Thursday, July 17, 2014

Ebola









Ebola




Picture Legend:

1. The Ebola Virus
2. Earwig
3. Bacteria
4. 2014 Outbreak
5. Chart
6. Medina Market, Conakry, Guinea
7. Fruit bat


   Have you ever had the measles or the flu? I have, I think both diseases... plus chicken pox. It sucked. 
   All three of these diseases are viral in nature. So is smallpox, lassa fever, Rift Valley fever, Crimean–Congo hemorrhagic fever, marburg, andromeda strain, dengue fever, yellow fever, tick-borne encephalitis, omsk hemorrhagic Fever, Kyasanur forest disease, acute febrile pharyngitis pharyngoconjunctival fever, epidemic keratoconjunctivitis, infantile gastroenteritis, coxsackie infections, infectious mononucleosis, some forms of hepatitis, herpes, AIDS, mumps, croup, the common cold, polio, rabies, and whatever has reanimated  Dick Cheney, and infected Sarah Palin with some form retro encephalitis, that shrinks the brain rather than making it swell. 
   That’s a lot of misery and death that these little bastards have inflicted upon humanity, and I’m not only talking about Cheney and Palin.
   To make bad matters worse, unlike Dick and Sarah, viruses believe in, and mutate according to the laws of natural selection, vis a vis, evolution.  
   And they do it real fast. 
   Other diseases are caused by bacteria (anthrax, tuberculosis, the bubonic plague, leprosy, cellulitis, etc.) and other organisms (malaria, dientamoebiasis, scabies, conservatism, etc.), but they’re way bigger and more complex structurally than viruses.
   So what? What is a virus, and why do we care?
   Well I’ve been researching the subject a little bit, and I’m glad you asked.
    Let’s start out with the largest disease causing agents first and work our way down. 
   Conservatism, caused by the common Forficula auricularia, or earwig, as it enters the human ear, laying it’s eggs within the brain (a significant variant of conservatism, teapartius  absurdism, manifests itself when all of these eggs hatch, and begin to eat their way out). This insect is huge (usually about 0.28–1.97 inches long) compared to your average bacterium (an average-size bacterium, such as the rod-shaped Escherichia coli, a normal inhabitant of the intestinal tract of humans and animals, is about 2  micrometers (1 micrometer equals 1 millionth of a meter) long and 0.5 micrometers in diameter, and the spherical cells of Staphylococcus aureus are up to 1 micrometer in diameter). Your average size virus ranges in size from 20 to 250 nanometers (1 nanometer equals 1 billionth of a meter), which is a whole magnitude of of order of smallerness compared to a bacterium.    
   Bactria are cellular living entities. They own a cell wall and a nucleus. It has ribosomes (protein factories), and a little tail (flagellum) so it can get from place to place. Most bacteria are not harmful to humans, and quite a few are beneficial, and some we couldn’t do without.
   Stand up dear readers, and find a mirror. Look at yourself. Smile.
   What you are seeing is an aggregate of anywhere from 15 to 70 trillion cells (some have more cells than others) all stuck together (they become less “stuck" as you get older, believe me) smiling back and impersonating you, give or take a few trill. 15 to 70 trillion! That’s a heck of a lot of anything, let alone cells. 
   Now think about this... there are about ten times more bacteria inside you right now than there are cells (we counted).  
   This aggregate of bacteria is called your personal microbiome (pronounced: micro-bio-me). Your personal microbiome can prevent infections and produce stuff that our bodies needs, like vitamin K (and you thought snorting antibacterial soap during your college years was such a blast).
   There are about 1000 to 2000 different types of bacteria inside you right now, and on your skin.       
   And most importantly, we wouldn’t have cheese if it were not for bacteria. Or beer, or yogurt, or pickles!
   So some bacterium are a good thing... except for those which cause tuberculosis, the bubonic plague, leprosy, and cellulitis.    
   Viruses on the other hand, are a whole different matter. They don’t bother with any of the crap that bacteria rely on.  They openly excoriate cell walls and nucleuses. They scorn ribosomes, and chuckle to themselves over flagellums. 
   Some say they may not even be alive! 
   “It’s alive!” -Victor Frankenstein
   Really?
   Life is often defined as any entity that exhibits all or most of the following physiological functions:
   Homeostasis: which relates to the internal environment of an entity to self regulate in order to maintain a constant state, like sweating or panting to maintain a suitable body temperature. 
   Organization: being made of cells.
   Metabolism: which is the ability to transform forms of energy by converting chemicals and energy into cellular components (anabolism) and decomposing organic matter (catabolism). Living things require energy to maintain internal organization (homeostasis) and to do other things, like move around and reproduce.
   The ability grow in a stable manner: with all parts of the organicism growing at the same rate.
   The ability to adapt: to change over time in response to the environment. This ability is fundamental to the process of evolution and is determined by the organism's heredity, diet, and external factors, like climate change.
   Response to stimuli: which can take a variety of forms, from the ability of plants and flowers to turn themselves toward the Sun (phototropism), to the ability of a troop of girl scouts running from an advancing polar bear.
  And finally reproduction: The ability to produce new individual organisms, either asexually from a single parent organism, or sexually from two parent organisms, which humans do all of the time... probably more than we should. 
   These traits or functions, have underlying physical and chemical bases, as well as signaling and control mechanisms that are essential to maintaining what we like to call life.
   Some say, and I don’t know who, that the definition of life can be simplified by saying all living organism eat, excrete, grow, move, process food into energy, react to stimuli, and reproduce, which is pretty much what we discovered above. 
   Viruses exist in abundance without displaying most of the functions mentioned above. They do replicate, or reproduce, but require a “host cell” in order to do so, because viruses do not utilize cells, which is one of the requirements mentioned above. They also adapt to changing conditions through the process of natural selection, which is one of the components of Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution. 
   But they don’t eat, or metabolize. All viruses do is invade cells of other organisms, even bacteria, reproduce, and mutate. And mutation is not necessarily a good thing for us humans. 
   So those same some people say that viruses are replicants rather than examples of living organisms, or metabolically inert, infectious agents that replicate only within the cells of living hosts, mainly bacteria, plants, and animals, and are composed of a RNA (ribonucleic acid) and DNA (deoxyribonucleic acid) core, a protein coat, and, in some complex types, a surrounding envelope.
   Viral infections in humans and other animals are harder to treat than bacterial infections because the viruses live within the cell, and are protected by the cell wall from medicines that move through the bloodstream. Antibiotics like amoxicillin and tetracycline don’t work on viruses because viruses aren’t bacteria, which these drugs do work on (to a degree. The adaptation characteristic of bacteria (as well as viruses) pretty much dictate that bacteria will become resistant to antibiotic drugs in time through the process of natural selection, making them harder to treat effectively), that’s why they’re called “antibiotics” rather than “antivirals.”
   The flu, or  influenza, is caused by a highly contagious virus that affects the lungs and airways, what we often call the respiratory system. The virus infects it’s host by inhaling microscopic airborne droplets that are produced when another infected person talks, coughs, sneezes, or projectile vomits. The influenza virus can also survive for a short-time on surfaces, like toilet seats, so can be picked up if a person touches an infected surface and then rubs their nose or eyes. When the virus enters the body it invades cells in the airways, where it reproduces to form lots of new copies of itself.
   The new copies of the virus leave the first cells and move on to infect other cells nearby, where the process is repeated. After a couple of days enough cells have been infected that the infected individual feels flu symptoms such as headache, fever and general aches and pains. These continue for about a week until the body's immune system neutralizes the virus.
   The Human Immunodeficiency Virus, or HIV, which results in the Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome, or AIDS, has been so lethal to humans since it first manifested itself in the early 1980s (FYI: genetic research indicates that HIV originated in west-central Africa during the late nineteenth or early twentieth century) because it attacks the human immune system, the very system designed through evolution to combat viral infections. With a suppressed immune system death from AIDS does not result from the viral infection itself, but from opportunistic diseases (such as Kaposi's sarcoma, Burkitt's lymphoma, primary central nervous system lymphoma, and cervical cancer) which may be caused by bacteria, other viruses, fungi and parasites that are normally controlled by the immune system.
   The first HIV drug, AZT, belonged to a class of drugs known as nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors (NRTIs). NRTIs inhibit the protein that allows HIV to reproduce its genetic material, which is essential for viral replication, and thus inhibiting further infection. Other classes of drugs involve non-nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitors, protease inhibitors, entry or fusion inhibitors, and integrase inhibitors. 
   Modern antiretroviral therapies  involve the use of combinations of these different drugs to achieve a multi-pronged attack on HIV. The virus can develop resistance to certain drugs, thus a wide and growing arsenal of antiretroviral drugs is crucial, and has taken quite a while to develop.
   Still, there is no cure as of yet for AIDS. For now, it can only be treated and maintained. 
   The good news is that most viral infections do not attack the immune system, allowing our bodies to to recover of it’s own volition, usually within a few weeks. 
   The bad news is that some viruses kill us before the immune system can do it’s job... like ebola (ironically the speed in which ebola can kill a victim limits the viruses ability to spread to a significant portion of the population... or I should say, it has so far).
   The ebola virus has been with for a long time. Originating in Africa (as did humans, for that matter), fossils of filoviruses (the taxonomic home of several related viruses that form filamentous virions. Two members of that family are commonly known as the ebola and marburg viruses)  found in mammals indicate that the family itself is at least tens of millions of years old.
   Ebola virus disease (EVD) or Ebola hemorrhagic fever (EHF) is the human disease caused by ebola viruses. Symptoms start about two days to three weeks after contracting the virus with  fever, throat, muscle pains, and headaches. Then one can look forward to nausea, vomiting and diarrhea along with decreased functioning of the liver and kidneys. At this point some people begin to have problems with a little bleeding.
   The first documented outbreak of Ebola Hemorrhagic (associated with hemorrhages, or bleeding) Fever, occurred in 1976 in the county of Zaire (officially the Democratic Republic of Congo), which affected 318 people, killing 288 of them, resulting in a fatality rate of 88%. The disease was spread by close personal contact with other infected people, and by the use of contaminated needles and syringes in hospitals/clinics. This is when ebola was first recognized as a distinct disease.
   So what’s the big deal? 288 people aren’t that many. Why has ebola gained such a nasty rep? 
   The answer to that is the 88% fatality rate, which means that a little more than 4 out of 5 people, at least during this 1976 outbreak, died due to their contracting the disease. 
   How did the outbreak end? For the 30 infected individuals who did not succumb to the illness, their immune systems were able to successfully defeat the disease. And measures to contain the area of infection (quarantine) were also apparently successful. 
   Still, you point out,  and quite rightly, the 1918 flu pandemic (January 1918 – December 1920) which involved the H1N1 influenza virus,  infected 500 million people across the world, and killed 50 to 100 million of them—three to five percent of the world's population. Why don’t I worry more about the flu rather than ebola, which after all is restricted to Africa. 
