Thursday, July 24, 2014

In Remembrance of Riley Ann Sawyers and Lilly Belle Burke




I believe there are monsters born in the world to human parents…. They are accidents and no one’s fault, as used to be thought. Once they were considered the visible punishments for concealed sins. And just as there are physical monsters, can there not be mental or psychic monsters born? The face and body may be perfect, but if a twisted gene or a malformed egg can produce physical monsters, may not the same process produce a malformed soul? -John Steinbeck, “East of Eden”


   On their anniversary, for as long as Joyce’s Take is active and being published, as much as it is possible, I will post the stories below of Riley Ann Sawyers and Lilly Belle Burk, who were brutally murdered two years apart, on July 25th, 2007, and July 24th, 2009 respectively. 



   Riley Ann

Sunday, September 20, 2009

   It's terrifying to write this. So I won't. The following are actual excerpts from various news reports:
   On Oct. 29, 2007, fisherman Robert Spinn of Bayou Vista found a storage container on an uninhabited island about a mile offshore in Galveston Bay, Texas. It contained cement and a blonde toddler wrapped in three plastic bags. "I ripped the bags (in the container) open with some fishing pliers. I saw a shoe. I knew it was a person." Sheriff’s investigators named the girl “Baby Grace” and embarked on 26-day media blitz to confirm her identity.
   Nellie Zeigler heard about “Baby Grace” on a talk radio program and found an artist’s sketch of her on the Internet.
   The toddler's identity was a mystery for weeks until Sheryl Sawyers of Ohio, saw an artist's sketch of the girl and told authorities in Texas she thought it was her granddaughter. The call from Sheryl Sawyers led authorities to Royce Clyde Zeigler II (24) and Kimberly Dawn Trenor (19), who had invented a story that their daughter, Riley Ann Sawyers had been taken away by child welfare officials in Ohio.
   Riley was born and lived in Ohio until her mother Kimberly separated from Robert Sawyers, and took Riley to Texas last summer. Kimberly met Royce Zeigler playing the online game World of Warcraft, and had an online relationship with him.
   Kimberly's defense attorney portrayed Trenor as a scared 19-year-old girl who had moved to Texas from Ohio to marry a man she met while playing an online game, and after two brief encounters. She said Riley's father, her former boyfriend, had assaulted her and Zeigler was her "knight in shining armor, her Texas cowboy."
   They married June 1st, 2007, and settled in Spring, Texas.
   Although Zeigler's mother Nellie, and her husband didn’t approve of “ready-made marriages,” she said the family opened their home to Trenor and Riley and quickly came to love and adore the vibrant, charismatic and intelligent toddler who brightened their lives.
   Nellie Zeigler recalled going to the couple’s home in June to deliver milk and snacks, saying she knocked on the door, but it took Trenor a while to answer. "Kim had a belt wrapped around her shoulder," Nellie Zeigler testified.
   The following week, Nellie Zeigler picked up Riley on Saturday morning, eventually changed
her diaper and was disgusted with what she saw.
   “Her little butt was bruised, greenish, yellowish, purplish, and I got mad,” Mrs. Zeigler said. “I
let her watch cartoons, anxious for Kim and Royce to come over."
   Nellie Zeigler told the couple she disapproved of the belt discipline, saying both dropped their heads."Mom. This is never going to happen again," Nellie said of how her son replied. "After that, I never saw bruises on her again."
   The weekends of mall shopping and bonding ended abruptly with Riley’s death July 25, 2007, and Nellie Zeigler would spend the next four months agonizing over the whereabouts of the “sunshine of our lives.”
   Nellie Zeigler eventually learned Ohio officials didn’t have Riley, and she and her husband confronted Trenor, asking her why she wouldn’t tell authorities her girl was kidnapped.“My husband said, ‘Kim. You’re lying,’ and the third time he asked, she jumped up and starts to cuss us out,” Nellie Zeigler testified. “She shot the finger at us and said ‘F---you! F---you! F---you!’”
   The confrontation continued upstairs, Nellie said. "What kind of mother are you?’” Nellie Zeigler said. “‘You show no emotion. You never talk about her. You never seem to care where
she's at.' I'm crying and she's smiling at me."
   The two had more heated words, when Trenor said, “You’re going to pay for this,” Nellie Zeigler testified. The couple left, she said.
   Royce Zeigler worked for a company contracted to create schedules for petrochemical companies, earning $54,000 annually. The fatal beating happened after Zeigler stayed home from work to make sure his wife was following his discipline plan, the defense said.
   According to Trenor's attorney, Tommy Stickler Jr., Zeigler wanted Trenor to spank Riley with a belt when she failed to say things like "please" and "yes sir" or "no sir." Zeigler didn't believe Trenor was doing it, however, because the 2-year-old's behavior wasn't changing. A list was found by authorities after the arrest of the couple for the murder of Riley, the list, called "Rules for Riley," included such things as "being polite," "behaves in public," "toys stay in her room" and "listen to mom & me." There was space for a 10th item on the list but it was left blank.
   During her opening statement, Assistant District Attorney Kayla Allen detailed for jurors the day that she said Riley Ann died for forgetting to say "please" and "yes, sir. "Allen said that on July 25th, 2007, Trenor and Zeigler disciplined Riley by whipping her with a belt, pushing her head against a pillow and holding her head under water. She said Zeigler grabbed Riley and tossed her across the room, fracturing her skull. An autopsy concluded the skull fractures caused her death. Riley died of three skull fractures she received when Zeigler, threw the child across the room, authorities said.
   Riley Ann Sawyers tried to stop her mother and stepfather from beating her to death by reaching out to her mother and saying, "I love you," assistant district attorney Kayla Allen told jurors earlier in the day during her opening statement. The toddler's pleas didn't stop her mother from brutalizing her, the prosecutor said. "To the very end, Riley said, 'I love you' to her mom. She's reaching out," Allen said. "That's her lifeline, to her mother. What does Kim do after hearing her say I love you? She starts beating her."
   "I said we have to get her to a hospital. (Zeigler) said, 'No we can't. We'll go to jail,' " Trenor said in the videotape, crying. "There came a point where she stopped breathing. He started doing CPR on the floor. He took her ... and handed her over to me. I could just feel her going cold."
   At the defense table, Trenor's eyes teared up as she watched the videotape on a large screen.
   Several jurors wiped away tears.
   Galveston County Chief Medical Examiner Stephen Pustilnik Testified that any one of three skull fractures he found during his autopsy could have killed Riley. He said that it would have been apparent within seconds of one of the fractures that Riley was in need of medical help. Symptoms included a change in body temperature, headache and the inability to stand up, he said, all symptoms described by Trenor in her statement to investigators. She said that Zeigler accused Riley of faking when she was unable to stand.
   After Riley was killed, beaten so badly that Trenor said Zeigler complained of it making his shoulder sore, the couple bought a plastic container, partially filled it with cement, stuffed her beaten body inside and stored it in a shed for two months. They tried to bury it in a wooded area north of their home, but when that failed, they dumped it in Galveston Bay in September.
   The seven-woman, five man jury took less than two hours to convict Kimberly Trenor of capital murder in the slaying of her 2-year-old daughter. Trenor will receive an automatic life sentence without parole because prosecutors did not seek the death penalty due to technical reasons peculiar to Texas law. Jury foreman Randal Rothschild said it didn't take the panel long to reach a verdict because we had all the evidence. Apparently the jury felt it was pretty cut and dried. As his eyes teared up, Rothschild added, "It was a very emotional trial."
   Zeigler will be tried for capital murder in a separate trial. No date has been set yet.
   The island where the toddler's body was found was officially renamed "Riley's Island." A wooden cross bearing a plaque with her name was placed there as a memorial, but Hurricane Ike washed it away on Sept. 13.
   A Mr. Miller, who made that cross, said he is making a new one and hopes that he and Riley's family can place it on the island later.
   "It's sad the cross is gone. But as much damage as the hurricane did, I was afraid the whole island would be wiped away," he said. "God did not want that to happen. The cross will be put there again in her honor."
   In Mentor, Ohio, pink balloons were released into the wintry sky after the funeral for Riley. Some of the balloons had cards attached with her picture and an address where the finder could return it to her family in northeast Ohio. The balloon release coincided with similar releases around the world in memory of the toddler, who had been nicknamed Baby Grace.
   "People all over the world adored this child. She was loved and cherished by everyone," Riley's great-uncle, Mike Nebelski, said in a eulogy.
   "Let's not forget Riley. Let's not forget all the other kids out there who are missing," he said.
   After the service and balloon release, the funeral procession left for Mentor Cemetery for burial of the 36-inch coffin. Inside was an urn with the girl's ashes and various other items, including a dress and a stuffed animal toy.
   Riley Ann Sawyers was with us for 866 days. Her online memorial can be found here.

   On November 6, 2009, Royce Zeigler was convicted of capital murder and received an automatic sentence of life imprisonment without the possibility of parole


