Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Election Night 2010

Chris and Keith

Lovely Rachel



Big Eddie

Okey dokey, this is going to be a very different kind of post than is usually featured in that it will not be prefabricated, so to speak. Rather I will write of the election results as they come in using MSNBC as my source of election information, mainly due to the fact that I can't stand the other so-called news outlets. This will be more of a stream of consciousness type of affair, and I for one am extremely happy to share this event with you, dear readers. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Right now it is 3:42PM PST in real time and I'm watching Republican asshat Mike Pence tell everyone that tonight will be a victory for the country, not a particular political party, promising that no new taxes will be levied upon anyone, meaning of course his first priority will be to extend the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy, and of course he does not offer any explanation on how the Republicans will pay for it. Look for this kind of crap from the Republicans for the rest of the evening, and if they win the House of Representatives, for the next two years.
Alright, I'm ready to settle in for the next eight hours or so (to hell with what happens in Alaska and Hawaii. True the Senate race in Alaska is interesting, and I have no idea how it's going to turn out, but unless the fate of the Senate rests on that particular state, I'm going to bed so I can get up bright and early to write about it tomorrow. We shall see.
I've got some popcorn, nuts and berrys, some cabbage of course, soyjoy bars, cheese (I've got mozzarella, I've got cheddar, I've got Monterey jack, and I've got some reduced sodium mild cheddar that's already been shredded for me. I've got all kinds of cheese), frankfurters, beans with turkey meat in them, lentils and rice. I've got some bagels. I've got my slinky and super durable Van Helsing plastic cup. I've got plenty of coffee, but I'll be switching to tea in a little while (as is my custom). I've got some sour cream and Bologna. Herkimer's here. I think I'm set.
I have some oatmeal too. Quick cooking.
The voting polls in Indiana, Kentucky, and a few other states are closing right about now 4:00PM, and Keith Olbermann is telling me that Tea Party candidate Rand Paul will win in Kentucky. Pat Leahy is expected to win in Vermont, with two other Republicans projected to win their Senate seats with a pick up of one seat for the Republicans (Paul). How they have the nerve to project these results when the polls just freaking closed I have no idea.
Once in the Senate, Rand Paul will be able to single handedly filibuster the upcoming vote to lift the over all debt limit of the country (which his stated Tea Party-Libertarian principles dictate he must do), thereby bringing the U.S. government to a standstill, and therefore creating panic and disruptions throughout the entire world.
By the way I hope you all appreciate the time, effort, and sacrifice I'm putting into this tonight. I'll be missing the 32nd airing of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith," on the FX channel at eight o'clock.
North Carolina, Ohio, and West Virginia are going to close in about ten minutes. How exciting.
It looks like Indiana, which voted for Barack Obama in 2008, is going back to the dark side this evening. How sad.
I've just finished cooking some nice rice to have maybe with my beans and turkey meat... with some cabbage... and peanut butter later. Can't wait.
Around the country there are some important ballot measures being voted on tonight. Most of the following information comes from Julianne Escobedo Shepherd from AlterNet, who got her information from Clayton Ashley of Talking Points Memo.
Marijuana is being voted on in California, making it completely legal with Proposition 19. Oregon's Medical Supply System Act would also let the state expand it's medical marijuana laws establishing a registered supply system and clarifying the amount of the drug one can possess. Arizona and Nebraska are voting on legalizing medical marijuana, which if passed in Arizona will make my dear sister happy. Very happy (don't tell my niece!).
Colorado's anti-choice Amendment 62 would ban abortion in the state across the board, in all circumstances, the health of the mother not withstanding, and in cases of rape and incest. Fortunately this is likely to fail. Let's hope so.
AB 32, the Global Warming Act of 2006 in California's landmark clean air legislation has hardly begun taking effect when Proposition 23 came onto the ballot. This Proposition is backed mostly by two Texas oil companies, Valero and Tesoro, and would suspend any state laws requiring reductions, like AB 32, until the unemployment rate in the state drops to 5.5 percent in four consecutive quarters, which has happened like about three times in California's history. In other words outside business interests are trying to stymie important environmental efforts in order to continue business as usual and keep on polluting, all to keep acquiring the all mighty buck. This should fail as well.
