and others that Iran is doing anything other than what it says it’s doing, developing nuclear power for peaceful domestic energy and medical purposes. Trigger happy nations, like our own, have been known to fabricate evidence before, such as that which led to the invasion of Iraq), and be illegal.

   Putin points out that by helping President Assad’s opposition, by supplying them with arms, the U.S. is also helping known terrorist organizations, like Al-Qaeda,  Jabhat al-Nusra, and others, who will undoubtedly gain valued experience in Syria to be exported to other countries in the future.

   In the next paragraph Vlad states that his only interest in helping Syria is to protect the law... international law, that Obama would be breaking by not seeking a UN resolution before attacking. “The law is still the law, and we must follow it whether we like it or not,” he states. This is pure crap, and Putin knows it. No head of state actually believes they have to follow the law, or at least to the extent that they can successfully get away with breaking it. Even George W. Bush got congressional and UN approval before he invaded Iraq (of course he illegally cooked the intelligence that persuaded those two entities to allow him to do so). And Russia gives it’s leadership much more leeway in which laws it chooses to enforce than the U.S. The only true statement in this paragraph is that it would be an act of aggression if the United States attacked Syria.

   But it would be an act of aggression if the attack were sanctioned or not.

   The next point Putin makes did provide some points of contention here in the U.S. He admits that chemical agents were used offensively in Syria, but not by Assad’s regime, rather the opposition forces used them in order to get nation’s like ours to help them out.

   Well we were already helping them, and we help them still. And one would have to believe that these opposition forces would be willing to use these agents against their own people (or at least civilians) in order to carry this out.

   That certainly wouldn’t be unheard of, but Syria has now admitted to possessing chemical weapons and the means of deploying them. It is unlikely the opposition forces have these weapons.

   The reason we know Syria has chemical weapons is because they said they did. It was widely believed they had them, but Syria never admitted it until just recently, after Secretary of State John Kerry answered a hypothetical question September 9th in London while trying to make a strong case for attacking Syria. He was asked was there anything Syria, or the Assad regime could do to avoid such an attack? Kerry said Assad might avoid an attack if he handed over every bit of his chemical weapons stock to the international community, but added that the Syrian president was not going to do that.

   I think Kerry was sorry he made that statement as it seemed he really, really wanted to attack Syria.

   Well guess what? Putin immediately saw a way to outmaneuver Kerry, and took him up on his offer. He used his considerable influence on Assad and persuaded him to give up the chemicals! He called Kerry’s bluff, which gave Obama a way out of this mess he had gotten himself into (first he tried throwing the ball to Congress which is notoriously known for not wanting to catch balls. The President said he would seek Congressional approval before staging an attack. Putin’s offer  got Obama and Congress off the hook). One of the demands Kerry (acting for the U.S.) made on Assad was that he hand over a complete list of all of the chemical weapons Syria possessed by the 20th, yesterday. I think much to Kerry’s annoyance Assad did just that.

   But Putin’s letter to America appeared way before that.

   The Poot (I like to call Vladimir the Poot) went on to talk about how often the United States likes to invade other countries with military force. And we do like to do that. We did it in Korea. We did it in Vietnam. We did it in Grenada. We did it in Panama (forgot about that one didn’t you?). And we’ve done it in Afghanistan and in Iraq twice! We do it all of the freaking time!

   It’s good for business. We hope it doesn’t cost any American soldiers their lives, but if that’s what it takes for Halliburton, and Lockheed, and General Dynamics, and companies like them to make a few more billion a year to ship offshore tax free, than that’s what it takes.

   This is when Putin uses Bush’s “you’re either with us or against us,” line that Stephie was so worked up about. How the U.S. forces other countries to let us do whatever it is we want to do by forcing coalitions together by using that line, giving the United States the appearance of not acting unilaterally in it’s misdeeds.

   We’ve got a lot more to cover, so tomorrow (really) we’ll finish up with Putin’s ode to the USA, how Senator John McCain (that old warhorse) responded to it, and new developments with the newly elected President of Iran, of all people.

   He wants to talk to our President.

   As if Obama didn’t have enough to worry about (look at all of that grey hair).

