Leaked Republican Memo: Conservative Plan To Take Over Congress

   The Republican strategy to have it’s female surrogates accuse prominent members of the Democratic Congress of sexual misconduct seems to be working considering as soon as the accusations are made Democrats in leadership positions fall all over themselves to prove their moral superiority over Republicans by calling for the resignation of those accused without benefit of investigations into the allegations themselves or examination by the Congressional Ethics Committee. Accordingly due to mounting public pressure, Congressional leaders, Minnesota Senator Al Franken for example, take a collective dive on their own sword and resign. Thanks to internal memos gathered from senior Republican leadership, it has been ascertained that Republicans expect the entire existing Democratic Congressional membership to be uplifted and sent back to the states from which they came covered in a shroud of disgrace and humiliation before the 2018 midterm elections, while Republicans accused of similar actions (Roy Moore of Alabama and President Trump being prime examples) march on, oblivious to public opinion, and without worries of scrutiny by their own  Republican Congressional leadership, proving the Republican mantra of "We Just Don't Give A Fuck!" to be 100% true.
   The next phase of this plan will go into effect within the next month by the surreptitious spreading of rumors of female Congressional Democrats, such as New York’s Kirsten Gillibrand, of groping male interns in a suggestive and unseemly manner.  It is expected she will resign shortly after it is discovered that the senior senator from her state, Chuck Schumer, committed suicide after allegations were made that he molested 12 to 15 year old female members of the Coxsackie Frontier Girls, initiating Gillibrand's call for his immediate resignation citing a non-existent policy of zero tolerance.