I've just opened up some nuts and fruit mix. It's now 4:55PM which means some 15 state polls are going to close soon. Some of the races that are now being reported on are simply too close to call at present. As they should be. Just ate a cashew and raisin.
Marco Rubio (R) is now expected to win the Senate seat in Florida. Christopher Coons (D) expected to win in Delaware (thank God!), knocking out the hopes for ex-witch, Tea Party candidate (and real cute) Christine O'Donnell. Most of the other races are too close to call at this time, which is 5:04.
These nuts and fruit are good.
My neighbor Lester the Molester wants to borrow some tuna from me. He says he'll buy me some eggs later. I gave him 5 ounces of the endangered species.
This just in... "Saw 3D" made $22.5 million over the weekend. Just thought you'd like to know.
I'm getting an Email report right now about record youth turnout in California which may have something to do with Proposition 19. The University of San Diego has run out of voting materials there's so many dopers... er, voters at the polls.
They are calling some races now in the Senate and House, but these are mostly incumbent races who were expected to win and do not change the percentages of party members as of yet. I will limit my reports to candidates that have been in the national spotlight for one reason or another, or who will tip the balance of power in Congress simply because I can't type fast enough to accurately report on all of the races.
Poor Linda McMahon of wrestling fame seems to have lost her bid for the Senate to the Democrat Richard Blumenthal. Here's a little tip for future candidates. It's probably not a good idea to run for national office with videos of your husband forcing a woman to get on their hands and knees and bark like a dog, and videos of you kicking men in the nuts floating around. Just saying.
Blue dog Democrat Blanche Lincoln seems to have lost her reelection bid in Arkansas to John Boozman, thereby elevating the total gain in Senate seats for the Republicans to 2. They need 10 to gain the majority. Blanche was expected to lose this race. Maybe calling one's self a Democrat and acting like a Republican isn't such a good idea.
The Senate seat in West Virginia will remain in Democratic hands with an expected win for Gov. Joe Manchin. The folks on MSNBC, Keith, Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews, Eugene Robinson (the only one there without his own show, and the only Pulitzer prize winner of the bunch), Lawrence O'Donnell, and Ed Schultz reporting from Las Vegas for some reason, all tell me that with Manchin's win the Senate will be very, very difficult for the Republicans to take it over.
Very good. I'm going to eat some more nuts now. And fruit. Time 5:41.
I guess they don't pay any federal income tax in Washington State. Their Initiative 1098 however would create taxes on those making $200,000 or more ($400,000 for joint filers) which would be applied to education and health issues, and would lower property, business and occupation taxes. Former friends and business rivals Steve Jobs and Bill Gates both favor this initiative even though it would affect them directly through higher taxes. I think they both can afford it.
Alan Grayson, Rep from Florida, one of the most outspoken members of the House ("The Republican health plan is to hurry up and die!") seems to have lost his reelection bid. That is a shame. Screw you Florida, you Philistines.
13 states have now closed their polls, and MSNBC is now projecting the Republicans will take the majority in the House of Representatives by 39 seats. 198 for the Democrats to 237 for the Republicans. North Dakota has picked up a Republican Senate seat making their net gains a total of 3. Time 6:04.
Remember that time America. That's when you voted for regression and ignorance.
Illinois's Governor Recall Amendment is just that. It will allow the voters to recall the governor. Rod Blagojevich may or may not have inspired this.
Rhode Island's Name Change Amendment, Question 1, will allow the residents of that state to change the state's name from "State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations," which apparently is the technical name of the state currently, to "State of Rhode Island." Hell, I'll go for that.
The Internet machine is now telling me that Andrew M. Cuomo, a Democrat and Mario's son, will gain the Governorship in New York, defeating Jimmy McMillan who believed, and I agree with him, the rent's just TOO DAMN HIGH! TOO DAMN HIGH!
I've just finished my nuts and fruit. The time is 6:36.
I'm watching Christine O'Donnell's concession speech. I guess God didn't want her to win after all.
Maybe he's on vacation.
Don't worry folks, she'll soon have her own show on Fox "News," and be Palin's running mate in 2012.
Okay the time is now 6:43, and I'm going to close the door to my box now before Lester comes back.