Don't Get Mad at Vlad!

“An op-ed, abbreviated from opposite the editorial page (though often mistaken for opinion-editorial), is a newspaper article that expresses the opinions of a named writer who is usually unaffiliated with the newspaper's editorial board. These are different from editorials (which are usually unsigned and written by editorial board members) and letters to the editor (which are submitted by readers of the journal or newspaper).”

-Wikipedia

Stephen Colbert & Vlad the Impaler

   “I was at dinner,” New Jersey Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez said on CNN after he read Vlad’s op-ed. “And I almost wanted to vomit.”

   “I was insulted,” House Speaker John Boehner told reporters on Thursday morning. “I’ve probably already said more than I should have said, but you’ve got the truth.”

   Arizona Republican Sen. John McCain called Vlad's piece an “insult to the intelligence of every American.”

   What got these staunch American politicians (and a whole bunch of others, politicians or otherwise) all riled up was an op-ed piece in the New York Times last Wednesday, not by Vlad Drăculeşti III, Prince of Wallachia who is famous for having  tens of thousands of his enemies impaled in 15th century Transylvania (now a part of Romania), and the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s vampire creation, “Dracula,” as one might expect, but that of the other Vlad, Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, the current President of the Russian Federation, which used to be our old Cold War enemy, the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, or the U.S.S.R., a country made  famous for coldness, vastness, perverted communism, nuclear missiles, and a Beatles song.

   My very own Stephanie Miller (I hereby declare ownership rights) of “The Stephanie Miller Radio Show and BeanFest,” spent a good deal of Thursday morning’s show devoted to deriding the piece, along with her two “Mook” cohorts, mistakingly singling out the excluded middle argument (#15 in Dr. Carl Sagan’s list of common fallacies of logic and rhetoric) attributed to President George W. Bush, and cited in the piece, “you’re either with us or against us.” I believe she thought that Putin was getting his presidents confused, when I believe he was attempting to illustrate the continuation of Bush era policies into those of Obama’s.

   The op-ed easily dominated yesterday’s 24 hr news cycle, with media pundits if not voicing an opinion themselves, clearly reporting those in positions of power in politics (except for Stephie of course). Host of MSNBC’s “All In,” the pristine Chris Hayes took the trouble to group these responses all together and give them the encompassing title “America’s reaction.” Fortunately his guest, the lovely Russian-American journalist and blogger Julia Ioffe pointed out that the various social networks were perhaps a much better indicator of the majority of American’s feelings.

   I make it a policy never to argue with lovely women, so I checked myself and found some examples of what Julia was talking about in the “Comments,” section of Putin’s piece itself. Here are a few taken at random:

   From Anubis

“The lawmakers should be throwing up on an hourly basis reading about their own behavior because they are mediocre at best.”

   From romolo

“Putin insulted the politicians? I think there are millions of US citizens that view the gang in Washington with scorn.”

   From Get Real!

“Now on display, whining two year olds are running the country.”

   From Steve

“I am not surprised that our lawmakers were "upset" by the article. It hurts to hear the truth about yourself!”

   And from Patriot

“If our "leaders" are so insulted, then why-oh-why have they acted like utter idiots that made America look ridiculous and Putin/Russia look so good? They, our "leaders," make me want to vomit.”

   Ouuch!

   In case you were wondering this is what all of the brouhaha is all about

A Plea for Caution from Russia

MOSCOW — RECENT events surrounding Syria have prompted me to speak directly to the American people and their political leaders. It is important to do so at a time of insufficient communication between our societies.

Relations between us have passed through different stages. We stood against each other during the cold war. But we were also allies once, and defeated the Nazis together. The universal international organization — the United Nations — was then established to prevent such devastation from ever happening again.

The United Nations’ founders understood that decisions affecting war and peace should happen only by consensus, and with America’s consent the veto by Security Council permanent members was enshrined in the United Nations Charter. The profound wisdom of this has underpinned the stability of international relations for decades.

No one wants the United Nations to suffer the fate of the League of Nations, which collapsed because it lacked real leverage. This is possible if influential countries bypass the United Nations and take military action without Security Council authorization.

