Sunday, April 11, 2010

Yoga 3

Lovely Beth

2010 L.A. Marathon Runner

I worked like a little devil up in my box until 12:45, then left the building dressed in my yoga clothes (shorts and T shirt), and made my way to the Defiance Space, behind the Produce Hotel.
For the second time in recorded history case manager Paul arrived for Yoga Class before the class actually started. The only other time this has occurred was for the very first class, so many years ago.
Erin was already there, along with... Hardy. And one other guy from some other hotel. Our lovely and esteemed teacher, Beth soon arrived and prepared for the class.
I took off my shoes and socks, took everything out of my pockets, and took up a position on a mat between Erin and... Hardy.
Right to left on mats was lovely Erin, myself... Hardy, Paul, and the guy from some other hotel. Beth took up a position in front of us where we could easily see her, where she would demonstrate the various positions, and lead the session. She hooked up a little musical producing device and placed it on the cement floor near her own mat, which would provide soothing yoga music throughout the session. The lights were lowered.
I hadn't been to class for awhile, and Beth said she was glad to see me back.
"Thanks," I said. "I'm super ready to get started. I even want to try the Rabid Monkey position."
"Are you sure? That's a pretty demanding position."
"Oh yeah."
Erin and Paul also wanted to try some different positions, and it was decided that today would be crazy position day, just for a change out of the ordinary.
"Alright, everyone will need their sausages," Beth instructed.
What she meant by that was we were each to have a rolled up disaster blanket, that we would use to rest various parts of our bodies on, or which would be useful when sustaining the different exercises we would be attempting. Those of us who did not have a sausage already went to the storage room and got one. I rolled mine up nice and tight, to where my sausage was about five inches in diameter, and two and a half feet long. Mine was the best sausage there I must say, much better than... Hardy's.
"Alright, let's get started," Beth said. "Today, instead of beginning with our breathing like we normally do, we'll begin with Cat/Cow. So everybody on their hands and knees..."
Cat/Cow is one of my favorite positions as it is relatively an easy one to attain and maintain. All one needs to do is get on your hands and knees and arch your back up in the "Cat" position, then the exact opposite, down, like a cow with udders. Back and forth. I could do Cat/Cow all day.
We all knew how to do Cat/Cow as we do it most every week. Still it is our habit to watch Beth as she demonstrates every position, new or old.
I have to admit something here. Our esteemed yoga teacher Beth is a beautiful young woman, as you can clearly see from the picture above. And watching her demonstrate the positions, especially those like Cat/Cow when she is facing away from me, well let's just say the effect can sometimes be a tad... disconcerting.
All warmed up now Beth put us through our respective paces. Erin, Little Miss Super Flexible, and Paul, being the youngest of our group by far, usually have no problem achieving some of the more difficult positions. Hell, most of those I couldn't have attained even when I was their age. I've never been able to even touch my own toes while standing. However, I have the upper hand in those exercises that require more arm and upper body strength, like yoga push ups, where I leave Erin in my dust.
All warmed up Beth directed us in the standard Downward Facing Dog position, the Rotating Blue Jay, followed closely with Paul's favorite, the Unruly Woodchuck. I preferred the Screaming Chihuahua myself, which came next, then we graduated to the Prancing Goldfish, then to Erin's fave, the Crazed Pygmy Jerboa.
Next the Lazy Starfish, followed closely by the Promiscuous Pika, the Horrendous Tadpole, and the Ambiguous Giraffe.
I was really working up a sweat with that freaking tadpole thing (it's not as easy as it looks), and after the giraffe, Beth instructed us to get our sausages ready.
"No Hardy, roll it back up the way you had it," she said.
"Like this Beth?" I showed her my sausage.
"Yes Rick," she replied, "your sausage is good."
"Thanks Beth."
We used our sausages with the next two positions, the Supportive Skunk, and the Dancing Octopus.
"Erin, stop grabbing my sausage," I had to keep telling her.
We abandoned our sausages for the Worried Rhino, Excited Zebra, and the Sleeping Mole.
"Now here's some really difficult ones," Beth proclaimed. "Some of these I have trouble with."
Geeze, that's was all I needed to hear. That Sleeping Mole thing almost wiped me out.
In rapid succession we moved to the Flying Pig, the Swimming Squirrel, the Homicidal Armadillo, then finished off with the Pissed Off Jackalope and the Mildly Aggravated Flea.
We then took back our sausages to lie back on as we regained our breathing.
Next week Beth said we would try the infamous Ice Skating Cobra. I for one can't wait.
For those of you, dear readers, who are in the Los Angeles area, or thereabouts, who would like to hire Beth to teach yoga, please follow the link provided above.

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