Lilly Belle

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

   Last Friday night, after a busy, consummated work week, I relaxed while enjoying a meal of Weenie Tots and mixed vegetables, watching the romantic comedy (chick flick) “He's Just Not That Into You,” starring Drew Barrymore, Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johansson, Frangela, and my favorite contemporary actress, Jennifer Connelly. There may have been one or two male actors in the cast somewhere, or else how could the case be made that men are pigs.
   My answer to the ever ongoing observation that men are pigs because they do not follow the dictates of women's evolutionary mandates, is simply this... if women were men they'd act like pigs too (or appear to at least)!
   I must admit the only reason that I watched the film was to see Ms Connelly, in what for her was a rare appearance in a basically comedic role, her reputation (and Academy Award) being based primarily in the dramatic genre. I think she came through with flying colors, as I really enjoyed her character, and sympathized with that character's unique priorities (she gets more upset about her husband lying to her about his continued smoking, than his affair with Johansson). Her scene with contactor Luis Guzman was hilarious, and I hope she will attempt more straight forward comedy in the future.
   After the film I felt the need to balance out all the hilariousness with Bill Moyers Journal on PBS. “Moyers.” The former Press Secretary to President Lyndon Johnson, and a liberal commentator, explored the issue of national health care that is currently winding its way through Congress, the concensus tonight being that the medical insurance and pharmaceutical industries have already received so many concessions from lawmakers that they are going to come out of this as winners no matter what congress passes, and that tax payer backed subsidies will continue to flow through their big pockets. Still, they don't want a public option as competition, and they expecially don't want single payer (universal) health care, which they have effectively lobbied off the table. Which is why, one guest surmised, we should scrap the current bill, and return to the single payer option. I tend to agree.
   The second half of the show explored the possible connection between extreme right wing attack talk radio and television hosts, such as Michael Savage (Weiner), Bill O'Rielly, and Glen Beck, labeling those that disagree with them as traitors, communists, and murderers (O'Rielly repeatedly calling abortion provider, Dr. George R. Tiller, a mass murderer (who was later murdered inside his own church), and Beck stating he'd like to kill Michael Moore) etc., and actual acts of violence carried out against these targets, or those who closely... or remotely, represent them.
   How could there possibly be a connection?!
   At least the show was an hour’s respite from the ongoing controversy of a Cambridge MA, police Sargeant arresting Professor Henry Gates for disorderly conduct within his own home. Granted President Obama did not help matters much by calling the action stupid, but Erin's God! This story's been on the news twenty four/seven since it happened, being labeled as a blatant case of racial profiling. I think this story has received so much twenty four hour attention simply because the cable networks run twenty four hours, and as Stephie Miller points out, describing the confrontation as more of a "man thing," or macho encounter, than racial in nature. Again, I tend to agree.
   Enough already! Stop! I'm tired of hearing about it. Both of you go have a beer with Barack. There is no problem that cannot be solved with alcohol.
   Anyway, the very next day, a Saturday as it turns out, Jose and I planned to visit the Griffith Observatory, located conveniently enough in Griffith Park, in the hills above Hollywood, just east of the famous "Hollywood" sign.
   But first, before we left, nourishment must be procured. After transposing for a few hours, documents in the Salvation Diary series, at 7:00, I decided to stretch out for awhile, and went to the garden to water it.
   I found two cats out there, suspiciously close to our garden, hurriedly running away as I approached. They may have been running away because I was trying to squirt them with the hose I happened to be holding. They disappeared into the brush on the other side of the chain-link fence that is the eastern border of our garden.
   I also found two young men on the other side of the fence, which was very unusual as I had really never seen anyone out there before. They seemed to be taking measurements of some kind, thereby obscuring their obvious tresspassing with some form of legitimacy. Still I hosed them off thoroughly, much to their surprise and consternation. Angry shouts and threats of retribution were directed, I believe, in my direction. I made a hasty retreat.
   Next I made my way west on Sixth Street to Towne and waited patiently for some nice Asian people to arrive and hand out glazed donuts and Ramen noodle soup. They are connected with some church (I don't know which one as the printing on the vehicles they arrive in are written in Asian) and come every week around that time in the morning. When I got there they had not arrived yet, and I took my place in the small line that was starting to form. I was there for the tasty donuts.
   While I waited I couldn't help but notice two Asian gentlemen playing music right across the street from where I was standing. One man playing guitar, keyboards, and providing the lead vocals. His friend was playing the drums.
   They were almost impossible not to notice. They played some Credence Clear Water Revival songs, "California Dreaming" by The Mamas and the Papas, Eagles, etc. During a break the purpose of their display became apparent when the singer said we were all there celebrating God.
   I was there for the donuts.
   Soon the donut and noodle people came. The line had grown to over a block long. I got mine, seven donuts, and I took the soup too, then was on my way home.
   Unbeknownst to me, and unknown to me until Monday morning, approximately and hour and forty five minutes before I secured my 7 donuts, the body of Lily Belle Burk, age 17, was found near the intersection of Fifth St. and Alameda, about a block from my box. She was discovered by an employee of a nearby business, presumably the same gas station where Paul and I had inflated his dolly's tires a few days previously (see, Puzzles & Bricks). She was found in her own black Volvo, in the passenger seat, apparently having been bludgeoned to death and her neck slashed. There were signs of a struggle.
   She had left her home in Los Feliz the day before at about 2:30 to pick up some papers for her mother from the Southwestern University School of Law, where her mother worked as an adjunct professor. About an hour later she made calls to both of her parents asking them how she might get cash from an ATM machine using her credit card, something her card was not set up to do. Her parents state that she did not sound distressed.
   She did not return Friday night and her parents contacted police and filed a missing persons report.
   The next morning her body was discovered. Police estimate she had been dead from 5:00PM the day before.
   That Friday at 5:30PM, Charlie Samuel, aged 50, was arrested on suspicion of possessing drugs and drug paraphernalia on 3rd Street. His fingerprints were discovered in Lily's Volvo and is now being held on suspicion of murder without bail. Sources said Samuel had a previous history of assault with a deadly weapon, robbery, and kidnaping, and if he did indeed kill that lovely young girl I am ashamed that I am against the death penalty.
   From the LA Times: "The thing we want people to know about Lily is that she was a beautiful person and that she was looking forward to her life. She was funny, warm, kind and empathetic. She was deeply and widely loved," read the statement from her parents, Deborah Drooz and Gregory Burk, a Times freelancer who writes about pop music.
   Burk was supposed to begin her senior year at Oakwood School in North Hollywood in the fall.
   She was set to star in her high school's production of a David Mamet play and planned to volunteer helping the homeless this summer."
   Dear Erin [my case manager at the time], I hope your heaven is real, and Lily now resides there.
   My sincere condolences go to her parents, family, and friends.
   May she rest in peace.
   Update from NBC Los Angeles, May 28th 2010:

   Charlie Samuel was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole for the July 24th, 2009, slaying of Lily Belle Burk. During the sentencing hearing, he apologized to the girl's family.

   He pleaded guilty first-degree murder, kidnapping to commit robbery, second-degree robbery, attempted first-degree ATM robbery, carjacking and kidnapping for carjacking. He admitted special circumstance allegations of murder during a carjacking, kidnapping and robbery.

   The plea deal saved him from a possible death sentence.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Happy Birthday Amy Paffrath!


















































Picture Legend:

1. Ms Paffrath (it even says so down there at the bottom)
2. Young Amy
3. Gateway Arch in St. Louis
4. Gateway Arch  and St. Louis 32 years from now
5. Customer Service
6. Animated
7. Bobble Head Amy
8.  North Rhine-Westphalia
9.  Let the pictures begin! An early favorite
10 - 14. Examples of fitness
15. Depressed
16 - 21. Yoga!
22. Beth Dian Prandini
23.  University of Missouri Tiger Cheer Leaders
24. KNBC Burbank
25. Becoming popular
26. I have no idea what they talk about on this show
27. On The Walk of Fame
28. “Dinner at Eight”
29- 32. Amy and Astro
33. Another Astro
34. Cheating on Astro
35. Relaxing at Home After a Hard day at Work
36.  Drew
37. Wedding Day
38. The Bride
39. My Goodness!
40. Dating Naked, the First Show
41 - 43. Feet
44 & 45. Promoting “The Purge, Anarchy,” with Drew
46. Amy