   The answer is obvious. The flu outbreak of 1918 infected a huge number of people most probably due to technological advances in the availability of transportation.  Modernized transportation systems made it easier for soldiers, sailors, and civilian travelers to spread the disease. The close quarters and massive troop movements of World War I hastened the pandemic and probably both increased transmission and augmented mutation of the virus. The war may also have increased the lethality of the virus, by compromising the immune systems of soldiers who were were weakened by malnourishment, as well as the stresses of combat and those pesky chemical attacks (Adolf Hitler was a victim of a mustard gas attack during World War I. Too bad it was a weak batch), which further increased their susceptibility.
   However, 50 to 100 million affected people died out of 500 million. That’s 1/2 to 1 people in 5, or 1 to 2 in 10. Compare that to ebola’s 4 out of 5, or 8.8 out of 10 rate of fatality. Then imagine this disease subjected to the same forces of modern transportation availability, in other words, ebola spread throughout the world (later outbreaks utilizing better treatment regimens have lowered the fatality rate to approximately 50 to 65%, which of course is still huge). 
   And no, ebola is not restricted to Africa. 
   There is no magic invisible force field  that stops the ebola virus from leaving the borders of Africa. 
   Even my good friend, Steve Kornacki, of MSNBC, who while filling in for the resting Rachel Maddow Tuesday night made this mistake when reporting on a story concerning the Central  American refugee difficulties we’re currently experiencing on our southern borders. In his report he focused on  Rep. Phil Gingrey of Georgia, who claims to be an M.D., and who wrote to the Center for Disease Control to warn them there were reports, to his staff, from boarder patrol agents (unnamed of course), that "Reports of illegal immigrants carrying deadly diseases such as swine flu, dengue fever, Ebola virus and tuberculosis are particularly concerning," Gingrey wrote. "Many of the children who are coming across the border also lack basic vaccinations such as those to prevent chicken pox or measles." 
   He continued, “We cannot afford to wait for this to become a full-blown health crisis. As a physician for more than 30 years, I know that these diseases pose great danger to our citizens and can spread too rapidly to control. Our leaders must act swiftly to get ahead of this threat before it gets out of hand, and give the American people the information they deserve on the dangers it poses to their health.”
   Well, well, well, sounds bad doesn’t it? And it supposed to sound bad, I guess in order to stir up his republican base, and hide the fact that, 1: these refugees are coming from countries were our failed war on drugs promoted the political and criminal atmosphere these people are fleeing from, 2: they are not illegal immigrants, they are people, a great percentage children, who surrender to authorities the moment they cross our boarder, and seek asylum, and 3: hide the fact that republicans have done nothing concerning immigration reform. 
   There are only a few things that bother me about Rep Gingrey’s claims. As we mentioned above, ebola originates in Africa. Central and South America, where these refugees come from, is not Africa. South America looks sort of like Africa, but they are decidedly different. 
   Swine flu is out of season. It begins as early as October and continues sometimes until May. 
   Like malaria, dengue fever is transmitted by  mosquitoes, not refugee children. 
   Tuberculosis affects about 5 to 10% of the population already within the United States. 
   And when it comes to measles or chickenpox, children in Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras are more likely to be vaccinated than children in the United States (hopefully, the Affordable Care Act, which Rep Gingrey opposed, will help to alleviate this problem). None of those countries have recorded an outbreak of measles in twenty four years. Kids in Orange County are more at risk.
   Oh, by the way, Gingrey has long-standing ties to the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons, a far-right medical group that opposes all mandatory vaccines. 
   All of this prompted the following comment on Gingrey’s own website, from Robert Murphey, a plastic surgeon who lives in New Jersey:
   “As a surgeon, with an MD from Vanderbilt, and seven years training at Hopkins, I find the fact that you, supposedly a physician, made the spurious claim that Central American immigrants might be carriers of Ebola, as glaring proof of your limited knowledge and rabble rousing duplicity. If you sent this alert to the CDC, I am sure that it gave them a laugh. This is akin to Billy Frist's [former Senate Majority Leader] video diagnosis of Terri Schivo's purposeful mental state, although brain dead. Just another example of Republican anti-science, anti-intellectualism. You may be a physician, but not much of one.”
   Joyce’s Take has secured a copy of Georgia’s final medical licensing exam, which constitutes one essay question: “If you have one bucket that holds two gallons of water, and another bucket that contains five gallons of water... how many buckets do you have?”
   If you answer that question with anything other than “two,” then you too can become a doctor in the peach state.*  
   The mistake that  Kornacki made was his statement that ebola, and ebola outbreaks occur only in Africa. Obviously he’s a fan of Stephen King’s “Under the Dome.” 
   The only known case of Ebola in Europe was in 1976, when a scientist at Porton Down laboratory in Britain accidentally pricked himself with an infected needle. He survived.
   In 1989 a electron microscopist named Thomas W. Geisbert, discovered filoviruses similar in appearance to Ebola in tissue samples taken from Crab-eating Macaque monkeys imported from the Philippines to Hazleton Laboratories in Reston, Virginia., which lies 22.4 miles to the west of Washington D.C. During a period of three months over a third of the monkeys in the facility died, sometimes at a rate of two or three a day. Blood samples were taken from 178 animal handlers during the incident. Of them, six eventually developed antibodies to the mutated ebola strain, testing positive. They remained, however, asymptomatic. 
   Fortunately the strain, which came to be called the Reston virus, had mutated into a form that may have infected humans, but did not manifest disease symptoms. 
   And it turns out the monkeys died of Simian hemorrhagic fever, which was a different strain of virus than the one Mr. Geisbert discovered.
   Ebola has been found in China and the Philippines, but has never caused an illness, or a fatality.
   Which doesn’t mean it won’t in the future. 
   There is no vaccine to guard against ebola infection. There is no specific treatment for the virus with efforts to help people including giving the person either oral rehydration therapy or intravenous fluids. Between 1976, when it was first identified, and the present, fewer than 1,000 people a year have been infected, that we know of.
   Since 1976 there have been at least 28 instances of outbreak, or accidental introduction into a controlled environment. 
   Where does the virus come from? How does it infect humans? Where does it hide between outbreaks? 
   Fruit bats maybe. The virus resides in natural reservoirs such as fruit bat populations, or gorilla and monkey populations, pigs, or antelopes, that carry the disease but are not affected by it. When a person comes into contact with a carrier animal they can become infected. Once infection occurs, the disease may be spread from one person to another. Men who survive may be able to transmit the disease sexually for nearly two months. To make a diagnosis, typically other diseases with similar symptoms such as malaria, cholera and other viral hemorrhagic fever are excluded. The blood may then be tested for either antibodies to the virus, the viral DNA, or the virus itself to confirm ebola infection. 
   At present the largest ebola outbreak in history is transpiring in three west African countries. Guinea, Sierra Leone, and Liberia. Last February, the first recognized case of ebola infection occurred in Guinea. On March 25th, the Ministry of Health of Guinea reported that four southeastern districts—Guekedou, Macenta, Nzerekore, and Kissidougou, were affected with an outbreak. The following day the Pasteur Institute in Lyon, France confirmed the Ebola strain as Zaire ebolavirus. The Zaire ebolavirus is the most dangerous of the six species of Ebola viruses of the Ebolavirus genus which are the causative agents of Ebola virus disease.
   On March 31st, the US Centers for Disease Control sent a five-person team "to assist Guinea Ministry of Health and World Health Organization (WHO) led international response to the Ebola outbreak" By April 23rd, the total number of suspected and confirmed cases in the outbreak had increased to 242, including 142 deaths at a fatality rate of 59%. 
   In Liberia, the disease was reported in Lofa and Nimba counties in late March, and by mid-April, the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare had recorded possible cases in Margibi and Montserrado counties. Sierra Leone, Mali and Ghana identified suspected cases by mid-April, but all clinical samples of suspected cases tested negative for ebolavirus.
   However, between May 23rd and the 27th, three previously affected districts (Guéckédou, Macenta and Conakry, where the capital of Guinea is located), four new districts (Boffa, Télimélé, Boke and Dubréka) and one new country (Sierra Leone) reported several new EVH clinical cases.
   The humanitarian aid organization Doctors Without Borders has a team of 300 staff working in the affected countries, and has set up specialist centers to give medical care to affected people,  sending over 40 tons of equipment and supplies to the regin.  
   Doctors Without Borders described the situation as being "totally out of control" late last month, and on July 3rd, the BBC reported 759 infections with 467 deaths among the three countries.
   Local difficulties faced in attempting to contain the outbreak include the outbreak's multiple locations across country borders, inadequate precautions taken by medical personnel, funeral practices of the local population, and public reluctance to follow preventive practices (analogous to the recent anti-vaccine hysteria observed here in the U.S.), including "freeing" suspected ebola patients from isolation,  and suspicion that the disease is caused by witchcraft, or that doctors are killing, rather than treating patients, for instance at one point the Red Cross was forced to suspend operations in Guinea after staff members were threatened by a group of men armed with knives.   
   “As the number of deaths and cases of ebola continues to rise in Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone, the World Health Organization is warning that drastic action is needed,” WHO said in a statement. “This is no longer a country-specific outbreak but a sub-regional crisis that requires firm action by governments and partners. WHO is gravely concerned of the on-going cross-border transmission into neighboring countries as well as the potential for further international spread,” said Dr. Luis Sambo, WHO regional director for Africa. 
   Dear readers, have you heard of this outbreak in the national media? I’ve seen a few reports in print Internet outlets, like Raw Story, and Reader Supported News, but as yet I have not seen one story discussed in the 24/7 news cycle, on any of the numerous cable news programs that I routinely monitor... and I monitor a lot of them (except for Fox so-called News, which make my eyes bleed... OMG! That may be a symptom!). 
   Is there a chance that this 59% fatality rate disease may reach us here in the United States, or Europe, or China, or Australia, India, and South America?      
   Of course there is. The world is no longer separated by huge geological barriers like oceans and mountain ranges. As far as modern transportation is concerned we humans might as well be using Star Trek transporters. We can get from one point on the planet to another on the opposite side in a matter of hours. With an incubation period of 2 to 21 days, travelers can easily carry the disease from one nation to another if certain precautions are ignored, and even if they are not. Oh yeah, so far the WHO said it was not recommending any travel or trade restrictions in the three affected countries. 
   We have a few things going for us. The ebola virus is relatively hard to become infected with. Relatively. And it kills very quickly, which hinders  the spread of the disease by killing the host (and thereby killing the virus within) before the host can infect someone else. 
   "Americans generally do not have an immediate danger but they must be prepared through good public health practice. We can no longer become complacent to any public health danger anywhere," Dr. Cecilia Rokusek, assistant dean for education, planning and research at Nova Southeastern University stated.
   I tend to agree.
   The public should at least be aware of this issue, and the potential magnitude of the problem. That’s a problem for the media. But towards actually dealing with the ebola outbreak in west Africa, much like the incident at Fukushima, a international effort with enough resources to affect a desirable outcome, should immediately be brought to bear. 
   Politicians however tend not to act until they are forced to, either by their backers, or by a massive amount of public opinion. 
   Educating that public is a first step.
   In the mean time, stay away from fruit bats. 