I closed my door just in time. I can hear him roaming around out there.
Alright, this is an initiative I can certainly get behind as an animal rights activist. Missouri's Proposition B: Dog Breeding Regulation Initiative will require the state's dog breeders to feed said dogs on a daily basis. And regularly. I really don't know what to say about this. They weren't feeding their dogs daily? Freaking asshats! Yes, I guess you have to pass this law to make some people human.
6 more states just closed their polls and asshat Senator John McCain is expected to win in Arizona. The Nevada Senate race between Majority Leader Harry Reid and moron Tea Party candidate Sharron Angle is too close to call at this time.
Hey Nevada! How can you seriously contemplate electing someone who won't answer questions on how they will work in the Senate to the voters of your state? She won't talk to the media, and she's a national embarrassment. I mean really. If you do this, I for one will never go to Vegas again.
And I'm talking about Angle, not Reid.
With 16% of the vote in, the people in Minnesota are letting the insane Michele Bachman (see Michelle, Ma Belle, from April and May of 2009) back into the House of Representatives 50 to 43 percent. Really Minnesota? What the hell? You have the good sense to elect Al Franken to the Senate... and Bachman again? You've been awake for the last two years haven't you? What? Is half the state on crack or something? Get some treatment Minnesota! Now, before it's too late! We all love you, and are here for you.
All the Republicans are talking about tonight, those who have been interviewed this evening so far, and as we expected, is extending the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy without saying how they'll pay for it, and how we need to learn to live within our means (except for the wealthy I guess). This amounts to what are called austerity measures. We'll discuss austerity measures very soon, dear readers.
I'm going to cook some cabbage now. I don't know why. Time 7:27.
One of the best Senators for the progressive side, Russ Feingold, is now expected to lose his seat in Wisconsin, giving the Republicans 4 pick up seats so far. Sadly, this was expected.
Well Wisconsin, I hope you get what you voted for. I sincerely do.
Boil the cabbage for about eight minutes in the microwave, salt and butter... not bad.
I hated cabbage when I was a kid. I eat anything now. Except for bugs.
Alright, in one minute the polls right here in California will close, at 8:00. I hope my lovely case manager, Erin was able to vote.
All the races on the west coast are too early to call right now.
My friend Laura Prepon just offered to send me an autographed picture of herself. I said yes. This has nothing to do with the election however.
The Citizens United case is making itself apparent in this election, as many of the races where Democrats have lost are due to massive influxes of cash into their opponents campaigns by outside and unknown sources. Thank you Supreme Court.
The Oklahoma International Law Amendment, State Question 755, if passed, will prevent the imposition of Sharia Law in Oklahoma's courts. According to Rep. Rex Duncan, this it "will constitute a pre-emptive strike against Sharia law coming to Oklahoma." I feel so much safer now.
Good news! With 52% of the votes counted in Nevada, Harry Reid is leading Sharron Angle 52 to 43%. Very good.
And our friends in Denver will decide on setting up a commission to track space aliens. Initiative 300 requires the city to accept reports of UFO sightings on its Web page. This is in response to the initiative's sponsor, Jeff Peckman belief that the federal government is monitoring the aliens, but refusing to publish information about them. The Denver ballot measure calls on the new Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission to review the risks and benefits of communicating with the extraterrestrials. Well considering how many times the bug eyed bastards have abducted Erin I should say we should be monitoring them! To hell with the economy, home foreclosures, unemployment, and two "wars." Keep our women safe I say!
Let the aliens get their own girls, damn it!
John Boehner is making a victory speech claiming the real winners tonight are the American people. He's actually apologizing for the policies that the Republicans put into place that have dragged this country down a sink hole, blaming the Democrats, and for which he hopes the American people won't remember. He's telling the President they are willing to work with him as long as he does everything they want. OMG he's crying again. He's making me physically ill, and he's so full of crap it's coming out of his ears.
My cabbage just came up.
Here is something that makes me feel much better. My Senator, Barbara Boxer is expected to win her reelection bid with 20% of the vote in, with her leading Carly Fiorina 51 to 44 percent! Hey Carly, why don't you go over to China and try and get a job there. You sent most of our other jobs overseas, please go along with them.