   This afternoon it is my great pleasure and honor to give a great big happy birthday shout out to one of my favorite actresses, television hosts and personalities, the lovely and talented Amy Paffrath  (pronounced amy  p-a-ff-r-a-t-h)!  
   Amy Christine Paffrath was born at a very early age as a tiny female infant in St Louis, Missouri, which is right here in the good old United States of America, and is exactly the same city where my own cousin, Janet Joyce is living at this very moment. Imagine that.
   St Louis (38° 37′ 38″ N, 90° 11′ 52″ W, 38.627222, -90.197778) was named after Louis IX of France, of course, who lived a long time ago... in France, and was the only French king to become a saint. That’s why cities, and other stuff have been named after him. He built the Sainte-Chapelle, which was consecrated  (dedicated) in 1248 as a nice place to house the Crown of Thorns that Jesus Christ supposedly wore on his way to the crucifixion, and a piece of the True Cross he was crucified on, which Louis bought from the Emperor Baldwin II of Constantinople, and which cost him more than twice what he paid for the chapel.      
   Three major professional sports teams call St. Louis their home. The St. Louis Cardinals, which I believe is involved in baseball some how, the hockey team, St. Louis Blues, and the St. Louis Rams of the National Football League, which St. Louis stole from us here in Los Angeles in 1995.
   Curse you St. Louis!
   St. Louis is also the home to the largest Bosnian population in the world outside their homeland. The city experiences hot, humid summers and cold winters, just like Bosnia.
   Amy’s dad’s name is Mark, and her mom’s name is Mary, or M & M for short. She is one of seven children, with three brothers and a corresponding three sisters, Christy, Mark, Steven, Stacey, Matt and Brittany. It’s safe to say that Amy is either the oldest sibling, or the youngest, or somewhere in between. 
   I first became aware of Amy, and her work, from her appearance as a customer service representative for the Amazon Kindle, which is one of those newfangled electronic book learning devices, or as Wikipedia tells us: “The Amazon Kindle is a series of e-book readers designed and marketed by Amazon.com. Amazon Kindle devices enable users to shop for, download, browse, and read e-books, newspapers, magazines, blogs, and other digital media via wireless networking. The hardware platform, developed by Amazon.com subsidiary Lab126, began as a single device and now comprises a range of devices, including dedicated e-readers with E Ink electronic paper displays, and Android-based tablets with color LCD screens.”
   I have no idea what any of that means, and don’t want to know. It scares me a little. However, I just discovered via the Internet machine, that I can publish blog posts like the one you’re reading now, and my other stuff, on the Amazon Kindle, and it will be available to anyone... everywhere, throughout the world, just as it is now when I post on the Internet, only I may get paid for it. Not being concerned about being monetarily compensated for this work just yet, and not wishing to overly tax my dear readers during these strenuous economic times, I think I’ll just keep on doing what it is that I’m doing.
   But I’m sure the Amazon Kindle is a very fine device, and all of you should buy one immediately, saying Amy sent you.
   Anyway, here’s another example of one of her Kindle commercials.
   Isn’t she wonderful! She’s nice, and helpful, and empathetic, and knowledgeable, and pretty. Just the kind of customer representative that everyone wants to deal with. 
   I worked as a customer service representative for twenty or more years at AT&T, AAA, and Blue Cross, and every single representative is exactly like her...  but not as pretty, or knowledgeable, or empathetic, or helpful and nice. 
   Some are though... I was (not as pretty though).
   Anyway, through interacting with Amy on Facebook occasionally, I happen to know that Amy is just as nice in real life. And what we love about her here at Joyce’s Take, is that she does interact with others on Facebook, which is a nice, human thing to do. 
   Many celebrities don’t.
   I’m not going to name any names though (you reading this DeVito?!).
   So and accordingly, I discovered who Amy the Kindle rep was, as I do occasionally with other impressive young actors, “Liked,” her on Facebook, and have followed her career since. 
   And her career is certainly going places. 
   I think she may be a little bit hyper, this Amy Paffrath. Not being one to waste time, it is rumored that Mary Paffrath gave birth to Amy 9 minutes after arriving at the hospital. This is just another blatant example of Amy’s consideration for others, as she waited to get to the hospital at least, before popping out and getting to work. 
   When I look at all of the projects that she works on, or hosts, or whatever, which she shares with us on Facebook, it makes me feel old and tired. Exhausted actually. 
   I’m tired right now just thinking about it. I think I’ll take a little nap. Please excuse me.
   Okay, back now. 
   By the way, the Internet machine tells me that the family name “Paffrath,” is: “German: habitational name from Paffrath in North Rhine-Westphalia [51° 28′ 0″ N, 7° 33′ 0″ E 51.466667, 7.55].” 
   As of yet I can find only one source of biographical information concerning Amy, thanks to the Internet Movie Data Base, and Amy herself doesn’t help matters much by providing none whatsoever on her own website (Amy!), so please excuse me if I am a tad repetitive and plagiaristic.
   How did the IMDB get it’s information? That’s easy, they have a PayPal account with the National Security Agency... and also from her Facebook page, which credits her website, where I can’t find any biographical info. 
   Like many successful actresses and entertainers, Amy enrolled in ballet, tap, and jazz, which are different forms of dance, at an early age. Amy was 3 at the time. Her mom was astounded by her daughter’s display of youthful energy and ambition, and once she found out about it, supplied a goodly amount of maternal support.  
   Throughout the years Amy would become proficient at Boogie-Woogie, Break, Foxtrot, Shuffling, Lindy Hop, Texas Swingout, Lap, Cakewalk, Black Bottom, Drunken Sailor, Vomiting Parachutist, Jitterbug, Disco, Swing, Stomp, Crip Walking, Slide and Glide, Slip’N Slide, Texas Tommy,  Cabbage Patch, Charleston, Pole, Belly, Tango, Clog, Hustle, Flamenco,  Melbourne Shuffle, Waacking, Tecktonik, Moshing, Pogo, English Country, Baroque, Medieval, Liturgical, Perafic, The Lucker Stomp, Contact Improvisation, Mambo, Salsa, Bachata, Merengue, Fire Dance, Line, Zumba, with a smattering of Popping, Krumping, and Memphis Jookin' thrown in for good mesure. 
   That girl can dance!
   She began gymnastics training at age 9 (I wonder what took her so long), eventually winning many awards and medals in various competitions. I mean, well look at pictures 10 through 14 above. Are you looking? Yes, I see you are. Okay, stop looking... STOP IT! Now those are examples of a gymnastically fit individual. 
   I won a ribbon once. Shot put... 3rd place. It was blue. My body today does not represent the intensive and dedicated rigors of training that I undertook back in high school. I don’t know why. 
   And she does yoga! I have pictures to prove it. Look above at pictures 16 through 21. She even does it on a freaking surf board!
   I myself practice yoga a little every morning (sometimes), and once a week with my lovely friend and teacher Beth while frolicking in the ocean (picture above). 
   My body does not reflect my years of intermittent yoga practice either, through no fault of my teacher. She tries and tries.
   Amy also became interested in drama while in elementary school, and produced plays with her buddies.
   I can’t remember what I did while in elementary school. Oh yeah, I watched “The Addams Family,” and The Million Dollar Movie on channel 9, which showed the same movie five days in a row... the forerunner to modern cable T.V., and “encore presentations.”
   Amy attended St. Thomas-Aquinas Mercy High School in Florissant, Missouri, which is a suburb of St. Louis, and  was ranked 76th in the top 100 list of Money Magazine's Best Places to Live in 2012. 
   She discovered and developed an interest in television production while there, and worked in the media department, both in front of and behind the camera. This experience would come in handy later on. At the ripe age of 14, Amy  signed with Toni's International Models (which enjoys an “A+” rating by the Better Business Bureau) in 1997. The agency helped her to book many local jobs, including runway shows and print ads for catalogs.
   Amy graduated from high school in 2001, along with Mark Buchheit, Jessica Coggins, and Natalie Maschmeyer. In 2003, St. Thomas Aquinas-Mercy High School and Rosary High School were closed and a new school, Trinity Catholic High School was opened on the former Rosary Campus.  
   Oh, the memories.
   Since it was relatively nearby, in Columbia, Missouri (38° 57′ 5.59″ N, 92° 19′ 42.95″ W), about 124.6 miles west of St. Louis, Amy attended the University of Missouri, or Mizzou, as I like to call it, and was a member of the cheer leading squad for the Missouri Tigers. She secured an agent, who got her work throughout her college years. She was featured in the  Athlon, an athletic magazine. She worked in a local television station, KOMU-TV, in Columbia as a reporter and an anchor. 
   In her Junior year she won not one, but two internships (internship is what American colonists once called indentured servants) here in Los Angeles. One on the entertainment news program, Entertainment Tonight, working with the lovely Mary Hart, and the other at KNBC in lovely downtown Burbank. 
   No doubt she gained a huge amount of experience about the entertainment industry during this time, and wanted to begin her career. However, displaying a great degree of maturity and discipline, she returned to Columbia for her Senior year, graduating in 2005 with a BA in Broadcast Journalism and a minor in Textile and Apparel Management.
   Early in 2006 Amy made the move from Missouri to Los Angeles (34° 3′ 25.2″ N,118° 14′ 16.8″ W, 34.057, -118.238), where she’s been ever since. 
   And she’s been very busy since she got here. 
   Here’s a compilation of information derived from the Internet machine: 
   “Immediately, she landed hosting gigs on two shows, "Created by U" and "In the Mix", both on Direct-TV (2006-2007), and was the star of Broadcaster News a popular pop culture news show. She booked several national commercials and has completed many independent film projects. She completed 4 movies in 2006, Dinner at Eight (2007), Moonlight on Ivy (2006), Fly Kidz (2006) and Hauntsville (2007), of which she was the lead. She is currently the voice of channel 101 on Direct TV and continues to book work in TV and Film. Amy is an ambitious, smart, and creative young woman. She is currently enjoying her hectic life and thriving career in Los Angeles.”
   Who it was who made that final analysis in those last two sentences is unknown. I wholeheartedly agree with it’s contents though.   
   Oh, she’s making me tired again. Time for another nap.
   Back now. 
   Here’s what the good old IMDB tells us of Amy’s busy career: 
   Starting in 2007 Amy guest starred in the reality television series, “M80,” which besides being  a powerful firecracker, had something to do with extreme sports, such as blind motorcycle riding. Perhaps Amy was one of the token hottie hosts. Here’s a clip not featuring Amy. 
   She also appeared in the T.V. movie, “Science of Love,” which asked the question, “When it comes to finding true love, can scientific methods be applied or does it come down to simple physical instinct and chemistry?” 
   I wonder what was their conclusion. 
   She was also in starred in the short film, “Dinner at Eight .” 
   “Molly-Sue is the perfect wife and soon-to-be mother. Granted, she's a little peeved at the small annoyances in life... but she can always count on dinner at eight.”
   Here’s a clip which does feature Amy.
   She was in “Hauntsville,” in 2007 as well (please keep in mind these projects were all produced on an earlier date, and the dates I’m supplying are when they were released), which concerns a family moving into a haunted house. 
   In 2008 she was in the short films, “Propel,” "Shadow on the Wall," and “Siamese Connection,” in which Amy plays a pair of Siamese twins who were separated at birth. 
   “Siamese Connection,” was the inspiration for both “Stuck on You,” the Farrelly brothers comedy starring Matt Damon and Greg  Kinnear, and “The French Connection,” starring Gene Hackman. Both of these films were actually produced after 2008, but sent back in time to premier in 2003 and 1971 respectively. 
   In 2009 Amy was busy yet again, playing the “3rd Row Brunette” in “Fired Up!” which was difficult for her as she’s a redhead. The film was about two popular guys in high school who  decide to ditch football camp for cheerleader camp. I don’t know why. It is aired on Comedy Central occasionally.
   She also appeared as a nurse in the short “Fun with War Crimes,” (concerning the debacle which was the Bush Jr., administration), the horror film “The Pit and the Pendulum,” and as a possible member of the notorious “ Poontang Tribe," in the comedy/horror film, “Evil Bong II: King Bong,” which may or may not have something to do with combustible drugs.
   She also starred with Tracy Morgan, Kim Kardashian, and Denise Richards in “Deep in the Valley,” and in the T.V. shows “Twenty Something,” and “I Kissed a Vampire,” the musical.
   In 2010 she guest hosted twice on “ACME Saturday Night,” a comedy, variety show, originating from the ACME Comedy Theater here in Hollywood, and which doubles for the secret supply depot where Wile E. Coyote gets all of his stuff. 
   She was in the short films “Black Red Yellow,” and “Greetings,” as well as the television show, “The Defenders,” which also starred John’s brother, Jim Belushi, and Jerry O'Connell.
   Amy reprised her role of “Velicity,” and starred in “Evil Bong 3-D: The Wrath of Bong,” which in a limited theatrical release utilized scratch and sniff cards that movie’s viewers could smell at certain times during the film, which is the first time I’ve ever come across this particular technique, and may have historical significance. 
   HorrorNews.net reviewed “Evil Bong 3-D: The Wrath of Bong,” stating it “trumps the previous sequel." High praise indeed.   
   Let’s let the good people at VH1 continue:
   “Her Midwestern magnetism helped her to immediately land two on-air reporting jobs at Direct TV for "In the Mix" and "Created by You." The ambitious actress-reporter also nabbed roles in film, commercials and music videos, including Paramore's number one hit "Misery Business." In early 2007, she was given the opportunity to host her very own pop culture news show, "Broadcaster News" on broadcaster.com, which aired daily and racked up more than 300 episodes.   
   Since then, Amy’s career has grown exponentially. She has served as the longtime host of "E! News Now," a red carpet correspondent for TV Guide’s Hollywood 411, series regular on MSN's "The Big Debate," and guest host on both G4’s "Attack of the Show" and Fuel TV’s "The Daily Habit." She spent 2011 and early 2012 recapping the best moments from your favorite shows with "Last Night on TV," daily on MSN.com. Her infectious energy is what makes her so appealing to all audiences.
   Amy could most recently be found holding court with the guidos and guidettes of Seaside Heights on MTV’s "Jersey Shore: After Hours" and is currently appearing daily on "The Girl Spot" on Bite Size TV as well as a red carpet correspondent for Yahoo! Movies. She is a budding stand up comic and frequently performs her act in famous LA comedy clubs. Amy is also a regular at Improv Olympics in "Top Story! Weekly," a sketch comedy show skewering the latest news and pop culture. She is making a name for herself as a sitcom star, appearing in 5 guest-starring roles last year alone. Amy’s most recent credits include the CBS pilot Oh F***, its You!,” directed by James Burrows, as well as appearances on "Hot in Cleveland," "Sullivan & Son," and "2 Broke Girls." In addition, Amy is the spokesmodel for Sibu Beauty and plays “Mayday Amy” in the wildly popular Amazon Kindle Fire commercial campaign. Her latest project, "Dating Naked" premieres on VH1 July 17th. When she's not a set, she can be found volunteering, writing, going on romantic dates with her husband Drew Seeley, or hiking the Hollywood hills with their dog Astro.”  
   Astro! There’s pictures of Amy with Astro above, if you care to look. 
   Astro of course (formerly Tralfaz), is named after The Jetson’s dog, because of both of their rare abilities to speak in a rough sounding English resembling dog barks and growls. 
   Like Scooby Doo.
   Oh yes, Amy married about a year ago to fellow actor Drew Seeley (who comes from Canada, which is up north somewhere (and another example of these snowbacks marauding from the frozen wastelands to take away our jobs and women... curse you Dan Aykroyd and Ryan Gosling!)) on April 28th, 2013, in Key West, Florida (I don’t know what time... perhaps Amy will read this some day and leave a comment, clearing up this important matter).  
   I have secured a secret clip of Drew proposing to Amy that can be found on the Internet by anyone. Here it is.
   And here’s a youtube slide show of the wedding.
   “Couldn’t have had a clearer, more beautiful day for a wedding. We were truly blessed,” the actor wrote in the blog post.
   FYI: Amy wore a wedding gown by Anne Barge with a Justine M Couture belt. Drew wore an Indochino suit.
   Well, well, what next. 
   It is true, Amy hosts the new show, “Dating Naked,” on VH1, Thursday nights at 9:00pm here in Los Angeles. 
   It was my pleasure to watch the first show last week, and I enjoyed it very much because I had my clothes on. As the title would indicate, the show is sort of like the old “Dating Game,” where couples who had not known each other previously get together to explore romantic possibilities, except they’re in the tropics somewhere, and they’re outside most of the time instead of in a studio, and... oh yeah, their naked.
   Now I know what you’re thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Amy stays clothed throughout... although: 7-14-14: “I made a promise today on @AccessHollywoodLive's 1000th episode. If @DatingNaked hits the same milestone, I'll host it naked. Think we can do it?”
   Of Course we can! And this gives us something to look forward to, which is always important.
   Amy sends me pictures of her feet every once in a while. I don’t know why.
   And if all of the above wasn’t enough, Amy has a part in “The Purge, Anarchy,” which just opened nationwide last Friday.
   “The Purge, Anarchy,” is a sequel to 2013's “The Purge,” which starred Ethan Hawke, and made  $89,328,627. 46 worldwide, which made it a very successful film considering it only cost $3 million to make. $3 million, plus marketing and distribution costs, oh let’s say the total cost of the film came to $7 million. That equals almost exactly $82,328,627.46 in pure, sweet profit for the studio and producers, and maybe Hawke. And that’s pretty damn good. 
   Well, I’m happy to report that “The Purge, Anarchy,” was “released in North America in 3,303 theaters, and earned $2.6 million in its first night. In its opening weekend, the film grossed $28.4 million, finishing in second place. This was just under $6 million less than the opening of the original film ($34 million).” -Wikipedia  
   “The Purge: Anarchy opened in second place with $29.8 million, which is down 13 percent from the first Purge's $34.1 million debut. That's actually an impressive retention rate, given the fact that the first movie burned out quickly on horrible word-of-mouth. Chalk this up to a strong marketing effort from Universal that promised The Purge: Anarchy would actually explore what it's like to be stuck outside during the lawless 12-hour period known as "The Purge."
   According to Universal, the movie's audience was 52 female and 61 percent under the age of 25. They gave it a solid "B" CinemaScore, which is a major step up from the last movie's "C" score. Ultimately, The Purge: Anarchy could exceed the first movie's $64.5 million [domestic] total.” -Ray Subers for Box Office Mojo.
   “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes,” won the weekend’s top spot for the second week in a row.
   I congratulated Amy Sunday night on her Facebook page:
   “Almost $29 million predicted for “The Purge, Anarchy,” this weekend, with a budget of $9 million, plus marketing and distribution, I show the Purge 2 already making a profit of approximately $6.289 million bucks... American. I have little doubt that you are a large reason why this film is so successful. You beat out Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz [in "Sex Tape"]! Congratulations Amy!”
   12 minutes later she replied:
   “I'm a small part in a very big movie but grateful nonetheless! It's a fantastic film and I'm proud to have a role!”
   See, I told you she was very nice.
   I don’t Tweet, but for those of you who do, you can follow Amy here
   What else?
   Amy’s name in Elvish is Larien Léralondë, which is very pretty.
   If she were a dwarf her name would be Una Chip-Moon.
   Don’t take my word for it... here’s Fili (the one Evangeline Lilly likes), from The Hobbit movies.
   “Fili, if Amy Paffrath were a dwarf, what would her name be?”
   “ Una Chip-Moon.”
   See!
   And if she were a Hobbit her name would be Azaelia Goodbody of Brockenborings.  
   My Hobbit name is Marroc Danderfluff, so obviously Amy and I have a great deal in common.
   And of course, all of us here at Joyce’s Take wish Amy, Drew, and Astro, and all of her friends and family, continued good fortune and health (now armed with a “Joyce’s Take Bump” that’s sure to happen), and a very happy birthday.
   Happy Birthday Amy!