*Thanks go to the 2006 film, “Idiocracy,” written by Mike Judge and Etan Cohen, for the exam question.

Addendum: 7-19-14, Say Hello.                            
Addendum: 7-20-14, Antibiotic Abuse.              
Addendum: 7-24-14: Top Doctor Treating Ebola Outbreak Now Infected with Ebola.                             Addendum: 7-28-14: When Ignorance is a Factor.                        
Addendum 7-29-14: The Crisis Continues.        
Addendum: 7-29-14: Spreading.
Addendum: 7-30-14: Is it Here?
Addendum 8-16-14: The U.S. Readies.
Addendum 8-17-14: Can't Win for Losing.
Addendum 8-19-14: Survivor Guilt.
Addendum: 8-20-14: Violence in Liberia.
Addwndum: 828-14: WHO Warning.
Addendum: 8-29-14: Now in Monrovia.
Addendum: 8-29-14: The Toll Rises.
Addendum: 9-23-14: CDC says possible 1.4 million cases in next 4 months.
Addendum: 9-23-14: Deaths Under Reported.
Addendum: 9-25-14: Dying at Home.
Addendum: 9-30-14: Liberia chaos.
Addendum: 9-30-14: First case in the U.S.
Addendum: 10-1-14: Nigeria seems to have contained outbreak.
Addendum: 10-2-14: Ebola sweeps Sierra Leone.
Addendum: 10-18-14: Hospitals prepare.
                                        Effectiveness of travel ban debated.
                                        GOP trying to use Ebola in election.
                                       Some fear Ebola outbreak may cause nation to turn to science.
                                       Oxfam warning.
Addendum: 10-19-14: CDC to revise Ebola protocol. 
                                        Ebola madness hits the U.S.
                                        And.
Addendum: 10-20-14: WHO clears Nigeria.
Addendum: 10-24-14: Ebola vaccine developed but not tested.
                                        University of Toronto Model.
                                How the right will do anything to promote fear. And here.
                                It was only a matter of time. NYC's first case.  
                                Quarantine called for in New York & New Jersey.   
                                Quarantine seen as possible barrier to volunteers.
Addendum: 10-25-14: Ebola science.

Addendum: 11-1-14: Africans worst respondenters in Ebola Crisis.
Addendum: 11-1-14: Ebola responders in Africa already feeling effects of US Quarantine. 
Addendum: 11-22-14: Exposure in Mali.
Addendum: 11-27-14: Ebola cases near 16,000, Sierra Leone to overtake Liberia soon with most cases according to WHO
Addendum: 11-28-14: Despite Aid Push, Ebola Is Raging in Sierra Leone
Addendum: 12-13-14: Sierra Leone cancels Christmas
Addendum: 12-24-14: lab error may have exposed US technician to ebola
Addendum: 12-30-14: How Ebola roared back.
Addendum: 12-30-14: Patient Zero video.
Addendum: 12-30-14:  hollow tree in a remote village in Guinea may have been the source of the world’s biggest Ebola epidemic,
Addendum: 12-31-14: Ebola Ravages Economies in West Africa
Addendum 1-21-15: Jennifer Lawrence
Addendum: 1-24-15: Number of Ebola cases falling in West Africa
Addendum: 1-25-15: Gorillas
Addendum: 12-1-15: As Ebola Ebbs...
Addendum: 3-1-15: Nearly halted..
Addendum: 3-23-15: One year later
Addendum: 3-27-15: No new mutations, study finds
Addendum: 5-17-15: Liberia declared Ebola free
Addendum: 8-22-15; New test for Ebola
Addendum: 8-28-15: Sierra Leone’s last known hospital patient to be treated for Ebola was released this week
Addendum: 1-21-19: The Ebola Outbreak in Eastern Congo Is Moving Toward a Major City. That's Not Good.