The potential strike by the United States against Syria, despite strong opposition from many countries and major political and religious leaders, including the pope, will result in more innocent victims and escalation, potentially spreading the conflict far beyond Syria’s borders. A strike would increase violence and unleash a new wave of terrorism. It could undermine multilateral efforts to resolve the Iranian nuclear problem and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and further destabilize the Middle East and North Africa. It could throw the entire system of international law and order out of balance.

Syria is not witnessing a battle for democracy, but an armed conflict between government and opposition in a multireligious country. There are few champions of democracy in Syria. But there are more than enough Qaeda fighters and extremists of all stripes battling the government. The United States State Department has designated Al Nusra Front and the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, fighting with the opposition, as terrorist organizations. This internal conflict, fueled by foreign weapons supplied to the opposition, is one of the bloodiest in the world.

Mercenaries from Arab countries fighting there, and hundreds of militants from Western countries and even Russia, are an issue of our deep concern. Might they not return to our countries with experience acquired in Syria? After all, after fighting in Libya, extremists moved on to Mali. This threatens us all.

From the outset, Russia has advocated peaceful dialogue enabling Syrians to develop a compromise plan for their own future. We are not protecting the Syrian government, but international law. We need to use the United Nations Security Council and believe that preserving law and order in today’s complex and turbulent world is one of the few ways to keep international relations from sliding into chaos. The law is still the law, and we must follow it whether we like it or not. Under current international law, force is permitted only in self-defense or by the decision of the Security Council. Anything else is unacceptable under the United Nations Charter and would constitute an act of aggression.

No one doubts that poison gas was used in Syria. But there is every reason to believe it was used not by the Syrian Army, but by opposition forces, to provoke intervention by their powerful foreign patrons, who would be siding with the fundamentalists. Reports that militants are preparing another attack — this time against Israel — cannot be ignored.   **

It is alarming that military intervention in internal conflicts in foreign countries has become commonplace for the United States. Is it in America’s long-term interest? I doubt it. Millions around the world increasingly see America not as a model of democracy but as relying solely on brute force, cobbling coalitions together under the slogan “you’re either with us or against us.”

But force has proved ineffective and pointless. Afghanistan is reeling, and no one can say what will happen after international forces withdraw. Libya is divided into tribes and clans. In Iraq the civil war continues, with dozens killed each day. In the United States, many draw an analogy between Iraq and Syria, and ask why their government would want to repeat recent mistakes.

No matter how targeted the strikes or how sophisticated the weapons, civilian casualties are inevitable, including the elderly and children, whom the strikes are meant to protect.

The world reacts by asking: if you cannot count on international law, then you must find other ways to ensure your security. Thus a growing number of countries seek to acquire weapons of mass destruction. This is logical: if you have the bomb, no one will touch you. We are left with talk of the need to strengthen nonproliferation, when in reality this is being eroded.

We must stop using the language of force and return to the path of civilized diplomatic and political settlement.

A new opportunity to avoid military action has emerged in the past few days. The United States, Russia and all members of the international community must take advantage of the Syrian government’s willingness to place its chemical arsenal under international control for subsequent destruction. Judging by the statements of President Obama, the United States sees this as an alternative to military action.

I welcome the president’s interest in continuing the dialogue with Russia on Syria. We must work together to keep this hope alive, as we agreed to at the Group of 8 meeting in Lough Erne in Northern Ireland in June, and steer the discussion back toward negotiations.

If we can avoid force against Syria, this will improve the atmosphere in international affairs and strengthen mutual trust. It will be our shared success and open the door to cooperation on other critical issues.

My working and personal relationship with President Obama is marked by growing trust. I appreciate this. I carefully studied his address to the nation on Tuesday. And I would rather disagree with a case he made on American exceptionalism, stating that the United States’ policy is “what makes America different. It’s what makes us exceptional.” It is extremely dangerous to encourage people to see themselves as exceptional, whatever the motivation. There are big countries and small countries, rich and poor, those with long democratic traditions and those still finding their way to democracy. Their policies differ, too. We are all different, but when we ask for the Lord’s blessings, we must not forget that God created us equal.