P.S. Birthday message from Amy:

"Birthdays are very important to me. I don't lie about my age either because each of my 31 years on this planet brought me to this very moment in time. I'm so grateful for all of the experiences I've been through because they shaped me into the person I am today. LIFE is worth celebrating! Thank you all for cheering me on and showering me with kind words. It means a lot! xo"

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Skid Row Diary 30








2  October   2003   Thursday   Day 82


   I slept in until 5:00am. I listened to the Mark and Brian regurgitated comedy hour, with Mark describing a horny female as “she grabs her ankles to get more.” Sex, sex, sex! That’s all they talk about. They’re worse than I am.
   Utilizing my hawk like senses, I noticed that someone was filling in for the lovely Kelly Gates at the 5:30 newscast, and was immediately concerned for her health and well being. 
   Perhaps she had gotten into a horrific car crash, and was at that moment lying in the side of the road somewhere in the mountains of Santa Monica, and bleeding out, or was in some hospital in Bakersfield, sick with the SARS virus. 
   Or perhaps her online poker habit had gotten out of hand, and the mob had applied retributive measures, and her feet were now encased in cement and she had been dumped into the raging Los Angeles River (in which case her pretty knees would be in danger of pruning up).
   Naw... she was just late.
   I exercised and meditated, and I spent a good five minutes watching the wax at the bottom of a candle solidify after I had extinguished the flame.
    Giselle wore a lovely bare shouldered, plaid blouse, and black skirt.
   The world was mine for the taking.
   I didn’t want it.
   Dry waffles for breakfast. I next walked to the One Stop to get some more exercise, and to be there right when it opened. My strategy was successful, as I was the first in, and at the only computer there that allows prints to be made from a floppy disk. As luck would have it, I happened to have a floppy disk with information magnetically affixed to it which I needed to be printed. John’s letter that I had composed yesterday, and which also had some files on it that I needed updated, all of which had absolutely nothing to do with getting a job.
   Here’s the letter:

10-02-2003

My 2nd Dear John Letter:

   Hey Buddy, how are you doing? I hope you are well, employed at Technicolor, and everything is okay with you and your mom (your brothers I don’t care so much about).
   I didn’t call you the day after I last saw you because I had seen you the day before and didn’t have anything else to say. I guess it’s easier for me to write for some reason. I express myself better at least. But I will continue to try and call. I think I can use the phones at the Levi Center. I don’t want to call you collect.
   Since you’re not using it let me have your L.A. Library card number. I promise not to abuse it or aquire any charges against your account. The only reason I have charges against mine is due to my car being impounded with my library books in the trunk.
   I am doing well. Hanging in there. You’re absolutely right, I do get frightened when you’re not here, and hardly go outside anymore. Please come back! I can’t take it anymore.
   I will be joining the CWT program within a week or so, and will be working at the VA Hospital in Westwood. It sounds like a pretty good deal for a year or so. 
   I voted for Mary “Mary Carey” Cook for governor. As far as I can tell she is as qualified as Arnold for the job, and she’s way prettier. I voted early on a computer at the library.
   I’m trying to get to Knott’s Scary Farm by Halloween, to see Elvira. Want to come? I don’t want to go by myself, but will if I have to.
   I’m so lonely.
   Remember, my birthday is October 27th. I’ll be 32. Please send cash or a money order as a present. Cashiers check is also acceptable.
   My writing is going well. Working on several projects now. Rent, “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” and tell me what you think about it.
   Saw “The Rundown,” with The Rock, last weekend. It was pretty good, not great, but good. He was good in it.
   Well I’ll sign off now and let you get back to whatever it was you were doing (you’ll go blind if you touch it too long). See you soon.

Peace, love, dove.

   Now it was time to get paid. I caught the Red Line at the 7th St station, to Macarthur Park, and collected a check for $221.00, and $127.00 worth of food stamps (the county is still taking 10% out!). I bought 4 packages of Top Ramen from the 99 Cent Store, across the street from the check cashing place, just to spend some money before heading back downtown. 
   It was now 9:30, and I was in a bit of a hurry. Because it was on the way, I stopped at the little sandwich shop on 7th near Hill, and sold my food stamps for $101.00. Because it was on the way I stopped at the check cashing place on 6th and Spring and cashed the GR check (it’s cheaper to cash the check there rather than the check cashing place where the check was issued... 1.5% cheaper), and bought a money order for 75% of the total (minus the 1% check cashing fee), which came out to $164.09.
   I took a bus to San Pedro St., and was about two minutes early to the Super Search meeting at 10.
   Richard Cairns was there today, once again talking on until 11:30 about interviewing techniques. He is an interesting speaker and fun to listen to... and a twidge over confident. I asked him a question about letting a prospective employer know that the prospective employee was attending school. He said that it was a very good question.
   I was so pleased.
   He gave us all some nice printed information to help prepare us for some upcoming mock interviews. Very exciting.
   After lunch I attended the 1:00 ASAP Phase II meeting, in which we discussed life and career plans, and a step by step blueprint for achieving our goals. 
   One of the gentlemen who attends the meeting regularly brought with him a little dog in  a bag. The dog’s name was Lady, and looked to be a dirty miniature poodle-terrier mix. Her little moppy head could be seen protruding from the red gift bag her owner uses to carry her in. Once inside the meeting room she is released, at which point she makes a point of running up to each member in attendance sniffing at their ankles to determine if they passed muster. Some were rejected and told to leave.
   Lady enjoys a hearty drink from everyone’s cup of tasty beverage if she can get a chance.
   Afterwards I caught a Dash to Arco Plaza, to the post office, and paid the rent for my P.O. Box.
   “What zip code are you?” the large, black, female clerk asked me after I told her why I was there. I cooperated and told her.
   “The clerk who handles that area has gone for the day. You can come back tomorrow morning, or you can buy a money order and pay for it now, and I’ll give it to her in the morning. But I can’t accept any cash for that zip code.” She looked at me as if I should have a deep and complete understanding of the dilemma she found herself in.  
   Are we still living in the Middle Ages? The United States Postal Service, with the authority of the entire nation behind it, can’t figure out a way to make this simple transaction happen without the need for a second trip, or an extra expenditure of 75 cents for a USPS money order?
   I guess not.
   I opted for the money order, being flush with cash, and all, and so I wouldn’t have to come back. 
   After I left I remembered that I’d have to come back tomorrow anyway to make sure my account had been credited. 
   What an idiot I am.
   Next, I looked for a record store at the Macy’s Plaza on 7th, to buy Annette’s “Big Beautiful Sky.” It was the only place I could think of that might carry it that was within walking distance.
   I didn’t.
   If Venus Hum sang in Spanish, I could find 30 or more outlets nearby.
   Is that a racist statement?
   No. Irish alcoholics are a minority here.
   I purchased some yellow manilla envelopes from Rite-Aid, and a VCR of “About Schmidt,” starring Hope Davis and Kathy Bates, before returning to the Weingart, where I would spend the majority of the evening writing, reading, and meditating.
   I was so busy meditating that I missed Mira Sorvino guest starring on “Will and Grace,” 
   Well, that’s what “encore” broadcasts are for.
   I gathered unto the gentle embrace of Morpheus at around 1:30, when I couldn’t hold up the hardcover book I was reading any more. 
   I dreamt I was engaged in an endless game of “Risk,” the game of world domination, with Sophia Farrari and Tiffany Mynx, the beautiful and talented stars of “Priceless,” and “Forbidden,” respectively. We were playing in the dinning room of the group home I used to live in Chatsworth, when I was finishing up high school. The home was an extension of the Ranch San Antonio home for boys.
   Sophia kept amassing her troops in Italy and Europe in keeping with her stark Italian heritage. Tiffany bivouaced in the coveted Asia and Mongolia areas. 
   Mine were in New Jersey.
   We battled and battled for days unending, but no one ever gained an advantage, and no one won, at least until...