Thursday, July 3, 2014

Happy Birthday Jan Smithers!






























Happy Birthday Jan Smithers!

You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing and dance, and write poems and suffer and understand, for all that is life. -Jiddu Krishnamurti


Venus Flytrap: [Bailey is worried because Johnny hasn't shown up] Easy!
Bailey Quarters: I am easy!
Venus Flytrap: [caught off guard] Really?
"WKRP in Cincinnati: For Love or Money: Part 2  (1979)


Picture Legend:

1. The lovely (and talented) Ms Jan Smithers
2. Early Photo from January 1974
3. Amy and Leela
4. Bailey and Jennifer
5. Jennifer Marlowe (Loni Anderson)
6. Bailey Quarters (Jan Smithers)
7. Jennifer and Bailey
8. The Picture That Started it All
9. Another Angle
10. 3 Dimensional Picture of 832 Karin
11. Ice Cream!
12. Taft High
13. California Institute of the Arts
14. Modeling
15. Cute
16. Beautiful
17. Poster for “Where Lilies Bloom” 1974
18. Jan in “Where Lilies Bloom”
19. “WKRP in Cincinnati”
20. Jan with Gary and Howard
21. Gordon and Frank, after the holocaust
22. Dropping Turkeys
23. Coming out
24. Bailey
25. Lovely Erin
26. Looking sultry on “Hotel”
27. James and Jan
28. Jan