Vladimir V. Putin is the president of Russia.

   Okay, so what’s the problem? Let’s examine the above in detail, shall we? Just you and me.

But we’ll wait until tomorrow. I’m going to go fix lunch now...

Vegetable Ragout with Pesto (Ragoût de Légumes au Pistou) and cheesy grits.

Labor Day

“The good news this Labor Day: Jobs are returning. The bad news this Labor Day: Most of them pay lousy wages and low if non-existent benefits.” -Robert Reich, Former Secretary of Labor under Bill Clinton

Labor Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September, that celebrates the economic and social contributions of workers. It was first nationally recognized in 1894 to placate unionists following the Pullman Strike. With the decline in union membership, the holiday is generally viewed as a time for barbeques and the end of summer vacations. -Wikipedia

Labor unions are legally recognized as representatives of workers in many industries in the United States. Their activity today centers on collective bargaining over wages, benefits, and working conditions for their membership, and on representing their members in disputes with management over violations of contract provisions. Larger unions also typically engage in lobbying activities and electioneering at the state and federal level. -Wikipedia

Robert Reich’s Labor Day message

His Petition

  

   You see that first picture above? The one that says “Labor Day,” with the four flags. It looks pretty patriotic doesn’t it?

   You can even find pictures of naked ladies with the American flag strategically draped over them denoting that Labor Day is a very American and an important holiday, although one has to wonder exactly what kind of labor they’re advocating for.

   Don’t you believe it. Most politicians wouldn’t mind seeing labor unions go the way of the dinosaurs, including those that live in the White House. Republicans traditionally resent labor unions and do what they can to curb their influence. The right wing media, what some like to call the Republican Noise Machine, villainize unions and their members as parasites upon society, and unfortunately those who listen to their dribble, having no minds of their own, tend to carry on and live with that idea as if it were their own, and resent those being represented by labor, who might make a decent living and enjoy pensions and health benefits, as overpaid and unnecessary burdens placed upon the rest of the country.

   Unless of course they happen to be members of unions themselves.

   Democrats are traditionally seen as pro-union, pro-labor, and have indeed benefited by receiving major campaign contributions from said unions as a result, which is another reason the Republicans hate them... unions that is (they hate Democrats too).

   I was a member of a union at one time. The Communication Workers of America,  representing about 550,000 members in both the private and public sectors. I didn’t have a whole lot of exposure to it, and my pay was hourly and not expansive, and I don’t recall how much the dues were, but it did help me by making it difficult for AT&T (I was working as a long distance operator at the time. Hey, guess what, most long distance operators have been replaced these days by machines... how wonderful... for the machines) management to fire me when I eventually relapsed on several occasions and was absent from work for extended periods of time. And my health benefits, which the union promoted and protected, allowed me to enter some nice hospital recovery programs I wouldn’t have otherwise been able to afford.

   Being in that union was also psychologically beneficial, knowing I had a whole bunch of people whose only job it was to look out for my interests. I had worked too many jobs where that wasn’t the case, and the boss could fire me at their whim, for any reason, or none at all.

   Unions tend to even out the power structure of the working place.

   Lately, as the second paragraph above suggests, unions have been in decline in this country. “With the decline in union membership, the holiday is generally viewed as a time for barbeques and the end of summer vacations.” Wow, what a sad declaration. A day set aside to celebrate the average worker's contribution to the country to one that designates it’s a good time to cook some hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill, or maybe get that vacation to Ogallala, Nebraska in before autumn comes and the falling leaves begin to blanket the roads.

   Labor unions and the laborers that make them up originally proposed the idea of a national holiday devoted to labor. A machinist, Matthew Maguire, while serving as secretary of the CLU (Central Labor Union) of New York, proposed the idea in 1882, way before my time... or even yours (others say it was Peter J. McGuire of the AFL (American Federation of Labor) that same year, after attending a “labor festival” in Canada. I have no idea who was actually first, so we’ll let the two duke it out amongst themselves). However, it was the states who took up the idea way before the federal government got on board.  The first state bill was introduced into the New York legislature, but the first to become law was passed by Oregon on February 21st, 1887. During the next year four more, the states Colorado, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and New York created a Labor Day holiday by legislative enactment. By 1894, 30 states had adopted the holiday.