3   October    Friday   Day 83


   ... I woke up, feeling completely out of sink with the universe, so I neglected my duties at ASAP, and went to buy a Super Lotto ticket instead. 
   On the way I stopped at the indoor mall at 6th and Los Angeles, and purchased a VCR copy of David Fincher’s “Panic Room,” from the pretty Hispanic lady who owns the video stall. She forced me to make an additional purchase by lowering the price of “One Hour Photo,” starring Connie Nielsen, from $5 to 4. 
   “You’re a good business woman,” I told her. She laughed.
   I continued west on 6th past Spring, to a little grocery store no bigger than my room at the Weingart. They sell lottery tickets there. I bought one “quick pick,” ticket, which means I allowed the computer (random number generator) within the lotto ticket machine to choose the numbers to be printed on my ticket. Those numbers were 19, 34, 43, 45, 46, with a mega number of 22. 
   I would learn Sunday morning that the computer picked the wrong numbers in order for me to win several million dollars (American), 19 being the only number chosen by the big ping pong ball machine in Sacramento, Saturday night, that I had.
    So much for computers. 
   Perhaps I should invest in my own ping pong ball machine, which might give me the winning number ahead of time, being sympathetic with the machine in the state’s capital. 
   Naw. 
   I purchased the day’s newspaper as well. On the front page gubernatorial candidate, Arnold Schwarzenegger apologized for acting badly with women at times. 
   Not many men can claim otherwise.
   I had also purchased a fake black leather wallet at the mall. I would take it back to my room, and I would cut a little piece from the paper with the day’s date printed on it, and place that little sliver of paper in one of the plastic photo holders in my new wallet. Now I would know what day I had bought the wallet, forever and forever. 
   Upon return to the Weingart I strode to Labren’s office to turn in my $164.09 money order. This is not rent, per se, but money the Weingart is holding for me for the time I leave the program. 
   Unfortunately this money does not collect interest.
   Labren asked Mrs. Jeter to take it as she still did not have a receipt book. Apparently her supervisors don’t trust her with one. For the first time I sat in Mrs. Jeter’s office while going through the process of handing over my money. She had a little plastic, white skull on her desk, which served a duel purpose of being a container. It was empty at the time.
   “You ready for Halloween,” I asked.
   “Yes.”
   I returned to my room and emptied the contents of my old wallet onto my desk. I went through them, discarding items that I no longer needed. Little notes to myself, movie ticket stubs, business cards, a banana I had forgotten about. The wallet itself was worn and streaked with faint lines of mottled green... perhaps some kind of wallet fungi.
   It’s no small thing for a man to change his wallet. A wallet is a man’s constant companion. He takes it everywhere, not like fickle women who change their purses as freely as they do their shoes. Pants may come and go, socks, underwear, hats, belts, suspenders, artificial limbs, cumberbunds, but wallets survive the daily transitions and life expectancies of normal clothing. A wallet is there when you need it. One takes it out to dinner, to the movies. It never argues. It’s dependable. About the only bad thing that can be said about it is that it can’t be washed.
   Hence the fungi.
   I suppose one could spray it with some Pine-Sol from time to time, but oh... so much work...
   I spent a good half hour filling up my new wallet with my personal belongings. I.D.,  social security card, credit card, certificates of deposit, birth certificate, life insurance policy, flood insurance policy,  one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Gaelic  phrase book and Buddhist scripture; one hundred dollars in pesos; one hundred dollars in gold kopecks; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings,  my continuum transfunctioner,  a device whose mystery is only exceeded by its power. 
   Upon opening my new wallet my monthly bus pass can clearly be seen behind a clear plastic window specifically designed to display such items. My beautiful co-editor of “Salvation Diary,” Michelle Chandler, can be seen directly across from my bus pass. She’s so pretty. I also have pictures of my friends Julie Laughlin, and Arlene C., as well as Cyndi Wood, Odalys, Giselle, Jennifer Connelly, Desiree Cousteau, Janine Turner, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Rose McGowan.
   I also added some reference pictures of Nancy Travis, Jolene Blalock,  LeeLee Sorbreski, Marilu Henner,  Debra Norville, Kathy Bates, Sean Young, Nancy Allen, Nikki Cox, Karen Allen,  Laura Prepon, Angelina Jolie, Traci Lords, Kelly Bundy, Tippi Hedren, Carla Gugino, Mathilda May, Milla Jovovich, Gloria Leonard,  Katie Curic,  Vanessa Chase, Uma Thurman, Amber Lynn, Patricia Arquette, Marina Sirtis, Rosanna Arquette, Lois Ayers, Kimberly Carson,  Joanna Storm, Jan Smithers, Janet & Margot Kidder, Catherine Bell, Sophie B. Hawkins, Tanya Roberts, Laura San Giacomo, Liv Tyler, Carroll Conners, Elvira, the Mistress of the Dark, Thora Birch, Suzanne Somers, Mandy Moore, Rene Russo, Beverly D'Angelo, Barbara Eden, Alyson Hannigan, Ellen Greene, Drew Barrymore, Violet Blue, Molly Ringwald, Linda Kozlowski, Mimi Rodgers, Christine Taylor,  Heather Graham, Christy Brinkley, Selma Heyak, Alana Evans, Janette Littledove, Kristy Swanson, Kristin Dunst, Serina, Brittany Murphey, Shirley Jones, Moria Kelly, Dawn Wells,  Renee Zellweger, Asia Carrera, Shauna Grant, Cate Blanchett, Melissa Joan Hart, Tera Patrick,  Nicole Kidman, Meagan Leigh, Kate Winslett, Claire Danes, Helen Mirren, Adrienne Barbeau, . Rachel Weisz, Mia Kirsner, Marisa Tomei, Teri Polo, Stephanie Powers, Amanda Detmer, Erika Christensen, Stephanie Kramer, Micky Lynn, Grace Kelly, Amanda Peet, Bernadette Peters, Catherine Zeta Jones, Dina Spybey, Jill St. John, Diana Rigg, Anna Friel, Ariel Knight, Tami White, Alicia Witt, Denise Richards, Debra Messing, Kay Parker, Shauna McCullough, Ashley Judd, Elkie Sommers, Taija Rae, Lysette Anthony, Shannon Elizabeth, Jenny McCarthy, Tori Spelling,  Jenny Agutter, Jeanna Elfman, Hilary Swank, Neve Campbell, Jane Pauley, Hayley Mills, Brittany O'Connell, Karen Valentine, Marilyn Chambers, Reese Witherspoon, Kathy Lee Gifford, Bebe Neuwirth, Kristina Barrington, Mila Kunis, Madeline Stowe, Pia Zadora, Dana Delaney, Jeri Ryan, Ione Sky, Julie Newmar, Stella Stevens, Terry Farrell, Danielle Martin, Kim Cattrell, Ginger Lynn, Patricia Kennedy, Natalie Portman, Mary Louise Parker, Connie Peterson,  Sara Jessica Parker, Devon Shire (OJ’s friend), Christina Ricci, Nikki Knights, Jane Fonda, Lili Marlene, Carrie Ann Moss, Samantha Strong, Fairuza Balk, Bunnie Bleu, Loretta Swift, Samantha Fox, Winona Ryder, Annabeth Gish, Seka, Gillian Anderson, Evangeline Lilly, Trisha Devereaux, Elizabeth Shue, Andrea Parducci, Laurel Canyon, Kelly Lebrock, Holly Hunter, Laura Linney, Eva Longoria, Pam Dawber, Stevie Nicks, Miranda Otto, Gina Gershon, Terri Irwin, Bridget Fonda, Elyse Luray, Shannon Dorethy, Natasha Henstridge, Erin Gray, the Olsen Twins, Penelope Ann Miller, Melanie Griffith, Marilyn Monroe, Jerri Hall, Geena Davis, Daryl Hannah, Laura Dern, Valerie Perrine, Kim Novak, Joey Heatherton, Elizabeth Montgomery, Olivia Hussey, Kate Beckinsale, Faye Dunaway, Sheri Lewis,  Sophia Loren, Famke Janssen, Bambi Lee, Michelle Johnson, Sarah Jane Hamilton, Demi Moore, Brittany Morgan, Gweneth Paltrow, Stephanie Rage, Mira Sorvino, Candie Evens,  Judy & Audrey Landers, Venus, Erin Francis Law, Mary Magdalene, Olivia de Havilland, Sedeqetelebab, Ne'elatama'uk, Aphrodite, Eve,  Emzara, Betsy Ross, Ne'elatama'uk, Adataneses, Morgan Smith Goodwin, Yasodharā, Frigg, Pandora, Nanna, Maid Marian, Juno, Olive Oyl, Athena, Betty Rubble, Minerva, Wilma Flintstone, Vesta, Jane Jetson, Lois Patrice Griffin, Judy Jetson, Meg Griffin, Alicyn Sterling, Diane Lane, Gina Carrera, Jessica Lange, Aja, Jennifer Carpenter, Natalie Wood, Eliza Dushku,  Tami Monroe, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Annette Haven, Isabelle Adjani, Vivian Leigh, Sophie Marceau, Tina Louise, Vanessa Angel, Courtney Love, Jennifer Aniston, Reba McEntire,  Ann Margaret, Andie Macdowell, Barbara Bach, Lisa Marie, Karen Summer, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Annette Benning, Elizabeth McGovern, Jacqueline Bisset, Maureen O'Hara, Yasmine Bleeth, Marie Osmond, Ingrid Bergman, Bionca, Victoria Principal, Isabella Rossellini, Christina & Tori  Raines, Loraine Bracco, Rhonda Jo Petty, Catherine Bach,  Katie Holmes, Joanna Cassidy, Lee Remick,  Phoebe Cates, Susan Sarandon,  Meg Tilly, Jane Seymour, Jennifer