Tuesday, September 22, 2009


How depressing.
Jessica Simpson, lovely woman, witnessed her Malti-poo dog, Daisy, dragged off by a wild coyote. "My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR!" she Tweeted. This occurred a little over a week ago and apparently the two were very close. "They told each other everything," a close friend stated. My greatest sympathies go out to her, as I can only imagine how it would feel to lose a loved one in such a manner.
Freaking coyotes.
For those who say she should accept the fact that Daisy is ... has passed, and move on, Jessica declares, "Still holding out hope despite the assholes that say it is a dumb thing to do. Daisy is my baby...why would I stop searching? I'm a mom."
I have much affection generally for Ms. Simpson, who along with Rebecca Romijn, among well known celebrity type females, represent to me exceptional examples of the quintessential all American girl.
Now all of my other female friends with brunette or red, or brown hair will be pissed off at me. How depressing.
The only reason I even mention this is because these two actresses are the only ones I've ever considered in thought experiments to play the epic role of April Delaney, if a movie were ever made of John Nichols, "The Magic Journey," an American classic as far as I'm concerned.
We discussed this issue at yesterday's Depression Group at the downtown V.A. (Veteran's Administration) clinic.
"Yes, it would be very depressing to see your Malti-poo eaten by a coyote," Tomika asserted, "and sad." She was filling in for the lovely Dr. Kimberly, who was on medical leave and expected back in two weeks.
"Well, she didn't actually see the dog being eaten," I corrected her. "That would have been horrible."
There were four of us vets there, all middle aged men, about an average number for this group. This was the first time I'd ever met Tomika, and the new intern, Lauren, one a slim blond sporting glasses, the other a slim black lady, both in their mid-twenties and attractive. For girls. I'll let you decide, dear readers, which one was which.
"What else do you consider a depression trigger, Rick?' Tomika asked.
"Republicans," I told her.
"Republicans?" Lauren queried, "Why is that?"
"Because they lost the election. The last two elections really, and the media is still listening to what they have to say as if it mattered."
"Don't you think they should have a voice..."
"I see..."
They lost. I don't mind them being heard every once in a while, but every freaking day MSNBC, CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, PBS, and any other initialed media outlet hangs on to every word of what any Republican spokesperson has to say is if it mattered. It freaking doesn't! They lost! They're the party that let George Bush screw up this country to the brink of disaster and we're supposed to take what they have to say seriously, as the media would have us. How freaking absurd!
And since the Republican politicians have lost the last two elections (2006 & 2008), evil morons like Glen (Over Actor) Beck, and Rush (The Drugster) Limbaugh are now the titular heads of the Republican movement, which doesn't say a great deal for the state of the Republican movement! But the media keeps on reporting what ever they spew as if they were still in power and they represented the view of the majority of Americans. They don't. Don't pay any attention to them and maybe they'll go away.
Fat chance of that though. Keep an eye on these traitorous and treacherous bastards, but from a distance.
Take Acorn for example. Hearing the Republicans talk about them, the innocuous community organizing group is a mixture of the Nazi Socialist Party, the Ku Klux Klan (awkward for those Republicans who actually are members of the Ku Klux Klan), Communist Baby Killers, and Buddhist War Mongers. This noise stirs up the Republican base, which seemingly pressures the spineless Democrats in Congress to do what ever the Republicans want. But why?! It's the Republican base that's getting stirred up, not the Democratic or Independent base. WTF!
"That seems to make you more angry than depressed, Ri..."
"And heath care..." We know the Republicans don't want health care reform, they never have wanted health care reform, they never will want health care reform, and they will do everything they can to stop health care reform, yet the Democrats bend over backwards, gut their own bills and provisions to pander in the name of bipartisanship, for what purpose? None that I can see. There is a reason the people elected a Democratic majority in the House and Senate, and that was so legislation could get passed WITHOUT THE FREAKING REPUBLICANS! But Nooooooooo!! They still can't seem to get anything done.
"Maybe we should discuss something besides politics," Tomika offered. "What other than politics can set off a bout of depression, and what are your strategies to prevent..."
"Polar bears depress me," I told her. "Commercials on T V with freaking Sharon Lawrence that show polar bears with their little polar bear babies running out of ice to hunt and play on because of global warming. I find that depressing."
"I see."
"The Republicans will tell you global warming doesn't even exist..."
"Now see, we're getting back to pol..."
"The census depresses me," I continued. "Did you know that as a direct result of the downturn in housing starting in two thousand and six, one in three Americans fifteen years or older, reported they've never been married? The highest in a decade."
"No, I didn't know that..."
"And Tom Delay depresses me..."
"Tom Delay, the Texas..."
"That's right, the former House Majority Leader from Texas."
"Why does he depre..."
"Do you know that in less than a week it will have been four years, FOUR YEARS MIND YOU, that he was indicted for conspiring to violate campaign finance law, and he still hasn't gone to trial! FOUR YEARS! I thought justice in Texas was swift, just like their boats. Instead what do we get? Tom Delay frigging dancing with the stars! Now that really is depressing"
"I see," Tomika continued, "Maybe we should move on..."
"And freaking leprechauns..."
On and on. Fortunately for Tomika and Lauren, lovely girls, the hour was soon up, and we all went our respective, depressed ways.

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