   And that was the year that Congress passed legislation that made Labor Day a national holiday, 1894, and the President at the time, one Grover Cleveland (no relation to the city. He is the only president to serve two non-consecutive terms (1885–1889 and 1893–1897)), who was definitely pro-business. A Democrat, as a matter of fact a Bourbon Democrat (a Democrat who only drinks whiskey made of a grain mix of at least 51% corn), who opposed high tariffs, Free Silver, inflation, imperialism and subsidies to business, farmers or veterans. Today’s Tea Baggers would have loved him (although when a “Railroad Bubble” burst at the beginning of his second term, causing a national depression he was unable to alleviate, allowed the Republicans to dominate the government which ironically ushered in the “Progressive Era,” a period of social activism and political reform that flourished until the 1920s).

   Grover signed Labor Day into law more than likely as a political sop to the existing labor organizations and unions due to his intervention in the Pullman Strike (second picture above), in which thousands of United States Marshals and some 12,000 United States Army troops intervened in a strike by workers of  the Pullman Palace Car Company, which made railroad cars, causing the death of 30 strikers,  and wounding 57 others. He signed it into law just six days after the strike ended.

   In 1987 President Cleveland opted to celebrate the new national holiday in September, as the unions favored, rather than on May 1st, which was synonymous with, or linked to, International Workers' Day, which celebrated labor forces internationally, but was also linked with the nascent Communist, Syndicalist and Anarchist movements of the day.

   For a time unions flourished and fought for the rights of all workers, whether unionized or not.

   In 1938, in the midst of the “Great Depression,” Franklin Delano Roosevelt signed the Fair Labor Standards Act into law, which introduced a maximum 44-hour seven-day workweek (the United States Adamson Act in 1916 established an eight-hour day, with additional pay for overtime, for railroad workers. This was the first federal law that regulated the hours of workers in private companies. The United States Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of the Act in Wilson v. New, 243 U.S. 332 (1917). The Fair Labor Standards Act, as enacted applied to industries whose combined employment represented about twenty percent of the U.S. labor force. In those industries, it set the maximum workweek at 40 hours, but provided that employees working beyond 40 hours a week would receive additional overtime bonus salaries), established a national minimum wage, guaranteed "time-and-a-half" for overtime in certain jobs, and prohibited most employment of minors in "oppressive child labor,"  all in the face of considerable opposition and criticism from large business interests.
   Despite projections to the contrary, the Sun still shines, the world still exists, and the country somehow survived.

   This is one reason today’s right wing, and modern conservatives hate FDR and everything he stood for (Rush Limbaugh: "Roosevelt is dead. His policies may live on, but we're in the process of doing something about that as well."), and wish to repeal all of his legislative efforts (as Gomer Pyle would calmly exclaim, “Surprise, surprise!” The House Republicans have passed a bill that would end the 40-hour work week (it would be nice if we could get Congress to actually work 40 hours a week), dismantling an important component of the Federal Labor Standards Act, which made into law would hurt middle-class families across the country. Sponsored by Rep. Martha Roby (AL), the dubiously-titled “Working Families Flexibility Act” (H.R. 1406) would remove the requirement that employers pay a cash premium for overtime work and instead allow them to offer employees compensatory time off. The effect would be a Federal Labor Standards Act that is undermined of its only incentive against excessive hours and a cheaper way for employers to demand mandatory overtime. Eileen Appelbaum, a senior economist with the Center for Economic Policy and Research, says the bill’s major effect would be to hurt workers, “likely increasing overtime hours for those who don’t want them and cutting pay for those who do.” The Bill was passed in the House May 08, 2013, and sent to the Senate where it will more than likely die and excruciating and ignoble death. Repealing Child Labor Laws are also on the Republican agenda).

   So what’s been going on with unions lately? You may have heard or seen something on the television machine concerning workers at, oh let’s say Walmart, and fast food franchises. We’ll discuss this next time.

To be continued