The Greatest Thing

Last week was another busy one, filled with wonder and promise. It started out of course with the discovery of a possible triffid infiltration of our garden. I checked them Sunday morning as I watered, and I swear it looks like they've changed positions. And whenever I look away from the six suspect plants, I get the feeling that they're undulating, making mocking gestures toward me behind my back, but when I look directly at them, they are still, just swaying in the gentle wind.
I'm going to keep my eye on those bastards.
Paul left his nice industrial sized dolly (a conveyance consisting of a wheeled platform for moving heavy objects) outside of his office and forgot about it. I took it upon myself to rescue said dolly from being stolen, and took it to my box to spend the night. We had a good time.
Tuesday, another grueling yoga session with just Greg, my lovely case manager, Erin and I, showing up (Paul was not feeling well, or so he says). My lovely yoga instructor, Beth, told us that that was the norm after a "challenging" session the previous week. "After a hard week," Beth said, "they'll usually skip a session. They'll be back next week, and we'll practice some relaxation posses."
Which meant that this week there was no reason not not to have another "challenging" session.
In about twenty minutes Beth had us in an inverted "U" position, with our respective butts high in the air, with Beth going, "Push back a little further, Rick, yes, like that, good, good, really stretch those back muscles, and spread out your shoulder blades like this, see, yes, see how much more challenging that is. Now hold... hold... hold..."
Sweet Jesus, mother of God!
"That's good Rick, your sweating, good, let the body release those toxins..."
I didn't know I had so many toxins in me. My new yoga clothes were drenched.
I wanted to try the "Octopus Pose," but Beth said, "What's that?"
"Yeah, demonstrate it for us Rick," my lovely case manager requested.
"I can't."
"Come on, do it for us," Erin said.
"You need two people," I said.
"Oh... dirty."
Sex, sex, sex, that's all these women think about.
"Listen, an octopus has eight legs, right?"
"Yes."
"That's why you need two people," I explained.
I want to master the "Dead Rock" position tomorrow.
Wednesday we had our monthly Resident Meeting, where the resident's of both of the hotels that Erin and Paul look after meet, and discuss what Erin and Paul have to discuss. About twenty-five residents showed up, mostly because they know food will be served afterwards, usually pizza.
Erin and Paul began the meeting by asking us all to state something good that happened to them during the month. When it got to be my turn I told them that I had saved myself a dollar by going to the library that morning and getting a book that they were holding for me until the day before. If I had waited an hour or two more, the library people would have sent the book back to wherever it came from, and fine me a dollar for wasting their time and trouble.
Erin copped out and said something like she got to the meeting on time with the pizzas. Big deal.
Anyway, afterwards two pieces of pizza were handed out to those who came, and with seven of them we had just enough for everyone, including Paul, Erin, and Evelyn, their boss, who just because she authorized the funds to pay for the pizza, thought that she was entitled to some, even though she was not at the meeting.
Corporate arrogance.
Thursday we cooked nice breakfast burritos at the Cooking Club. I cooked two types of sausage, spicy and non-spicy. Erin doesn't like the spicy.
"That's the non-spicy, right Rick?" she asked me.
"Sure it is Erin." Something in my voice made her suspicious I think.
"Don't mess with me Rick."
"I would never, ever, mess with..."
"I'll beat you up..."
I made sure she got the non-spicy.
Earl cooked the eggs and vegetables, and together with the sausage, cheese, salsa, and sour cream, good food was had by all. More than enough for everybody. We even had a whole flat of eggs left over that Erin gave to me as there will be no Cooking Club this week. A whole flat! They're in my refrigerator right now! I've never had so many eggs before. Please excuse me while I eat one.
Uuuuummmm, that was good! If I could give you one, dear readers, rest assured I would.
Then on Friday, Movie Day, I brought down my little color TV set and DVD player, so we could watch, The Salton Sea, with Val Kilmer and Vincent D'Onofrio, a study in film noir, with what I believe has all the elements of an American Classic.
I had to bring down my little TV because residents had screwed up the big TV that is already down there to the point that a DVD player cannot be connected to it.
Silly residents.
Erin remembered to bring popcorn and sodas. I had a nice Bologna and cheese sandwich. And despite the DVD sticking a couple of times (I hate it when they do that), a pretty good crowd showed up to enjoy the film.
Billy Friedkin's Sorcerer next.
And the Skid Row Housing Trust newsletter came out, with a picture of me on the front cover. I don't know why Molly put my picture on the cover. The newsletter is supposed to attract donors, not drive them away.
I was sitting in my box working Thursday evening, with my door open, when Hardy appeared with a copy of the newsletter, which he gave to me.
"Good God," I said.
"I know," Hardy said, "This is supposed to attract donors, not drive them away."
"Very funny, Hardy."
Because of the newsletter I received an Email from a fellow veteran, a SRHT donor, and former Senior Master Sergeant of the Air Force, kind of like a Senior Chief Petty Officer in the civilized branch of the armed services. He seemed to enjoy the piece I wrote, and told me of losing his own brother to the ravages of addiction. I'm terribly sorry for that loss Senior Master Sergeant. I've lost many friends as well, and by all rights I shouldn't be alive today. However, we have little choice other than to make do and move on.
I was going to relate a story I told Erin recently, about one of the greatest things that have happened to me since I've been living downtown, but this post is already over a thousand words long, so we'll have to wait for The Greatest Thing 2, which may or may not have something to do with the picture above.