Tilly, Cybil Sheppard, Cheryl Ladd, Jaclyn Smith, Cyndi Lauper, Dorothy Straten, Madison Stone, Meryl Streep,  Julie Meadows, Sally Struthers, Cameron Diaz, Charlize Theron, Michelle Williams (the actress),  Michelle Williams (the other one), Heather Thomas, Fran Dresher, Linda Thorson,  Erika Eleniak, Shannon Tweed, Barbi Benton,  Lana Wood, Shrilyn Fenn, Jordan Ladd, Alyssa Milano, Riley Ann Sawyers, Anne Francis, Robin Tunney, Soleil Moon Frye, Kari Wuhrer, Ava Gardner, Traci Winn, Julianne Moore, Natalie Imbruglia, Emma Thompson, Sheryl Crow, Emily Watson, Jessica Rabbit, Joan Cusack, Amy Adams, Annie Lennox, Janeane Garafalo, Betty Ruble, Katey Sagal, Ariel the Mermaid, Daphne Blake, Nana Visitor, Claudia Black, Pink, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Sarah Silverman, Victoria Jackson, Stacy Donovan, Rebecca Romijn, Jane Porter, Loni Sanders, Shay Sweet, Nikki Charm, Katie Gold, Victoria Paris, Tara Reid, Dorothy Lemay, Flame, Roseanne Katon, Nina Hartley, Chloe Sevigny, Belladonna, Joy Harmon, Marki Post, Honey Wilder, Sunset Thomas, Lisa Deleeuw, Xeena Seaberg, Linda Wiesmeier, Minnie Driver, Tracey Adams, Sarah Polly, Tara Aire, Renne Griffen, Laura Bertram, Maria Conchita Alonso, Linda Florentino, Melissa George, Katherine Heigl, Dominique Swain, Enya, Claudia Christian, Anne Heche, Selma Blair, Terri Garr, Carol Lynley, Kay Lenz, Krista Lane, Leslie Ann Warren, Dana Lynn, Asia Argento, Clea Lewis, Samantha Mumba, Tiffany Mynx, Dagette Dalawhal, Vivianna Gibelli, the 1-800-Dentist Lady, Daphne Brogdon, Donna Murphy, Sharon Mitchell, Donna Douglas, Veronica Hart, Terri Copley, Ona Zee, Meredith McRae, Kari Fox, Abby Dolton, Barbi Doll, Lisa Robin Kelly,  Anne Archer, Cara Lott, Summer Rose, Careena Collins, Barbara Crampton, Paula Prentis, Sheryl Lee, Suzanne Pleshette, Cheri Taylor, Ziyi Zhang, Annette Funicello, Alicia Rio, Lois Netteton, Angel, Rachel Ashley, Olivia Williams, Kayla Rae Worden,  Morgan Fairchild, Lolita Davidovich, Mary Steenbergen, Myrka Dellanos, Hope Davis, Rebecca DeMornay, Debra Mazor, Samantha Morton, Julia Stiles, Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Dyan Cannon, Mena Suvari, Maria Celeste Arraras, Natasha Lyonne, Ruby, Sophie Evens, Jamie Summers, Naomi Watts, Barbara Hershey, Katie Holmes, Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Davis, Janet Leigh, Kelly Gates, Rosario Dawson, Lori Singer, Sierra, Priscilla Barnes, P.J. Sparxx, Jenilee Harrison, Maryam & Olivia D'abo, Elizabeth Perkins, Linda Ronstadt, Elizabeth Berkley, Nancy & Ann Wilson, Maureen O'Sullivan, Kate Vernon, Krista Allen, Cherry Mirage, Lillian Gish, Kaley Cuoco,  Gail Force, Gates McFadden, Linda Harrison, Holli Woods, Kristen Johnson, Kelli Richards, Melanie Blatt, Kristi Myst, Halle Berry, Lysa Thatcher, Wendy Thorlakson, Melissa Mendez, Gauge, Tina Tyler, Nicole Lace, Jewel DeNyle, Porsche Lynn, Scarlett Johansson, Janney Robbins, Randi Rage, Jacqueline Lorians,  Amanda Tapping, Renee Summers, Brooke West, Keira Knightley, Bridgette Monroe, Sid Deuce, Eva Mendes, Bridgette Monet, Sophia Ferrari, Erica Boyer, Tara Monroe, Kirsty Waay, Jessica Wilde, Blondi Anderson, Kandy Barbour,  Tawny Little, Sharon Kane, Ann Martin, Dorothy Parker, Shirley Jackson, Emily Dickinson, Katherine Anne Porter, Sylvia Plath, Joyce Carol Oates, Alice Walker, S.E. Hinton, Jhumpa Lahiri, Edith Wharton, Kate Chopin, Margaret Mitchell, Harper Lee, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Virginia Woolf (she frightens me), Mary Shelley, Flannery O'Connor, Kristanna Loken, Raquel Welsh,  Glenne Headley, Angela Summers, Teresa Ganzel, Bianca Trump, K.C. Williams, Nancy Suiter, Natalie Portman, Siobhan Hunter, Yvette Mimieux, Susan Hart, Ruta Lee, Frankie Leigh, Tiffany Malloy, Heather Hart, Ana Maria Canseco, Hyapatia Lee, Tawny Pearl, Anna Ventura, Debra Paget, Barbii, Francis McDormant, Colleen Brennan, Dana Dylan, Marlene Dietrich, Denise Crosby, Angie Dickinson, Breeze, Justine Shapiro, Papillon, Dee Dee Davis, Rachel Ryan, Heather Locklear, Megan Leitch, Rebecca Bardoux, Mary Tyler Moore, Rene Bond, Kristen Schaal, Laura Parker, Linda Cardellini, Cassandra Peterson, Patricia Heaton,  Kristin Kreuk, Mary "Mary Carey" Cook, Vanessa Branch, Christina Applelay, Heather Hunter, Mona Lisa, Sade, Isis Nile, the Pointer Sisters, Elizabeth Rohm, Glenda Panigura, Jean Louisa Kelly, Hilary Clinton, Virginie Ledoyen, Jessica Lundy, Rachel Leigh Cook, Jessie St. James, Radha Mitchell, Juliet Anderson, Parker Posey, Kirsten Dunst, Jade Barrymore, Aimee Mann, Brandi Wine, Heidi Klum, Leanna Foxxx, Linda Shaw, Cleopatra,  Hannah Harper, Melanie Moore, Ashley Blue, Juliet Mills, Phoebe Augustine, Buffy Davis, Lauren Sanchez, Crystal Wilder, Olivia Munn,  Teresa Parente, Keisha, Ellen Engleman, Teri Weigel, my favorite literary female April Delaney, from “The Magic Journey,” Trish Ambrose, Gail Porter,  Elle Rio, Jillian Barberie, Fallon, Luanne Platter, Maria Carey, Marisa Coughlin, Laura Croft, Julie Warner, Rita Hayworth, Carolyn Jones, Debbie Dunning, Christina Applegate, Sue Ann Langdon, Shonna Lynn, Sylvia Kristal, Christa Miller, Gretchen Mol, Yarel Ramos, Tiffany Amber Thiesen, Dorethy Lucy, Ann Druyan, Leah Remini, Tiffany Rose, Melissa Sagemiller, Charlotte Church, Gina Ryder, Penelope Cruz, Trish Van Devere, Susan Ancilio, Turanga Leela, Erica Leerhsen, Laura Harris, Natalie Merchant, Eva Gabor, Jane Leeves, Claudia Adkins, Vinessa Shaw, Sharon Lawrence, Valerie Golino, Betty Boop, Martha Keller, Amy Wong, Lindy Booth, Marla Sokoloff, Gina Lynn, Jackie Joseph, Ewa Aulin, Francesca Rettondini, Jackie Guerrido,  Chrissy Snow, Lacey Chabert, Dorethy Lamour, Ivanka Trump, Deborah Foreman, Francis O'Conner, Amy Davidson, Amy Paffrath, Mariel Booth, Lucille Ball, Milana Vayntrub , Rachel Grate, Camille Chen, Franka Potente, Kira Knightly, Karen Kopkins, Rachel Roberts, Suzi Suzuki, Claire Bloom, Jennifer Beals, Kiki Daire, Nicki Aycox, Bambi Woods, Constance Zimmer, Maureen McCormick, Sally Layd, Rachel Ray,  Jessica Biel, Maria Spiroulu, Anna Paquin, Kate Beckensale, Anette Strean, Imogen Stubbs, Greta Garbo, Susanne Christian-Kubrick, Kelly Ripa, Susan Sullivan, Chiaki Kuriyami, Mary (Carey) Cook, Alex Kingston, Monica Keena, Ana Patricia Rojo, Judy Holiday, Alida Valli, Pornjan Khantee, Brittney Spears, Roma Downey, Goldie Hawn, Lauren Ambrose, May May T-Chung, Ana Layevska, Hiromi Oshima, Illeana Douglas, Sara, Vicki, & Rachel Shatterfield, Sue Lyon, Tiffany Taylor, Carly Foulkes, Lacey, Sophie Sweet, Vivica A. Fox, Donna Reading, Connie Nelson, Marcia Gay Harden, Veronica Lake, Ana Kernokova,  Savannah, Sara Tanaka, Maria Schneider,  Jennifer Pankratz, Autumn Austin, Sara & Deisy Teles, Ander Paige, Julianne Moore, Cynthia Fox, Kelly Preston, Audrey Meadows, Mayra Veronica, Lauren Graham, Felix Vicious, Cassie Krystal, Elizabeth Berridge, Christy Canyon, Austin O'Reilly,  Jennifer Gardener, Misty Parks, Ann Marie, Jasmine St. Claire, Linda Carter, Connie Booth,  Betsy Palmer, Kim Basinger, Carol Kane, Sarah Halcomb, Audree Jaymes, the  Porcelean Twinz, Anna Ohura, Taylor Ann, Sarah McLeod, Missy Monroe, Tawny Stone,  Galadriel, Barbara Aldon, Rhonda Shear, Tabitha Stevens, Nicolette Sheridan, Sharon Stone, Rachel Ward, Jill Ireland, Louisa Moritz, Vera Miles, Tricia Leigh Fisher, Marina Gruja, Carol Burnet, Erica Rosa Campbell, Rachel Miner, Kelly Reilly, Taylor Rains, Michelle Wild, Shauna O'Brian, Verna Bloom,  Catherine Deneuve, Marcia Cross, Lisa Baur, Kitma Baker, Rose Byrne, Amee Donovan, Christine Lindley, Lisa Loeb, Sofia Vergara, Amber Rain, Denise Crosby, Wendy James, Courtney Devine,  Elizabeth Kaitan, Charlotte Ayannay, Christy Harris, Alexis Malone, Shannon Whirry, Lisa-ann Gershwin, Chelsia Rose Marcius, Bijou Phillips, Michelle  Trachtenberg, Rosamund Pike, Alanis Morisette, Donna DeRico, Janet Margolin, Brooklyn Mills, Jane Russell, Kristi Johnson, Rhonda Fleming, Brittany Murphy, Lily Belle Burk, Mayleen Ramey, Piper Perabo,  Rula Jebreal, Raquel Smashenburn, Amy Lindsay, Maya Rudolph, Nikki Viola, Susen Misner, Bunny Luv, Kelli Jaunsen, Carmen Dominici, Heather Herman,  Mya Harrison, Judith Light, Carey Lowell, Fern Holland, Barbi Belle, Tiffany Walker, Sally Kellerman, Denise Faye, Bianca Kajlich, Janice Karmen, Anita See, Sara Foster, Rachel Marie, Deborah Fallender,  Katie Johnson, Taylor Lynn, Barbara Bermudo, Ana Kasparian, Roxanne Hall, Erin Brockovich, Kathy Griffen, Linda Hunt,  Ariana LaNova, Lindsay Sloane, Marlee Matlin, Chloe Clark, Judy Starr, Elizabeth James, Elizabeth Vargus, Jane Krakowski, Bianca Lawson, Amber Michaels, Peggy Dow, Rebecca Pidgeon, Stephanie Weir, Alicia Silverstone, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Nicole Eggert, Poppy Montgomery, Laura Harring, Kate Hudson, Melinda Clarke, Jacqueline Obradors, Amanda  Byram, Colista Flockhart, Leslie Mann, Paola