   Are you a Mary Ann or Ginger person (ladies, you can answer too, it’s okay)? Marilyn Monroe or Sophia Loren? Laverne or Shirley? Lucy or Ethel? Wilma Flintstone or Betty Rubble? Lois Griffin or Francine Smith? Charley’s Angels or the Bradley daughters from “Petticoat Junction”? Jeannie or Samantha? Agent 99 or The Girl from U.N.C.L.E.? Pink or Alanis Morissette? Hilary Clinton or Sarah Palin? Godzilla or  Mothra? Meryl Streep or Anne Hathaway? Spaghetti or a bucket of nails? Monopoly or Twister? Hurricanes or Cyclones? Marshmallows or Jalapeno Poppers? Cat or Dog? Tree or Bush? Bush or Gore? Cheese or Yogurt? Duck Dynasty or Swamp People? Ketchup or Mustard (and don’t get me started on Mayonnaise)?  Hamburger or  Lemony Kale Salad with Avocado Coconut Dressing? Snakes or Caterpillars? Scorpions or Centipedes? Jack or Jill? The Supreme Court of the United States or Fair Elections? Haley Mills or Patty Duke? Batman or Robin? Quentin Tarantino or Christopher Nolan? Christopher Walken or Bojangles? Kevin Spacey or Joe Biden? Ellen Degeneres or Wendy Williams? Judge Judy or Judge Marilyn Milian? Jimmy Fallon or Stephen Colbert? Turanga Leela or Amy Wong? Katie Couric or John Oliver? Neil Degrasse Tyson or Carl Sagan? Mcdonalds or Taco Bell? Dracula or Frankenstein? Bread or Butter? Dakota or Elle?
   I could literally go on for about 22  minutes more.
   The first paragraph above begs the question, are you a Jennifer Marlowe or a Bailey Quarters type of person (this will be confirmed later)?
   If you’re a fan of the 1978 sit-com “WKRP in Cincinnati,” you will know the characters I’m talking about, played expertly by the lovely and talented actresses, Loni Anderson and Jan Smithers.  
   Now I have absolutely nothing against Loni, as she is both lovely and talented, all at the same time. 
   However, I must admit that I’ve always had a secret crush on Bailey (please don’t tell anybody... it’s a secret), so I guess I’m a Bailey Quarters kind of guy (as well as a Mary Ann, Marilyn Monroe, Shirley, Lucy, Betty Rubble, Lois Griffin, Bradley daughters, Jeannie and Samantha, The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. (Stefanie Powers), Pink, Hilary Clinton, Godzilla,  Anne Hathaway, spaghetti, Monopoly, cyclone, jalapeno popper, cat and dog, tree, Gore, cheese, neither,  mayonnaise, hamburger, caterpillar, scorpion, Jill, fair elections, Haley Mills, Batman,  Christopher Nolan (although I wish you’d tighten up those films a bit Chris), Christopher Walken, Kevin Spacey and Joe Biden, Ellen Degeneres, Marilyn Milian (she’s one hot judge, man), Stephen Colbert, Leela and Amy (at the same time),  Katie Couric (who doesn’t love Katie, as a matter of fact she may have saved my life by telling me to get a colonoscopy back in 2000), Carl Sagan (sorry Neil), Taco Bell, Dracula, bread, and sisters person).  
   Be that as it may, I would like to take this opportunity to give a great big happy birthday shout out to one of my favorite actresses, and a lady I’ve had a secret crush on for about 36 years, Ms Jan Smithers.
   Jan (I like to call her Jan) was born in nearby Woodland Hills (34° 10′ 5.99″ N, 118° 36′ 18″ W
34.16833, -118.605), where I used to go to college and castrate pigs. I say nearby because I could walk there from where I’m now living in downtown Los Angeles in about 3 days if I so desired. 
   But I could get there a lot faster if I took a bus.
   Like many of us, Jan was born at a very early age as a small, blue eyed, female infant, and was given the name of Karin, being named after 832 Karin, a S-Type asteroid, approximately 11.8061 miles in diameter,  the largest member of the Karin Cluster, which orbits the Sun every 4.845 years, and which itself is named after Queen Karin Månsdotter of Sweden (1568), before she was thrown in jail with her husband the king.  Jan is actually Jan’s middle name, which she uses as her first. Isn’t that interesting.
   Her last name really is Smithers though. 
   Way before Jan arrived, the Fernandeño-Tataviam and Chumash-Venturaño tribes inhabited the area of Woodland Hills, and had lived there for about 8,000 years. They moved out when the Spanish came in 1769, because they were allergic to refried beans and tortillas. The Spanish established that big mission, The Mission San Fernando Rey de España, in what is now known as San Fernando, and they controlled the whole valley, which is now called the San Fernando Valley, of which Woodland Hills is a small part in the southwest corner. 
   In the 1800‘s Americans came and chased the Spanish out, and developed the whole valley, getting it ready for the Smithers family.
   The actor who played Lurch, Ted Cassidy, in the 1960‘s television version of “The Addams Family,” lived in Woodland Hills. Buster Keaton, the famous comedian, vaudevillian, and film star died there in 1966. So did the actors Jack Klugman, Donald O’Conner, John Larch, Dolores Moran, and Mary Carver. A lot of other people have lived in Woodland Hills over the years.
   The Motion Picture & Television Country House and Hospital, a fully licensed, acute-care hospital which provides services for members of the motion picture and television industry, is also located in Woodland Hills. It’s very nice there I’m told.
   Jan’s mom was named  Virginia and her father Brett. Mr. Smithers was an attorney, a rather enlightened attorney, and passed down to his family his love of art, music,  and sports activities, like sailing, scuba diving, either gliding over water at high speeds utilizing special shoes, or sliding down the frictionless sides of mountains, flying, with or without mechanized vehicles, and back packing, which I do every time I go to the supermarket. Brett was concerned about the environment, and liked to take the family hiking in the Ojai Valley, which is the next valley over to the west. 
   He also enjoyed the teaching of the speaker and writer on philosophical subjects, Jiddu Krishnamurti (who claimed no nationality), and brought his children to hear him speak, in Ojai, where Krishnamurti lived until his death in 1986, and where Jan lives now.
   Brett and  Virginia had four daughters, which meant that Jan had three sisters, Kristen, Mary and Holly.  
   Jan began her adventure in show business when she was 16 and photographed (number 8 above) for the cover of the March 21st, 1966 edition of Newsweek magazine, by Julian Wasser. She was also interviewed in the magazine for a piece concerning teenagers. Jan, being an expert on the subject, was a natural choice. Jan, being very pretty (for a girl) was also a natural choice for the cover. 
   She was attending Taft High School at the time, studying art it is said. But I remember my own high school days, not so far apart from Jan’s, all kinds of subjects were taught, and the students really didn’t have majors. Perhaps Taft was different than Monroe High where I studied, or perhaps Jan was a rebel, and studied art to the exclusion of everything else, much to the dismay of her teachers. Perhaps Jan will read this and leave a comment, and straighten this important matter out.
   Taft High is now a charter school.
   Jan and I are kindred spirits, a nd have many things in common. Besides living and growing up so close together, we are both strikingly good looking, and both suffered accidents while we were teens. While in high school she was driving around and swerved to avoid a driver who ran a stop sign, and struck a telephone pole, banging her head on the steering wheel,  creating permanent scar on her chin... which, quite frankly, I’ve never noticed.
   I was a tad younger when my accident occured as my dad was still alive, but I swerved my ten speed bicycle into a chain link fence, trying to avoid a collision with another rider, and suffered a permanent scar on my forehead. It’s still there today! That’s what permanent means!
   Fortunately for most of my life my hair covered said scare up, but as I get older I also get balder, and it’s getting harder and harder to do so. 
   Yet we both survived. 
    We’ve discussed the matter of feminine appearance in the recent post “Women and Men (Or, What the Hell’s the Matter with Men?) Part 2: The Difference,” and according to Jan, the scar made her feel insecure about her looks, and that she lost several roles in the future because of it. 
   I too, have never been on television, probably due to the scar on my forehead, and the fact that I never attempted to enter the acting profession. 
   However, the Newsweek coverage did get her some commercial and modeling work, so some people didn’t give a rat’s patucci about her scar, just like me!
   After graduating from Taft, she continued her studies at the California Institute of the Arts in Valencia (which was created by Walt Disney), taking acting classes, and studying singing and painting. She is an alumnus of the Institute’s School Of Theater. She worked for an architect to supplement her income.
   I worked for a veterinarian. 
   I also sing, but never took lessons.
   I also had dinner at the California Institute of the Arts once, with my first wife, Michelle. The dinner was actually a performance art project that went bad.
   But I digress.
   When Jan was 20 she got married, but it didn’t work out, just like with me and Michelle. About a year later she married the actor Kipp Whitman, who played Chip Beamer on  the soap “The Edge of Night.” That marriage didn’t last too long either and they divorced about a year later.
   “The Edge of Night,” was produced by the American multinational consumer goods company, Procter & Gamble, airing from December 1st, 1975, until December 28th, 1984. Kipp wasn’t on the show that long though. 
   Procter and Gamble is the company that our new nominee to become Secretary of Veteran’s Affairs, Robert McDonald, ran from 2009 to 2013. 
   But I digress.
   You know what’s at the edge of night? Dawn or dusk. How did they make a show that aired 5 days a week, for 9 years when the premise was so easy to figure out?
   Beats me.
   I can’t stand soaps.
   Anyway, Jan continued a career in the acting field, and in 1973 got her first gig outside of commercials on the anthology television show, “Love Story.” I’m not sure what the show was about, but that’s what it was called. The show aired from 1973 all the way to 1974, for 12 episodes.  Jan’s show was called “Beginner's Luck,” and she worked with the veteran actress, and mother of Jamie Lee Curtis, Janet Leigh, and speaking of Patty Duke, the guy who played her dad on “The Patty Duke Show,” William Schallert was in it, and a 22 year old Kurt Russell (who was also created by Walt Disney in his magic laboratory).  
   Good start.
   The next year she worked in two movies (please keep in mind these films were more than likely made the year before they were released), “When the North Wind Blows,” about the lack of tigers to hunt in Siberia due to global warming and accidentally shooting a child, two topics that are still relevant today, and “Where the Lilies Bloom,” which besides Jan, also starred Jack Nicholson’s old buddy, Harry Dean Stanton, and is sort of the prequel to “Winter’s Bone.” I think Harry and Jan get married, the lecherous old coot. 
   It is exceptionally rare to discover an actress who’s first two film title’s start with the letter “W.” As a matter of fact I don’t think it’s eve been done before.
   In 1976 she appeared on the original “Starsky and Hutch,” T.V. program, in an episode entitled “Running,” which also featured Natalie’s lovely sister, Lana Wood.
   In 1978 she appeared in another film, “Our Winning Season,” concerning  three teenagers through their senior year of high school in the 1960s, that also starred Randy’s brother, Dennis Quaid. 
   And that year the director, writer, actor, and producer, Hugh Wilson, cast Jan in the role for which she is most likely best known, and from which I became aware of her, that of Bailey Quarters in “WKRP in Cincinnati,” which premiered Sept. 18th, 1978 on CBS, and ran for four seasons, until April 21st, 1982, for a total of 90 episodes.
   The show was about a top 40 (songs) radio station that operated in one of our major American cities (and you’re going to have to figure out for yourselves which one), and was based on Wilson’s experiences working in the advertising department of a similar station in Atlanta, which is another major American city.
   Jan says she was naturally shy (another trait we share), and Hugh says he was looking for an actress who possessed that quality. "All the other actresses played shy," he said. "Jan was shy." 
   Here’s what Wikipedia says about Bailey: “The young ingénue of the radio station, is originally in charge of billing and station traffic. However, having graduated from journalism school with some training in editing, and intent on becoming a broadcast executive, she is later given additional duties as an on-air news reporter, in which capacity she proves much more capable than Les Nessman [the station’s news reporter]. As the series progressed, she overcame her shyness by developing self-confidence [good strategy! Why didn’t I think of that]. Beginning with the second season, she occasionally becomes linked romantically with Johnny Fever [Hessman]. The dynamic between Jennifer and Bailey has been likened to that between Ginger and Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island [see]. Jan Smithers was one of the few WKRP cast members who was the first choice for the role she played (Gordon Jump being the other one). Creator Hugh Wilson said that despite Smithers' lack of experience (she had never done a situation comedy before), she was perfect for the character of Bailey as he had conceived her: "Other actresses read better for the part", Wilson recalled, "but...” see his comment above.
   In a 1980 interview she remarked, "I took matters in my own hands and decided that Bailey, while very insecure [and] not together and not naturally outgoing, did have a lot of ambition and the capacity to grow. I think lots of people can relate to that and root for Bailey. That's the kind of mail I get -- people say, 'I'm trying to gain more freedom, too.'" 
   WKRP aired during the years I was involved with the navy, so I really got acquainted with the show when it entered syndication and through reruns, but that was okay, they weren’t reruns to me. I enjoyed it very much, the show was well produced, had a great cast including two beauties who happened to be very funny too... Howard Hesseman and Richard Sanders. Loni Anderson and Jan were very nice as well.
   The show also starred Gary Sandy, Gordon Jump, Tim Reid,  and Frank Bonner.
   Here’s a montage of Bailey Quarters.  And an interview this year at a WRKP reunion. 
   And here’s that rat bastard Dick Van Patten, from the whoosey show “Eight is Enough,” sexistly dunking Jan in a 1979 Battle of the Network Stars segment.
   I never did like that guy.
   Bastard.
   And here’s one of the funniest clips you’ll find from television ever, one I send to my lovely ex-case manager, Erin, every Thanksgiving. 
   At the present time my computer is not allowing me to hear these youtube clips, but I sincerely hope they were appropriate and on topic... unlike me.
   I’m getting a new computer next week. I hope that solves the problem.
   After the shows run Jan continued in television, appearing on shows like “The Fall Guy,” “Legmen,” “The Love Boat,” “Murder, She Wrote,” and “Hotel,” where she hooked up with Marcus Welby’s sidekick,  and father of Josh, James Brolin.
   The couple held an  unofficial marriage ceremony June 29, 1986 (a practice run I guess), in Nova Scotia, followed by an official wedding later in the year.
   Their daughter, Molly Elizabeth, was born on November 28th, 1987, at 4:31 in the morning, which was rather inconsiderate of her, but she was a little baby, being born at a very early age, and didn’t know any better. 
   Jan retired from acting after the birth, which was unfortunate for the rest of us, but we must not be selfish. 
   In March of 1995 she filed for divorce from James, who went on to marry Barbara Streisand. 
   I would have stayed with Jan.
   By the way, Streisand’s first husband, the actor Elliot Gould, starred with Brolin in 1977‘s  conspiracy sci-fi thriller “Capricorn One,” after Gould had broken up with Barb, and before Brolin married her in 1998, which is just another example of... well I don’t know what it’s an example of. 
   Well, that’s about it... except for this. 
   Jan has been involved in political causes in the past, and a Democrat, just like me. she participated in public protests against nuclear arms, and in 1988 she campaigned for the  Democratic congressional hopeful,  Jerry Yudelson of California, who as far as I can ascertain is  recognized as one of the leading green building experts in the United States. 
   Jan is also concerned with animal rights and sustainable clean energy, and since 1991 has reportedly been studying to become a homeopathic (an alternative medicine) practitioner. 
   Once residing in Halifax, Nova Scotia (famous for Ellen Page and Sarah McLachlan), she moved to Ojai, California in 2005, and where I could walk to in about a week or so if I so desired. 
   What else? 
   She was born in the Chinese year of the Ox, and her Chinese birth sign is Ox - Yin, which claims her personal characteristics include integrity, Strength of purpose, stability, innovation, diligence, and eloquence. 
   I won’t go into her vices because women don’t have them.
   Here’s another similarity between myself and Jan. The love of my life was a girl named Jan... and Jan Smithers’ name is Jan... coincidence or not? I’ll leave that up to you, dear readers.
   The name Jan Smithers in Elvish is Alatáriël Lossëhelin. The name Karin Jan Smithers is Inwë Lossëhelin. And mine is  Daeron Tulcakelumë, which is kind of similar to Jan’s... if you close your eyes.
   And one more thing.
   All of us here at Joyce’s Take wish you, Jan Smithers, continued good health and fortune for you and your family, and whatever pets you may have, and a very... very happy birthday.
   Happy Birthday Jan!