This result, along with the just announced reelection of Senator Daniel Inouye in Hawaii, almost ensures the Democrats will retain control of the Senate. Time 9:05.
The Tea Party? Not such a great night. Of all the races, Senate and House so far, 35 wins, 54 loses. 64 races still to be decided. None of the 4 Senate pick ups have been affiliated with the Tea Party. Take that Sarah "Grisly" Palin and Michele Bachman!
The Internet machine is telling my that Jerry Brown, Governor of California from 1975 to 1983, has won his bid for a third term, against Republican billionaire Meg Whitman. Money can't buy everything this tells us. Counting the votes, Meg paid about $100 for every vote she got... with her own money!
Congratulations Jerry.
NBC news is now projecting Harry Reid will win his reelection bid to remain the Majority Leader in the Senate, against Tea Party Candidate Sharron Angle. He beat her in her own county and home town (Reno). Maybe running away from the press isn't such a good campaign strategy.
Thank you Nevada.
I'm still not going to Vegas soon though.
I can't stand Las Vegas.
It seems that Proposition 23 in California has been defeated. In the early returns, 57.4 percent cast their votes against the measure, with 42.6 percent voting in favor of it. A great night for the environment!
Colorado's anti-choice Amendment 62 has failed. Very good.
Washington state has rejected a new income tax for the rich, with Initiative 1098 being defeated.
Time now 10:12.
This just in. Alaska, with about a 33% of the votes counted, the write in candidates are ahead 40%, to Republican Joe Miller's 34%, and to Democrat Scott McAdams' 25. The Alaska rules dictate the envelopes that the write in candidates names are in will not be opened for two weeks I'm told, I don't know why. But Senator Lisa Murkowski, who lost the Republican primary to Miller, and who is running as a write in candidate seems to be ahead. If she wins she will be the first write in candidate to do so since Strom Thurmond in 1954.
Keith Olbermann said finding out the winner in this race, thanks to Alaskan election rules, will be like opening a box of Cracker Jack, who knows who the write in candidate will be.
I guess what has been on everyone's mind this evening is the results of the Oklahoma International Law Amendment, State Question 755. Well it seems to have passed! So at least one state now is safe from having is the sacred law of Islam thrust upon it.
Come on California! We can't let Oklahoma show us up. I mean really.
Relieved at the news I will now eat a frankfurter, even though it is so late. I will put mustard on it.
I ate a corn dog instead, which I got from the Hippie Kitchen today. With mustard.
The New York Times is stating the Democrats will retain control of the Senate. Time 10:34.
And it seems that the Californians have rejected legalizing marijuana for now. I don't know why. They like being $19 billion in state debt I suppose. Taxing the sale of weed would have helped that you see. I voted yes, but I guess all the old people besides myself need to die off so the state can get it's head out of it's ass (we voted for Prop 8 remember) and make legal this drug that is so much less harmful than alcohol and nicotine. It will happen. Maybe next year.
Dear Rachel Maddow has commented tonight that Harry Reid's win is a huge upset for the Republicans. I believe that's true, and it makes me very happy because I don't like the Republicans. Some of you may have noticed. So it's with a happy heart that I'm watching Reid make his victory speech right now (time 10:54). It's been a hell of a night. I'm sorry for the country we lost the house.
It is not my intention to analyze the results of the election tonight. We will do that by and by. Nothing much has really changed, except the President's chances for reelection in 2012 may be a little better now. There will still be gridlock in Congress. The President's agenda to move this country in a forward direction will still be hampered and obstructed by the Republicans who place party before country. It is just too sad really that the voters in America could not see that giving an amount of power back to the very people who caused the problems the voters are now experiencing, is not going to help them at all! On the contrary, it is going to hurt them.
So I hope they feel a little better emotionally right now. I hope they feel a little better and they've got their anger out of their system, because tomorrow they're going to have to start living with the consequences of their actions. Perhaps they should consider anger management classes.
I'll tell you one thing. My job is going to be a bit more interesting now. It can get really boring when your own party is in charge of everything.
But I'd rather have it boring, than have the country that I love head back in the wrong direction.
Such is life.
And... we shall see.
Now I will watch Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert make fun of everything.
Good night dear friends.

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