Pessot, Ludivine Sagnier, Christine Ritchie,  Rachel Griffiths, Rachel Bilson, Josie Moran, Renee Townsend, Elizabeth Taylor, Julienne Davis, Devin Devasquez, Mary Ann Mobley, Loni Anderson, Eva Green, Jennifer Pena, Katina Elena Sergeevna, Charo, Eva Marie Saint, Joanne Woodward, Fiona Johnson, Liz Fraser, Alana Austin, Katagiri Mami, Clare Samuels, Misty Rowe, Michelle Rossi-Voorhees, Kira Reed, Laura Holgate, Maria Grazia Buccella, Angeline Ball, Marimi Sato, Branagh Gallagher, Julie Bowen, Britt Ekland, Chelsie Clinton, Gina Lolabridgida, Kyra Sedgwick, Maria Doyle, Diane Mizota, Patricia Neal, Joyce Dewitt, Gina Pacheco, Julie Delpy, Joan Severance, Mindy Sterling, Clara Beller, Carrie Ann Inaba, Michelle Husiane, Sue Scott, Raquel Darrin, Kelly Cox, Paula Malcomson, Tess Ferre, Cindi Lee, Sage Whitfield, Georgina Spelvin, Robin Cannes, Cori Marjon, Terry Moore, Chyler Leigh, Tabitha Fox, Ava Fabian, Lillian Muller, Erica Evens, Abagail Adams, Kelis, Jane Lynch, Catalina Sardino Moreno, Cheryl Hines, Joan Allen, Alesha Oreskovich, Linnea Quigley, Evan Rachel Wood, Lynx Cannon, Jamie Bergman, Lacey Barnes, Vanna White, Mary Kay Place, Jennifer Lopez, Charlotte Lopez, Nikki Reed, Jennifer Aspen, Meadow Sisto, Jennifer Lyons, Dita Von Tess, Alice Faye, Leslie Ann Down, Heather Kozar, Melinda Dillon, Leigh Taylor Young, Sarah Holcomb,  Natasha Yi, Robin Walmsley, Volkova Yulia Olegovna, the Pierce Triplets, Cludia Trejos, Jessica Collins, Sonia Braga, Sienna Guillory, Michelle Rodriguez, Audra McDonald, Yuliya Mayarchuk, Ariana Richards, Jami Farrell, Emmanuelle Beart, Mary Woronov, Jasmine Raff, Emily Blunt, Kathleen Beller, Bobby Gentry, Pam Greer, Svetlana Uskneo, Cindy Margolis, Barbara Bogeav, Maureen Dowd, Juliette Kayyem, Anna Faris, Molly Rysman, Beth Dian Prandini, Claire Keim, Diane Dibrell Holt, Sandrine Kiberlain, Nicole Parker, Susan Featherly, Coleen Gray, Kayla Paige, Lisa Kushell, Jane Heitmeyer, Alicia Machado, Shannon Fill, Naudia Styles, Cherry Poppins, Casey Chambers, Dr. Francine Patterson, Wen Yann Shih, Joanna Page, January Jones, Holly Morris, Kimberl Laferriere, Diana Krall, Alexis Bledel, Betty Grable, Jennifer Bohn, Christa Campbell, Lisa Ray, Karen Christy, Skye Sweetnam, Paz Vega, Tanya Beckett, Emily Browning, Ana Marie Cox, Judy Carne, Rachel Boesing, Vivian Vance, Maria Menounos, Lindsey Lohan, Dania Ramirez, Sandra Dee, Sally Fields, Lynn Collins, Natasha Richardson, Grace Slick, Helen Boxendale, Claudia Maro, Lu Parker, Helena Bonham Carter, Ernestine L. Rose, Franchine Dee, Ann Dusenberry, Jill Ritchie, Marguerite Chapman, Molly Parker, Megan McCormick, Yvonne Craig, Nicole Sheridan, Nina Cherry, Katty Kay, all Orion slave girls, Aisha Tyler, Emily Procter,  Alex Witt, Jenna Wells, Miranda Cosgrove, Doris Day, Debbie Reynolds, Christina Milian, Arielle Kebbel, Vanessa Ferlito, Julia Latynina, Megan Mullally, Kelli Garner, Devon Aoki, Eva Evangeline, Haley Hunter, Emile DaVinci, Stephanie Miller,  Zooey Deschanel, Heylee Bang, Beverly Mitchell, Claire Forlani, Tais Araujo, Shawnee Smith,  Lisa Boyle, Lisa Picotte, Sarah Ann Morris, Carol Wayne, Elizabeth Banks, Tammy Lynn Michaels, Joan Hackett, Estelle Bingham, Dr. Susan E. Rice, Dagmara Dominczyk,  Marianela Pereyra, Maria Checa, Shannon Leahy, Tina Barrett, Rachel Stevens, Hannah Spearett, Danielle Fishel, Portia de Rossi, Paula Ficara, Jessica Stern, Eve Arden, Crista Flanagan, Emily Bazelon, Susan Strasberg, Simi Garewal, Bridgit Ryan, Daniele Gaither, Bridget Bardot, Missi Pyle, Virginia North, Valli Kemp, Leslie Grossman, Ann Baxter, Carrie Underwood, Sheri Moon, Jennie Garth, Amanda Bynes, Helena Apothaker, Kate Bosworth, Regina Hall, Linda Lovelace, Inger Stevens, Debbie Shair, Jamie Pressly,  Jaime King, Toni Collette, Vivien Leigh, Jessica Darling, Tiffany Sloan, Chantel Dubay, Kathleen Bradley, Lanisha Cole, Tabitha King,  Erika Valdez, Sonia Vera, Teri Harrison, Nikki Zeno, Holly Hollstrom, Cynthia Brimhall, Heather Kozar, Vaitiare Bandara, Margo Martindale, Katie Nauta, Jean Harlow, Gloria Swanson, Irina Dunn, Gloria Steinem,  Sherrice Iverson, Jill Barcomb, Kitty Genovese, Georgia Wixted, Charlotte Lamb, Robin Samsoe, Jill Parenteau, Nancy Clutter, Sharon Tate, Olivia Wilde, Katheryn Perry, Alexis Dziena, Michelle Monaghan, Nicole Nagel, Serena South, Allysin Chaynes, Mary Hart, Melissa Chan, Rosa Blasi, Fann Wong, Tina Nordstrom, Maguerite Moreau, Brittany Ann O'Connell, Jennifer Blaire, Adrianne Palicki, Jennifer Salt, Roselyn Sanchez, Shawna Loyer, Kristen Bell, Lisa Sheridan, Kari Matchett, Mary McCormack, Katee Sackhoff, Leighton Meester, Sophia Bush, Leslea Fisher, Christy Harvey, Maria Bello, Drea de Matteo, Amanda Seyfried, Kate Beahan, Kerry Fox, Nadine Velazquez, Suzanne Snyder, Mariette Hartley, Sunny Mabrey, Catherine Crier, Deborah Kerr, Pam Karlan, Joanna Pettet, Daliah Lavi, Honor Blackman, Joanna Lumley, Katie Fey, Alicia Coppola, Elisha Cuthbert, Alison Angel, Gerda Ann Cerra Koontz, Arden Myrin, Jenna Fischer, Tina Fey, Fiona Gubelmann, Chanelle Chavez, Amy Poehler, Phoebe Price, Oksana Baiul, Abi Tucker, Alexa Hamilton, Tamron Hall, Nathalie Boltt, Mili Avital, Soledad O’Brian, Kate Beahan, Debra LaFave, Amanda Duncan, Amanda Swisten, Lisa McCree, Sue Turton, Cindy Cashdollar, Kelly Carlson, Colleen Porch, Lucy Punch, Brenda Strong, Eva Amurri, Julie Andrews, Darci Donavan, Vanessa Carlton, Rachel Harris, Musetta Vander, Laura Knightlinger,  Lake Bell, Busy Phillips, Stacy Keibler, Beth Rogan, Denise Nicholas,  Shirley Maclaine, Judy Strangis, the Wailing Jennys, Zuleikha Robinson, Dawn Maxey, Christine Ebersole, Karen Black, Angel Veil,  Ellen Johnson, Stacy Ferguson, Galima Bukharbayeva, Lauren Holly, Adriana Catano, Connie Stevens, Wafah Dufour, Marisol Nichols, Shae D’Lyn, Amy Sedaris, Nikki Zeiring, Vanessa Potkin, Diane Kruger, Virginia Madsen, Sonia Aquino, Bridget Moynahan, Samar Assad, Jamie Gertz, Faith Ford, Renee Olstead, Marsha Mason, Kelly O’Donnell, Drs Jennifer & Laura Berman, Lynn Lowry, Kristin Cavallari, Isabelle Huppert, Talia Shire, Isla Fisher, Carmen Miranda, Lilly Tomlin, Kamala Lopez-Dawson, Chistine Ebersole, Danneel Harris, Chrystia Freeland, Meghan Ory, Hallie Todd, Britt Irvin, Gayle Hunnicut, Pamela Franklin, Ahna Capri, Julie Christie, Andrea Dromm, Rachel Maddow, Faith Hill, Kate Shindle, Lorri Bagley, Collen Dunn, Emily Wing, Kate Haswell, Sharon Kaough, Lenka Novak, Betsy Genson, Nancy Mann, Gwen Van Dam, Kiley Wirtz Jennings, Uschi Digard, Amy Sullivan, Dona Drake, Monica Potter, Olivia Judson, Nigella Lawson, Pauley Perrette, Adriana Lima,  Brooke Langton, Katherine Kendall, Christina Cox, Leonor Varela, Kate Ashfield, Cookie Knapp, Amy Smart, Molly Sims, Brande Roderick, Brittany Daniel, Tina Majorino, Kaya Kimura, Kristin Lehman, Lia Beldam, Sgt. Kelly Dougherty, Shannen Doherty, Lena Headey,  Marion Cotillard, Colette Hiller, Sophia Myles, Nicole Eggert, Natalie Denise Sperl, Sarah & Emma Bolger, Cecile De France, Sheila Kennedy, Sunny Leone, Lizzie West, Sarah Jane Potts,  Sarah Alexander, Susan Ward, Cicciolina Ilona Staller, Holly Clegg, Jennifer Trasper, Juliet Landau, Gigi Edgley, Kaylee Defer, Ellen Page, Alison Sweeney, Emily Proctor, Cerina Vincent, Bethany McLean, Cobie Smulders,  Monica Bellucci, Beth Riesgraf, Andrea Koppel,  Kylie Travis, Vida Guerra, Carmon Electra, Brooke Burns,  Ashley Scott, Kara Mynor, Erinn Bartlett, April Bowlby, Sarah Shahi, Lana Sands, Emilie de Ravin, Sinnamon Love, Reagan Gomez Preston, Svetlana Shusterman, Dona Jordaan, Joanne Nail, Robbie Lee, Sabrina Tavernise, Cheryl Rainbeaux Smith, Patrice Rohmer, Susie Elene, Jo Johnston, Collen Camp,  Stephanie Fondue, Denise Dillaway, Brandy Woods, Kim Stanton, Fay Masterson, Melora Walters, Charlie Spradling, Taryn Manning, Jena Malone, AJ Cook, Sarah Carter, Audrey Tautou, Reylene Richards, Miyoshi Umeki, Vahina Giocante, Holly Robertson Peete, Nora Miao, Tiffany Granath, Sora Aoi, Clare Kramer, Theresa Wayman, Carmen Fought, Stephanie Nevin, Naureen Zaim, Cindy Taylor, Summer Altice, Melanie Mayron, Michelle Marsh, Elizabeth Alexander,  Lucy Pinder, Bambi Dolce, Angela Zimmerly, Jennifer Jones, Jennifer Lavoie, Yvonne De Carlo, Pat Priest, Beverley Owen, Lumi Cava, Tina O’Brian, Lacy DuValle, Michelle Ryan, Jennifer Sky, Jelena Jensen, Michelle Forbes, Elisa Pensler Gabrielli,  Raffaella Carrà, Jennifer Elise Cox,  Rosemary Forsyth, Ana Claudia Talancon, Meagan Good, Jessica Cauffiel, Paula Garces, Molly Stanton, Julie Benz,  Emily Booth,  Jennifer Muir, Alexis Bloom, Cha Cuo, Annabella Sciorra,  Elizabeth Daily, Kelly Lynch, Pamela Rogers, Kylie Bax, Mary Kay Latourneau, Cecilia Suarez,  Barbara Nedeljakova, Bree Walker, Anne Hathaway, Ryan Conner, Sarah Purcell, Brooke Adams, Alice Krige, Gwen Wells, Gwen Verdon, Leslie Caron, Judy Garland, Liza Minnelli,  Barbara Harris, Shelley Duvall, Agnes