Monday, June 30, 2014

Skid Row Diary 29























27  September   2003   Saturday  Day 77


   I got up around 5:00 and showered. I watched last night’s “Charlie Rose Program,” while exercising. Jeffrey Immelt, the CEO of General Electric and personification of Satan on Earth was the hour’s guest. I knew how to run a multi-billion dollar, multi-national company after it was over. 
   I was saddened to learn from Charley downstairs that George Plimpton had passed away yesterday. A co-founder of The Paris Review, occasional actor, and a journalist who researched his stories by getting personally involved, such as quaterbacking a Detroit Lions football game, performing in a comedy at act at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas, and playing with the New York Philharmonic Orchestra, among other incidents. 
   The Palestinian American literary theorist, Edward Said also died a few days ago.
   This year is nothing but a death watch. I imagine this is one way to measure how old your are getting, by noting how many people you know die.
   At 6:15 I left the building and walked north to Boyle St and sat down outside Ron McCree’s apartment building. An overcast, grey morning, the street was littered with trash, and black and Hispanic homeless people, some drinking beer, some urinating, some just standing around waiting for what would happen next. 
   A young Hispanic gentleman with the proclivity of talking to himself, rode up to me on a bicycle, set it down next to me, and ran off down the street, around the corner towards 3rd St.
   Ron McCree oozed out of his building and looked around. He scanned up and down the street several times before noticing I was sitting directly in front of him.
   “I’ll be down in just a minute, man,” he said. “I just wanted to see if you were here.” 
   He went back inside.
   The young Hispanic guy came back and retrieved his bike without tipping me for looking after it.
   Ron came back and we began our walk and talk. 
   We walked within a rectangle described by San Julian St. on the west, 4th St to the north, Stanford Ave on the east, and 7th St on the south. The talk varied from self disclosure to predictions of our personal futures. I found out that Ron had been shot in the ass in Vietnam (and then signed on for a 2nd tour of duty... ”I was having fun, man!”), and was receiving a VA pension as a result. I hadn’t known he had even been in Nam. I learned that he had a daughter in North Hollywood. I learned that his internship at the Service Spot was precarious, and that he may or may not be getting paid on a regular basis. I also learned that he’s still drinking, as we stopped at Jack’s Market where he purchased a Magnum Malt Liquor for breakfast. 
   He asked if I minded.
   “I don’t care,” I told him.
   “I didn’t ask if you cared. I asked if you minded.”
   “I don’t care. I don’t mind. What? You think I’m gonna relapse because you’re drinking a beer. Are you crazy? It would take at least two beers for me to do that.”
   He laughed.
   “That’s the first laugh I’ve had today,” he said. “Thanks.”
   We continued our stroll. 
   He told me how Skid Row was divided into districts, as far as the procurement of drugs was concerned. Marijuana was sold and used in front of the L.A. Mission on 5th and Wall, heroin on San Julian, between 6th and 7th, and crack cocaine everywhere else.
   Ron makes these Saturday morning walks supposedly to keep in touch with the street scene, to see who’s dies, in jail, sick, and okay. All I saw him do was to try and pick up cute homeless chicks. 
   One white girl in her 20s was sitting on the sidewalk outside of the Volunteers Of America (VOA) on Crocker, as Ron and I approached. Ron immediately jumped headfirst into her business, asking her what she was doing, where she was staying, where she was going, etc., etc, etc. Surprisingly the girl answered him, and was very nice. Her name was Nina, and had been here in L.A. for six months, out of Wisconsin. Her boyfriend had just been arrested and she was staying in the 38th St. shelter, and was trying to get on GR. At one point she mentioned that she needed a pen to write something down, and I gave her one of my emergency pens from my utility belt and told her to keep it.
   McCree gave her his phone number, “just in case,” she needed it. Wasn’t that nice of him? She wrote it down.
   He tried to do the same to a pretty black girl named Karen who was waiting for a check cashing store to open on 7th, near Stanford. Ron kept trying to give her his number, “just in case,” and she kept politely refusing.
   Just up the street on Gladys, Ron showed me where the Hippie Kitchen was. I’d heard of it for the last year and a half, but had never seen it. As it turned out it was right across the street from Gladys Park where the elite homeless hang out during the day, and where the Drifters Meeting is held each night. The Hippie Kitchen provides meals three days a week, with Saturday being one of those days. But it didn’t begin doing that until 9:30, and Ron and I didn’t stick around.
   No one will ever starve in Skid Row.
   Besides the Hippie Kitchen, there are several missions nearby, like the Midnight Mission, and Union Rescue, that provide daily meals, a Senior and Woman’s Center, and good folks, or church groups often come down and hand out food to those who happen to be around when they’re there. Everything from complete meals, to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and whatever’s in between.
   We continued north toward 5th St (The Nickel) discussing the projected consequences of the imminent strike by the homeless, when Ron turned into one of the many seafood companies that encompass the Skid Row area. 
   Apparently this particular company sold to the public in an open market each day until 11:00, and Ron bought ten bucks worth of lobster and squid. Good on the lobster, yuck on the squid.
   Back at old Jack’s Market, he bought two more beers to take home with him, and we said our goodbyes.
   I invited him to the movies, but he said he couldn’t make it today. Another time perhaps.
   I walked back to the Weingart’s dining room and ate breakfast. Pancakes. Then returned to 5th St to catch a bus downtown. Just as the bus arrived I notice an LAPD black and while (police car) pull up to Jack’s Market across the street. Two officers jumped out with their guns drawn, and ordered a black guy to stand up against the side of the building. 
   I went to the movies. 
 And arrived at City Walk just after 10:00. 
   It seems that very same multi-national company, General Electric has just agreed to purchase this facility, along with Universal Studios down the hill, and it’s cable and music business. Joined with NBC, I think it’s a good match, if you don’t mind huge media conglomerates.
   “The Rundown” didn’t start until 1:00, so I kicked back and watched music videos. I enjoyed Elvis Costello’s “45,” and fell in love with Annette Strean of Venus Hum, who sang “Soul Sloshing,” from their album “Big Beautiful Sky.”   
   I may not be able to get over her. She’s much too cute.
   Good singer too.
   And really cute... for a girl.
   “Soul Sloshing” would play itself in my head for the rest of the day, replacing Elton John’s “Little Genie,” which I don’t even like that much.
   I didn’t like “The Rundown” that much either, or at least not as much as Ebert and Roper did, but I liked it a little. I thought Dwayne “The Rock" Johnson was great as the Syndicate’s “retrival specialist,” with a dream to become a restaurateur, and the lovely and talented Rosario Dawson as a  Brazilian rebel (who knew there were such things as Brazilian rebels... I certainly didn’t). 
   I’d rebel with her in Brazil given half a chance. 
   That dancing fool Christopher Walken has made a career out of playing edgy, idiosyncratic, possibly surreal characters, and he continued to do so in this film.
   Needed just a smidgeon more action though.
   While attempting to exit the theater complex a searing wind blew me upstairs into the #17 auditorium, where “Woody Allen’s “Anything Else,” just happened to be playing, starring the lovely actress (she’s very talented too), Christina Ricci (little Wednesday!) and Jason Biggs, the actor who has intimate relationships with apple pies. Another trip into Woody’s world, which usually concerns upper-middle class New Yorkers, who never seem to work, have no money problems, and are looking for love. I’ve got no problem with that. Somebody’s got to do it, and one of the things I most liked about this film was the shots of the city. As a matter of fact I now am afflicted with an uncontrollable urge to go to New York and run around Central Park at three o’clock in the morning.  
   Two jokes I have to relate. Christina Ricci,  congratulating her boyfriend (Biggs) new job as a a television writer in California: “That’s great. All the idiots who can’t make it in New York go to California and write for television.”
   Woody’s not making a lot of friends in L.A. I’m guessing.
   And Jason talking in Central Park about sex with his new friend, David Dobel (Woody):
   Jason: “I don’t like masturbation. I’t not like the real thing.”
   Woody: “Oh I don’t know about that. Let me tell you, just last night I constructed this fantasy with Marilyn Monroe and Sophia Loren, and to the best of my knowledge that’s the first time those two wonderful actress ever appeared together.”  
   I also accidently stepped into the last 20 minutes of “Under the Tuscan Sun,” starring the beautiful and talented Diane Lane.
   Now I know what you’re thinking. What is an exceptionally handsome, virile, sexy, man’s man, doing going into the biggest chick flick of the year? My answer... because the beautiful and talented Diane Lane starred in it. Enough said. 
   The cinematography was very nice too.
   I returned downtown, to the Weingart, singing and dancing to “Soul Sloshing.”
   I watched “Zorba the Greek,” on PBS, starring Anthony Quinn, in one of his most famous roles. 
   Scene: Men running out of a mine just before it collapses. One man pulls back, into the dust ridden entrance: “Zorba! 
   Quinn walks out, looks around... “What?”
   Did you know that Anthony Quinn was Mexican? I didn’t. His dad rode with Pancho Villa, which was the nickname of José Doroteo Arango Arámbula, a famous Mexican revolutionary. After that they moved to East Los Angeles (not far from the Weingart), which must have been a little anticlimactic for them.
   When I went to sleep I had a dream with Andrea Parducci, the lovely and talented star of “Once Upon a Madonna,” “Tales from the Chateau,” and many other fine films, Marilyn Monroe, and Sophia Loren, which as far as I know is the second time the later wonderful actress ever appeared together, and the first for all three.
   I won’t go into the details, but it involved a trampoline.


28  September   Sunday   Day 78


   I woke late, at 10:00 or so, showered, then went downtown to buy a paper. I also picked up the latest issue of Maxim Magazine, with the lovely and talented Gina Gershon, featured on the cover.
   I’ve heard some critics pan Maxim, and it’s imitators, describing it as pablum for young males, and a destroyer of minds. I say, hell no, that’s what T.V. is for. I find the magazine witty, entertaining, and informative. Why in this issue alone I learned who Antarctica belonged to, how to conduct a stakeout and follow people with their knowing it, how to throw a boomerang, spot fake twenty dollar bills, and how to create an artificial womb. I even found some funny jokes, like, a giraffe walks into a bar and says, “High balls on me.”
   Upon returning to my room I exercised and meditated  before fixing some nice eggs and sausage in the day rooms microwave. I also got 4 laundry tokens from Frank Valdez, the weekend case manager. Now I have 11. I could do laundry all day if I so desired.
   While reading the paper I had recently purchased I listened to The Prairie Home Companion on the radio, sponsored by The Ketchup Advisory Board, which provides instruction in the use of ketchup, which at times can be fairly tricky.
   The radio also told me that Elia Kazan, the famous film director had died, and  yesterday the actor Donald O'Connor (who was another actor I actually saw perform at Universal Studios. I was on an active sound stage for some reason, and he was guest appearing on some television show, and having a little trouble remembering his lines as I recall). He used to talk to mules.
   With all of these people dying all over the place I really think I’ll be lucky to make it to December, due to sympathy death.
   At 7:30 I watched and taped the Farrelly brothers, “There’s Something About Mary,” starring the lovely and talented Cameron Diaz, who is both talented and lovely all at the same time. I had forgotten how funny it was, their best effort to date.
   And at 11:00 I watched the “Fast Food Brain-Eater,” episode of “The X-Files,” which was really, well, bad. I taped it, but will record over it tomorrow with “The Man with One Red Shoe.”
   Christina Applelay, the beautiful and talented star of “Creasemaster,” and “Savannah R.N.,” and other fine films, and Cameron Diaz came to me in my dreams tonight.
   We were in Nepal, climbing up a steep, snow-ridden, trail on Mount Everest, on our way to a Buddhist monastery. Both of the girls were shivering mightily, as they were not dressed properly for the climate, wearing matching green string bikinis with purple stars embossed upon them. Taking pity upon the foolish ladies, I let them huddle against me to keep warm.


29  September   Monday   day 79


   I wrote until it was time for lunch (barbecued chicken), then walked up to the VA clinic for the 1:00 ASAP meeting.
   Bud Wilson, from the veteran’s benefit office sat in on the group to answer questions we might have concerning benefits we might have been eligible for. That took about three quarters of the hour, and in the last fifteen minutes Kathy explained how having our urine tested once or twice a week was an important feedback tool. 
   Lord knows I realize the importance of testing as a tool to measure progress, but I despite it’s value as a tool for patient feedback. I suspect that the ASAP clients know pretty much if they’re dirty or not. 
   Afterwards, I caught a Dash to 8th and Spring, and walked to the One Stop Center, and there faxed my resume to three places. All the computers were busy, so I went to the library to check my E-mail. There, I also learned everything I could about the electronic pop music group from Nashville, Tennessee, Venus Hum, and my new love, Annette Strean.
   I don’t usually do this, but if you click on this, you can see and hear Annette and “Soul Sloshing” too!
   She looks so sweet, and I’m almost positive that she is as pure as the driven snow. Innocent too. And she’s a very powerful singer.
   Don’t worry, Sophie B Hawkins, I still love you best. Jennifer, Odalys, Giselle don’t be jealous. There’s room in my heart for all.
    I returned to the Weingart and attempted to meet with my lovely case worker, as I was overdo for a session. Labren refused to see me, however, claiming her computer was down. Apparently the ability to take notes and enter them at a later time was beyond her. I was unreasonably upset as this always seems to happen with her. Whenever I do get to see her she acts like she’s doing me a big favor. Hell, it’s the Weingart’s policy’s that I see her on a regular basis, not mine. I already know how I’m doing.
   I didn’t voice my displeasure though. That would have been counter productive.
   Later, I tried to tape one of my favorite comedies, “The Man with One Red Shoe,” starring Lori Singer. When I think about films that I cherish this always comes to mind. Based on a  French film, “Le Grand Blond avec une chaussure noire,” or for those of you readers who do not speak or read French, “The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe,” and is smart, funny, irreverent, well acted, produced, and directed. It also has a wonderful musical score. It boasts some memorable lines, like, “This man has been badly beaned,” and scenes, little Tommy Noonan is mistaken by the enemy to be the target they are looking for and has all of his teeth removed in a dentist’s office as a result. The film is even somewhat relevant as a statement of the absurdity and lengths modern intelligence agencies will go to to prove doubtful positions (like why we invaded Iraq). 
   You can’t get much of a better cast. This guy named Tom Hanks looks elfishly young playing the straight man to all of the crazy antics happening all around him. Dabney Coleman is simply great in everything he appear’s in... “How will I know which tooth the microfilm is in?” he is asked. “Oh yeah,” he ponders briefly. “Better yank em all out.” Lori, “Left foot... one... red... shoe.” Jim Belushi, Tommy, Charles Durning, Carrie Fisher, Edward Herrmann, Squiggy from “Laverne & Shirley.”
   Here’s something I didn’t know until I checked it out. Hanks’character in the film is a concert violinist. Lori Singer is an actual concert cellist, and made her debut as soloist at age thirteen with the Oregon Symphony.
   “The Man with One Red Shoe,” bombed at the box office, but so did “ Citizen Kane” when it debuted in 1941 (it didn’t make it’s production costs back at least).
   I said I tried to tape it, but was unable to. Midway during the broadcast, I played back part of the tape only to discover that it was not taping smoothly, but starting and stopping in a jerking fashion, making the sound  impossible to hear. I experimented with the VCR for a while and came to the conclusion that the combination of the cheap tapes I use and the cheap VCR I have, has doomed my recording efforts. I also realized much later that I probably could have kept recording and played it back on a different machine, and it might have worked just fine.
   So I was a tad disappointed. The next VCR I buy will not be purchased from around here.
   After the movie was over I read for a while before going to sleep. 
   I dreamt I was in a small mid-west town dancing to an upbeat Kenny Loggins’ song with Lori Singer, Kevin Bacon, John Lithgow, and Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
   Like Christopher Walken, we were dancing fools.