Bruckner, Shannon Getsit, Aishwarya Rai, Natascha McElhone, Piper Laurie, Brenda Currin, Amy Delucia, Maria Tornberg, Michelle Thomas, Natalia Cigliuti, Sarah Paulson, Courtney Peldon, Claudia Jennings,  Mary Ellen Kleinhall, Bo Derek, Kimberly Haeg, the Statute of Liberty, Lizzy Caplan, Andrea Anders, Lady Justice, Heather Goldenhersh, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Vanessa Marcil, Milina Kanakaredes, Anita Dark, Karrine Steffan, Anya Monzikova, Courtney Thorn Smith, Eva Angelina, Victoria Woods, Monika Star, Kelly Tyler, Chandra West, Karen McDougal, Debra Unger, Diora Baird,  Hudson Leick, Grace Lee Whitney, Victoria Pratt, Lexa Doig, Virginia Hey, Simone Claire,  Rosemarie DeWitt, Judy Greer, Marilyn Milian, Masuimi Max, Amy Miller, Destiny Davis,  Alana Curry, Vanessa Minnillo, Natasha Bedingfield,  Emmy Rossum, Paige Brooks, Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine, Brandi Sherwood, Sarah Chalke, Sofia Milos, Lindsey Logan, Katya Virshilas, Toni Senecal, Leah Luv, Mindy Vega, River Donovan, Marie Curie, Abigail Adams,  Alison Goldfrapp,  Jacinda Barrett, Amber Tamblyn, Melanie Lynskey, Angleica Durango,  Juliet Tablak, Heather Paige Kent, Taylor Cole, Tera Heart, Vivian Gray, Arielle Dombasle, Angela Sarafyan, Amber Dolle, Becca Sweitzer, Maria de Medeiros, Vera Farmiga, Suleka Mathew, Emily Bergl, Sarah Strange, S.E. Cupp, Krystal Ball, Abby Huntsman, Lorraine Nicholson, Juliet Prowse, Sela Ward,  Rita Rudner, Cara Buono, Anita Ekberg, Jayne Mansfield, Ty Glaser, Helene de Fougerolles,  Marin Hinkle, Mariska Hargitay, Jill Pike, Alica Taglioni, Margaret Nolan, Mamie Van Doren, Marisa Allasio, Senta Berger, Lori Sanders, Linda Kaye Henning, Ami Dolenz, Elaine Boosler, Lursa and B'Etor Duras, Stephanie March, Lola Glaudini, Shoshannah Stern, Sprague Grayden, Lana Likic, Stacy London, Brooke Shields, Keri Russell, Virginia Madson, Amy Walz, Cynthia Lynn, Sigrid Valdis, Hypatia, Ellen Barkin, Robin Wright, Annie Jump Cannon, Meghan Ashley, Valerie Azlynn, Sherie Rene Scott, Leilani Dowding, Henrietta Swan Leavitt, Hayden Panettiere, Jobeth Williams, Yvette Nelson, Amy Vasbeck, Gia Carides, Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin, Marie Tharp, Keeley Hazell, America Ferrera, Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, Emily Keyes, Teresa Palmer, Emmery Munoz, Elise Neal,  Alison Lohman, Kari Byron, Alexandra Sim Wise, Tiffany Rayne, Veronica Vanoza, Esurence Girl, Linda O’Neil, Maya Mills, Jenny Quinn, Katie Carso, Racheal Baughan, Anka Romensky,  Victoria & Vanessa Milton, Mellisa Kay, Lil' Lexie, Heather Sych, Little Summer, Joanna Marie,  Misty Silver,  Jennifer Granholm, Little April,  Yulia Nikolina, Jodie Foster, Mindy Sterling, Mellisa Milano, Jill Hennessey,  Natalie Maines, Little Bree, Mia Bangg, Margaret Easley, Nikki Dial, Caroline Dhavernas,  Holly Lewis, Taylor Schilling, Dascha Polanco, Yael Stone, Taryn Manning, Elizabeth Rodriguez, Jackie Cruz, Lauren Lapkus, Alysia Reiner, Lizzy Caplan, Betsy Brandt, Anna Gunn, Laura Fraser, Amanda Walsh, Allison Mack,  Erica Durance, MacKenzie Mack, Joanna Angel, Destiny Summers, Morgan Webb, Anna Benson, Natalie Gulbis, Kristen Chenoweth, Linda Hardy, Leann Tweeden, Marie-Josee Croze, Chloe Nicole, Robyn Moler, Poorna Jagannathan,  Beth Anna, Heatther Wahlquist, Regina Rice, Charity Shea, Dian Parkinson,  Dee Wallace, Moon Bloodgood, Tara Conner, Alexandra Holden, Kelly Rowland, Beyonce Knowles, Katherine Isabelle, Anna Rose Chang Laura Ramsey, Nicole Bobek, Zuleyka Rivera, Nikki Sanderson, Jemima Rooper, Jillian Michaels, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Amy Spanger, Stacey Nelkin, Ashanti, Kim Delaney, Angie Harmon, Samantha Mathis, Q'orianka Kilcher,  Carrie Stroup, Abbie Cornish, Zoe Tapper, Kate Mara, Rhona Mitra, Susan Barnes, Jill Kelly, Janine Lindemulder, Shirley Temple, Sarah-Jane Potts, Georgina Horsley, Lara Logan, Alysha Del Valle, Marley Shelton, Paula Patton, Lauren German,  Zoe Bell, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kim Director,  Kiersten Warren, Sarah Roemer, Joi Lansing, Madeline Castle, Sharon Costanzo, Selena Gomez,  Madison Monroe, Madison Sins, Tabitha Blue, Sasha Knox, Jennifer Hurt, Candice Jackson,  Georgine Darcy, Brittany Sylvanowicz, Maggie Star, Paloma, Anneka di Lorenzo, Valerie Rae Clark, Eileen Daly,  Dawn Allison, Melissa Lauren, Adrianna Costa, Jennifer Inch, Jennifer Ehle, Maria Ford, Holly Sampson, Virginia Mayo, Nancy O'Brian, Brigitte Lahaie, Deborah Caprioglio, Claire Keim, Catherine Ringer,  Helli Louise, Nicole Brown Simpson, Jovita Bush, Kimberley Page, Natalie Avital, Jenna Gering, Kimber Riddle,  Siobhan Fallon, Marie McCray, Denise Boutte, Danica KcKellar, Lindsay Maxwell, Michelle Molineux, Kim Poirier, Kelly Rice, Margherita Donato, Natalie McFetridge, Leslie Stefanson, Josie Davis,  Cindy Ambuehl, Sarah Larson, Lisa Snowden, Rachel Nicols, Morgan Layne, Abbie Boudreau,  Dawn Yanek, Kathleen Robertson, Chay Santini, Sandra Seeling, Stacy Ann Rose, Mariann Gavelo, Erika Smith, Hiromi Oshima, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Tawny Kitaen, Alessandra Toreson, Martina Finch, Deborah Harmon, Tracy Smith, Dani Douthette, Toni Alessandrini, and Warren G. Harding. 
   I wish I could have squeezed a few more pictures in, but there’s only so much room in your average wallet.
   "We're going to need a bigger wallet," I told myself.
   Please don’t read anything into the order of those presented above. Each of these ladies I cherish for their own individual qualities, whatever they may be. I have no illusions towards their humanity and do not idolize them, and do not pretend that each lack  their own faults and times of awkward despair. Yet I consider it a privilege to have existed at a time corresponding to their own life spans, or at a point where I could learn of them from the past, and I look forward to meeting, or learning of others in the future (some of these ladies, it seems, are from the future... which is really weird and inexplicable). 
   I know this though, upon the instant of my death, along with my own family, past loves and friends, I shall remember each with fondness, and rejoice that my life was made easier because of my knowledge of them.
   Except for Harding.
   Why do I have pictures of these ladies, some of them I don’t even know, in my wallet? 
   Because it pleases me to have them there, and it helps to alleviate some of my immense loneliness.  
   I was pleased with the finished result. One really can’t tell if a new wallet will live up to your expectations until it is filled, and all personal items safely tucked away into their new home. 
   Now, with my somewhat bulky and quite heavy wallet filled to capacity, I was ready to face the world.
   I watched what became my favorite new movie, “About Schmidt,” the story of widower Warren Schmidt, a retired insurance actuary from Omaha, trying to find some meaning for his life at age 66, and attempting to save his estranged daughter from entering into a disastrous marriage. 
   Brilliantly portrayed by Jack Nicholson, and written and directed by Alexander Payne, I found the film very affecting, and somewhat touching, not particularly funny although it was billed partly as a comedy. Those parts that were amusing seemed to take from the story. 
   Personally though I found myself relating to what Schmidt was trying to do and feel. We even both sponsored children in third world countries, his, a little boy in Tanzania, mine, a little girl in Thailand.  
   I had to stop the tape the movie was on at 4:30 to have dinner, and again at 5:30 to watch Jackie Guerrido’s weather report on the Univision channel.  
   One must be aware of the weather. 
   It was interesting to note, at least for me, that during the credits a whole screen was devoted to Nicholson’s eight personal assistants, including two chefs. Does this guy tie his own shoe laces, or what? 
   Of course not. He probably uses buckles. 
   Anyway, this is certainly different from his “Little Shop of Horrors,” days.
   After reading until midnight, I watched “Panic Room,” which I’ve seen twice before. I’m a big fan of the director, David Fincher. His “Fight Club,” is a masterpiece. This film, the tale of a creepy burglary in a Manhattan town house, is a great follow up. As you may recall dear readers, I like long tracking shots, and “Panic Room,” provides a good one. Beginning at Jodie Foster’s bed and traversing all throughout her brand new empty house, utilizing newly developed X-Ray and miniaturization technology not available to most ordinary people.
   I went to sleep after the movie. It was late. I dreamt I was walking through a flooded rice paddy field in Thailand, holding Pornjan Kantee’s hand, the little girl I once sponsored. She was holding Courtney Love’s hand, and we walked on toward the setting sun.