30  September    Tuesday   Day 80


   I got up reasonably early and went to breakfast, French toast, then left for Trimar. 
   At the 99 Cent Store in Van Nuys I picked up 2 jars of instant coffee, 2 cans of meatballs in tomato sauce, Colby cheese, jalapeno peppers, mustard of course, ham and turkey luncheon meat, smoked sausages, butter, grated Parmesan cheese, and 3 Three Musketeers Bars.
   At Trimer, they were watching Jerry Springer again, so I continued reading from “Floating Dragon,” finishing it late that night. I don’t think I finished reading it the first time around as I had no memory of the convoluted ending at all. Peter Straub is a great writer, but I personally don’t care for the endings of many of his books... which is a significant problem. This one, “Ghost Story,” two books that are roughly similar (a group of people pulling together to battle with a supernatural enemy from the past. In “Floating Dragon,” the final confrontation between the four principle characters and the dragon takes place after everyone else is pretty much dead and done with. One would think that these folks would have mustered up the gumption to fight back a bit earlier than that, especially after one’s husband had been killed, one’s father, and another’s wife and unborn child. And don’t tell me they didn’t know who the dragon was, as in the end it didn’t take a whole lot to figure it out.
   And the final vanquishing was done with the help of some “magic sword” that popped out of nowhere when one’s thoughts were clear or you sang a song.
   Seriously?
   As in “Ghost Story,” after all of the deaths, destruction, and mayhem, the overzealous antagonist seemed pitifully weak and easy to dispatch.
   In Struab’s book “Mystery,” the ending was very satisfying, and I’m looking forward to reading “The Hellfire Club, which I got from the library, because... well who doesn’t like clubs. 
   The first finger prick sample was too fatty, and I had to drink some lemon juice and wait a half hour in order to try again. Popcorn. Butter on the French toast. Bucket O’ Lard. I’ve been eating too much fat. I weighed in at 188.
   The second test came back okay, and I was able to donate. My friend Aurica was off today, so I had no one to talk to except the mad Dutch woman, Mama Nell, who complained to me about having to adjust my needle.
   I just love having my needle adjusted.
   After finishing I purchased a Super Lotto ticket, then made my way back downtown.
   I had received my new bus pass card in the mail yesterday, so I bought October’s sticker from the MTA customer service office at Arco Plaza, before returning to the Weingart.
   Swedish meatballs for dinner. They looked like regular meatballs to me.
   I spent the evening writing and watching television, very different from other evenings. I’ve been taping Jackie Guerrido’s weather forecast on “Primer Impacto," at 5:30 each day. Knowing the weather is very important.
    I watched the second to last episode of “8 Simple Rules,” that John Ritter appeared in. The last will be aired next week.
   And I watched the season premier of “Good Morning Miami,” starring Constance Zimmer. The producers seem to have discarded Suzanne  Pleshette’s character, substituting her with Ttiffani Amber Thiessen. This is an outrage! I have nothing against Tiffani, but to push off the beautiful and talented veteran actress and comedian is not only insulting, it’s down right rude. I for one, will never watch this program again.
   After finishing “Floating Dragon,” I went to sleep and dreamt I was dancing in Miami, right on the street, with the lovely and talented Constance Zimmer, Madison Stone, star of “Harley Girls,” and “Evil Toons,” and who is also very lovely and talented, and Suzanne Pleshette, to the song “Footloose.” All joined in. Pretty soon everybody in Miami was dancing. 
   It was just wonderful.


1  October   Wednesday   Day 81


   “Zen is easy. It is only selfishness which is problematic and painful.” -Shen T’ Sing

   After exercise, meditation, and shower, I cleaned my lonely room, and made a nice breakfast, scrambled eggs,  jalapenos, and smoky cheddar and Swiss cheese. 
   It was wonderful too. 
   I used the day room’s computer to write a letter to Monzano. Hopefully I’ll be able to print it tomorrow at the One Stop.
   I met Oscar, an old acquaintance of mine from Harbor Light, at the 1:00 ASAP meeting. A nice black gentleman who at one time was a professional rock and roll harmonica player. We used to perform together at the karaoke meeting on Wednesday nights in the so-called church across the street from the Weingart, performing Led Zeppelin songs mostly (he’d play the harp and I’d sing. I’m a very good singer). Oscar is now putting a demo together to submit to a record company.
   He told me of another Harbor Light alumni, a guy named Boon, who had just gone through 37 thousand bucks on crack cocaine.
   I don’t no where he got that money, but he sure must have had a good time while it lasted.
   On second thought, he probably didn’t.
   I checked in at the SRHT office after the meeting, then checked my mail. While filling out my CA7 form at the post office, a young and pretty Hispanic girl bought some stamps from the stamp machine that they have there for the purpose of buying stamps, which happened to be right next to where I was standing. She must have paid with a $20 bill, as she seemed surprised upon receiving fifteen $1 coins as change.
   “Yeah,” I said to her. “That sucks doesn’t it?”
   “This is how you get change back,” she asked me.
   “Umm Huumm. I put’em in a piggy bank.” Which is true. I do put them in a piggy bank.
   “Well I guess I’ll do that too. I have a new baby...”
   “Oh, congratulations!” I said in an appropriately congratulatory manner.
   “Thank you.”
   “Take care now.” I left.
   This would be the highlight of my day. Some small, precious contact with a normal, responsible person, who mistook me for one as well.
   I wrote after returning to my lonely room. Dinner consisted of about a half can of chile mac, of which I augmented with a smoked sausage sandwich upstairs.
   At 7:00 I watched Charlie Rose while reading about closing criminal records in California, and ice flows on Mars. The foreign minister of Egypt was on tonight, so naturally Steve Martin, the actor and banjo player, was the second guest. 
   Well anytime you get these two together you know all hell is going to break loose (sort of like Marilyn Monroe and Sophia Loren), and tonight was not an exception.
   I watched “The West Wing,” again, and this week’s show was 100% better than last week’s, helped out by the appearance of two of my dream girls, Annabeth Gish (formerly of the “X-Files”), and the magnificent Mary Louise Parker.
   Then I watched a new show, the series premier actually (I knew this because the words “Series Premier” appeared at the bottom left hand corner of the television screen for an intolerably long time, as if ABC didn’t trust me to figure this out myself, or that it even mattered. And while we’re on the subject, what’s up with all of the network’s sneaky little intrusions on the movies and television shows I’m watching with these annoying advertisements at the bottom of our screens! It’s not enough that we have to put up with endless commercials? It makes me just want to scream! But I get overly excited. And yet, if this is what unrestricted capitalism has wrought, then I long for a turn to Marxism-Leninism... it’s come to that, I’m afraid), of “Karen Sisco.”  Produced by Danny DeVito, I only watched because I’m secretly in love with the series’ star, the beautiful and talented, Carla Gugino, who until now has been working in feature films. 
   I first became aware of Carla around August 29th of 1971, when I was about 15 years old and I sensed her presence in the world. I became aware of her work, and finally got to see her, in Brian De Palma’s 1998 thriller, “Snake Eyes,” which also starred that acting fool, Nicolas Cage. 
   Now I’m not one to drop names, oh heaven’s no, but I first learned of this show from it’s creator, Elmore (Elmore) Leonard himself, whose book, “Out of Sight,” the show is based on. I saw him being interviewed at the UCLA book fair, months and months ago. A movie was also made from that book, starring Jennifer Lopez and George Clooney (who I have a tremendous amount of respect for, due in part because of his attitude toward the roles he chooses, and his television production of “Fail Safe”), with Jennifer playing the Sisco character, that Carla has now taken over, and for my money, is better suited for. The premier show was basically a repeat of the film and book. Karen gets involved with a bank robber, the difference being at the end she doesn’t let him get away... she shoots him.
   That a way Carla!
   I read from Straub’s “The Hellfire Club,” before going to sleep and dreaming I was in a prise fight in Vegas with Carla Gugino as my opponent. 
   She was dressed inappropriately for the occasion, in a short white skirt and blouse, the same clothes she wore in “Snake Eyes,” frankly, donning a blonde wig and glasses.
   I’m afraid my concentration was a bit off. She beat the holy crap out me, then to add insult to injury, she shot me in the foot.
   I hurt real bad.